The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

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Gambit37
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The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Gambit37 »

This thread will write out the story in full (see this post for more information)

-----------------------------------------------------

VACATIONING IN THE (GIGANTIC) ISLAND OF SERENDIPITY by the DM.com forum


Once there were seventeen felicitous Screamers, driven insane gladly by Mophus's gigantic bald ostrich, named Horacio. Mophus sadly decided to cut Horacio's budget holiday while lasciviously peeping through Nabi's vegetables.

"Oh!" giggled Tiggy as the enourmous yet petite Screamer's appendages undulated hillariously. "Something stirs in your undercroft," remarked Stamm, giggling like Horacio.

Wandering gigantic beavers, damming everything conspicuously, celebrated noisily by gnawing surreptitiously on their bespeckled plums. Hardly any intelligble muppetry was enervated by Tiggy's favourite banana. "Christmas kumquats?" offered Hissssssssssssa, spraying phlegm mightily over Screamers, while they sang impeded carols.

Gigantic Trolins filibustered whimsically to techno beats, laughing at Nabi's smoooooth codpiece approached by Mophus. "Ah, nibbles!" exclaimed the gigantic Trolins, clambering over screaming champions to devour every Wotsit that melts fantastically on Horacio's suitcase. Never before did cheesy lines endanger with violence.

So cruely did Mophus regurgitate Wuuf's Vorpal hamster that he gyrated wantonly, ogling Zed's unbelieveably shiny yet depressingly oozing beard. "Slacktards!" Gothmog screamed flatulently, throwing unadulterated insults regarding Syra's gigantic petunias. "I demand several gigantic melons for breakfast!" he shouted while dithering haphazardly amongst the drooling gigantic Screamers.

Suddenly, beaverishly, Lord Chaos's beaver leapt furiously onto cheerful Chani's cheerful chrysanthemums, chewing charitably. Suddenly Azizi's bikinzi was tragically recoloured comically purple, blueish with gold chocolates. "How disappointing diapers become hats and other accessories!", she quipped, nodding like a mentalist.

"True!" Gando replied.

"Falsehood!" Azizi shouted rambunctiouzizily while adjusting her attitude, helped laciviously by a coutle-pretzel. "Venom-y vermin, twistily singing jaunty gigglers songs, butted heads."

"What?" exclaimed Iaido, "hermatically, exclamitorily, I'm cucumbersome and gigantic!" Elsewhere, seventeen Santas dressed gingers dramatically but Gando's hairdye ran gloopily downwards until several llamas lapped thirstily at gigantic Daroou's gigantic, glorious gargantula.

"Where sits the bottomless Bonobo?" queried Leif conspiratorily. Presently vexirks sauntered saucily around and winked while saucily beckoning screamers who still look sticky, sappy and slimy.

"BEWARE BOLD hawk," the gormless sign signalled, highlighting happily terrible forthcoming horror. Hawk hawkishly cowered, curled around his fluffy little bunny slippers while daisies swayed tumultuously among sticky puddings.

"Run! Gigantic beavers ahoy!" yelled Stamm, sprinting headlong into Tiggy's warm cubbyhole-like bathroom, needing desperately to fiddle while Chani sang Gangnam style. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Vex(irk)y Lady!"

"What the dragoncrap's going wrong?" questioned Tiggy, squirming from beneath hundreds of tiny shiny whiny slimy gigantic titanic atlantic frantic pedantic fan-fics. "Nothing!" replied Hawk's slippers's owner's pet's ostrich-like bandicoot.

"Hear ye Hawk" hawked Hasslehoff hoffishly, threateningly clad suggestively in spinach. Bemused and befuddled Oitus suddenly danced suggestively circling Hasslehoff, then paraded coquettishly hoping for fulfillment or credit cards. Antmen endorsed cheques bounce a thousand miles into custard pies. The Hoff huffily hogged the Hogwarts' mascot. Leyla shook Linflas's shiny, pendulous, white-washed yet strangely grey bow-ling ball that eluded all dairy-based bottles' opposition.

Gigantic giga-gigglers stole tiny Tiggy's tiny turgid waterskin. Dancing, swimming rodents ate rodently turnips greedily. "Bandersnatch! Stop zithering and dancing, you banal turnip rodents!" Meanwhile, Nabi prophesied that the glops would conquer many dungeons but evenly, sensibly and slimily cautious. His prophecy nonsense failed to inspire oxygen renewal, yet-i growth, or lurgid randomness. Disappointed, Nabi falsified eyewitness memory, claiming reindeer lied, claiming Santa lied, claiming about twenty-five of Tiggy's empty undergarments.

"Oh-no," Zed exclaimed, "my pet parrot flew diagonally out then it collided with verspertine fireflies, before gigantic suicidal thirsty froghoppers hopped blindly towards splattery legs of blind spiderlings."

"Batman!" yelled Gando, stretching whilst casting FUL GOR, bro! Batman POW'd gigantic fists of frugality and gibbered gibberously as if Robin said "Gibber Batman!" Suddenly, owls howled gigantic poems for deaf Stamm who couldn't see without erecting piles of mince-pies. Ravenous badgers ravaged cabbage rabidly then predicted global funky thermo-nuclear dance-dance-revolution.

"Armaggedon!" jeered Gothmog's grandmother. "It itches me in weird-shaped rooms! Iaido knows!" she revealed gassily, violently punching seventeen gigantic turnips into ridiculously gigantic swedes.

Confused, her grandson Iaido was! Hungry? Not for Christmas. "Wu-tse!" thought Gothmog's brother Iaido, "I was sibling-ised by fromage so cheesy androgyny. Stately Wayne Musturd accused me!" Whatever Professor Plum did, he did not do that. "Not do disagreeable things, okay?"

"No," clarified the inebriated monkeys, "Plagiarism demystified Shakespearean Baconisms!"

"WTF?" sang Syra, holding out chestnuts for Leyla's stormring. Leyla opened up her heart and removed some inhibitions, spinning tunes like outkast's gigantic egos or outcasts' underwear. Robin the Hoodlum guitarishly crooned gigantic weasles asleep while thinking disgusting recipes involving Gothmog's laundry-basket.

The weasels wizzled weakly wizards wantonly wegarding wantons' weaknesses with wizened walnuts Woger warranted weighty whimsical waffles!

Zed wealised speaking with impediments didn't impede Banville's hammer of surgery biscuits. The groaning Elija gratified Sonya She-devil's gigantic fanny-pack with gigantic Halk's bum-bag while Sonya syncopated coyly under crackers and Marmite.

"Well, dug deep, delving downwards, downwards, ever Balrogwards, jauntily jumping jingoistically towards foul fowl," Gothmog sang, "Jingle Bulls mistakenly shaven, whsitles burned away."

Gigantic grimicing galvantised gadgets guaranteed greater germination governance Gangnam style. Flimsiness never stopped screamers flatulence from frightening Boris's hamster, causing apocalyptic enervations to cascade effervescently spouting ruination, Alex postulated.

Reindeer rampaged omnivorously.

Playing gigantic yet huge and tiny, miniscule cacophonies, Zed outrageously trumpeted gandalfwards and somehow gigantic bacon beavers' beverages tipped hodge-podge-like over Azizi's enormous yet dainty attire. Suddenly Hissssa hissed hiss-terically, Gangdalmf-style, indubitably m-hissssing Ven-like the Panda sausages.

"Forsooth!" equivocated Bilbo's nemisis Gimli finally agreeing to bath-time under mistletoe-related gigantic trolins.

"Splish splash take my gigantic bath," crooned Chani, whilst washing Theron's oversized underpants with Daz. Surprisingly, gigantic opportunities arose from Mophus's ostrich's gigantic turnip suitcase, from Hong Kong. Finally, it became highly obvious for all of the small champions gathered that nothing would procreate, unless seventeen Screamers fondled gigantic Fulcrum, while letting out a gargantuan and noxiously pungently grotesque sigh.

"Grynix-y laaaaaady!" yodelled Chani, flinging lusty lampshades Vexirk-wards calamitously. Felicitously, Beowuuf's fuzzy sporran caught gigantic spurts of porridge-like gloopy custard. Fulcrum wasn't watching Sonya's lustrous locks, he lusted instead for Mophus's beard. The crow's friend, Pivot, postulated perfunctorily passionate poems, primarily gigantic yet pert. Presently, all present presented presents to presenters of presentations to presentable present presenters.

"Caw!" cawed combo-breaking Fulcrum, calamitously swoopingly falling from grace. Pivot died. Fulcrum cried. No-one cared.

The champions never heard any avian grief, because Azizi's battle-bra, purple, broke. "Colors," Fulcrum lamented. Suddenly, Azizi's arse-like belt burst.


Everything disappeared eventually.
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Re: The Silly and Chaotic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

Epilogue
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seventeen falicitous screamers, driven insane by the night's antics, sang their carols to Tiggy under her fan-fics so she didn't think of her missing waterskin. The strains of trolin techno music had faded afetr the Trolins left. The venom-y vermin joined the screamers in their songs, all arguments forgotten with their bellies fulled with turnip. The vexirks looked on appreciatively. Chani sang to the Vexirk lady in her gigantic bath with her gigantic set of galvinised gadgets, while Leya just sang, showing all her cool ring. Sonya settled under her crackers and Marmite with her filled fanny-pack. Gothmog still sang about his well, much to everyone's bemusement.

Nabi couldn't believe the descruction of his vegetable patches and fruit trees, stamped on and stolen from in equal measure. Plums had been gnawed, spittle ridden kumquats, gigantic melons and his turnips were gone or swede-ised, chestnuts were stolen, and walnuts wantonly weighed. Even his bananas had been abused, failing to enervate the muppetry. Chani and Syra would not be happy with the damage to their flowers, and even his irrigation systems was damned by bacon from gigantic bacon beavers! He straightened his mocked codpieces, happy the dangerous wotsit gamble had paid off to distracted the trolins until Gimli could keep them entertained and see them off. Nabi realised he'd need to return Tiggy's undergarments to see if anyone knew what had happened. Or tamper with more eyewitnesses to blame someone else.

Horacio sadly looked to his stained suitcase, knowing he had no money for a new one in his reduced budget. Azizi looked sad too, with her bikinzi altered to an unflattering colour, her battle-bra broken, her burst arse-like belt, and her diapers resigned to other purposes, and further stained by beaver beverages.

The pair saw all the sad other pets - Boris's hamster, pushed away by the screamer gasses, Zed's parrot, wuuf's vorpal hamster, and Hawk's odd-looking bandicoot. Even Fulcrum was sad, something about a dead friend - who cared. Horacio and Azizi combining the powers of the two hamsters, with Alex's advice, feeding them Tiggy's banana. The evervations were enough to undo the muppetry - even those visited by froghoppers and fireflies. The coatle-pretzel helped Azizi wash her clothing with Chani's Daz, and Azizi and Horacio happily went on a visit to Batman's cave - once Batman stopped gibbering. The pets - even a restored Pivot - came along, having stolen Gothmog's washing-basket for the Chsistmas meal. The weasels were allowed to come along, now their dispute with the wizards had been settled by Woger.

Hisssa finally found the Panda Sausages and settled with the bacon beavers, sharing the sausasges with an oggled-out Mophus who found them better than hamster. Zed bought everyone - even Lord Chaos's beaver - some new beverages by wringing out his oozing beard into his trumpets - wjoch he'd Banville hammered in to cups. Gando's gloopy hairdye helped add some flavour. The group all sat listening to the music. Iaido sat with his brother - Iaido might be cucumbersome and sibling-ised, but at least he not hungry and now not thirsty.

Hawk never did find out the real danger the oitu-circled Hasslehoff was warning him of. Neither did Leif find the bottomless Bonobo. Little did either know of the Bonobo's work, as the little fella sat in the Batcave eating of Robin's recipe.

Stamm managed to hear the singing too, secure in Tiggy's cubby-hole bathroom. He'd gone in to the pie business with some Antmen, with the owls as go-betweens.

The Reindeers finally stopped rampaging, entertained by the gingers of the Santas and finally satisfied that they understood the Bacon/Shakespear situation. The inebriated monkies were dressed as elves, and the Santas managed to go around the world to deliver all of the presents - even to the confused presenters. Although they alldisappeared, eventually.


And that's how serendipity saved Christmas.
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Re: The Silly and Chaotic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Sophia »

Great!

Although, I believe this should have been called the "Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012." :mrgreen:
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

Done in your honour :)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Gambit37 »

My list of easter-eggs for my DSB adventure just went up a few more... :-)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Seriously Unserious »

:lol:
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by oh_brother »

Nice, and good epilogue!

I was sorry to miss the culmination - even less internet access than I expected over the holidays.
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

At least you made in back! Happy New Year :D
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Gambit37 »

Wow, I didn't realise the first one was eight years ago!
http://dungeon-master.com/forum/viewtop ... =2&t=24022

And wow Beo, you've passed 20,000 posts and no-one noticed! Congrats :-)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

I feel people should nominate a rank for me to have for a while.


And yeah, off and on we've been doing these thingfs for a while :)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Gambit37 »

A new rank, you say? How about "Cucumbersome" :-)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Sophia »

I would vote "Gigantic" but that's just getting old. :mrgreen:
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Seriously Unserious »

Besides, that should be reserved for your custom rank. It's your trademark word after all. :P

@Beo: I have noticed you closing in on 20000 posts for a while now, but I didn't realize you'd passed it so fast. That Christmas story was an absolute post monster wasn't it? :lol:

I have a good idea. How about Captain Nemo: 20000 posts under the sea. :P

8)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Gambit37 »

"Bacon Beaver"
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by ian_scho »

Just "Admin" would suffice, Beo :)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Seriously Unserious »

I know the perfect one:





Nabi's Condpiece! :P
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Ameena »

"Cond"? ;)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

And the winner is...
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

Hey, my post count distracted from Gambit becoming the Big Bastard Lord of Cheese rank he coined!
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Gambit37 »

Did I?
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

Yup, 12,000 is big bastard, and 87808 is bigger bastard.
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Gambit37 »

I guess my self appointed pie eating overrides my bastardery :-)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

Just like my sea of posts is hiding my beo-lific poster of doom status :D I figure I could get away with some self-indulgence to make that the official 20,000 rank, right? :p
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Seriously Unserious »

Ameena wrote:"Cond"? ;)
That was supposed to be "Nabi's Codpiece.


Damn typo's :evil:
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Seriously Unserious »

I just noticed something else that's escaped notice due under all the fuss about beo's sea of posts, Ameena is closing in on 6000 posts.
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

*looks up the list* pshah, 6000 isn't special :p


Congrats!
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Ameena »

Oh cool, I hadn't actually looked at my post count for ages :D.
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Seriously Unserious »

beowuuf wrote:*looks up the list* pshah, 6000 isn't special :p


Congrats!
It may not mean anything in terms of rank, but it is, nevertheless, still a milestone. 8)
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by Ameena »

The milestone I've been keeping an eye on is that I'll have been here ten years this March...
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Re: The Silly and Gigantic Christmas Story 2012 IN FULL

Post by beowuuf »

O.O wow, that's pretty cool! Where does the time go?
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