To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die

[Gambit37]

I had some very sad news over the weekend: my nephew M was in a serious car accident. He walked away from the accident with minor injuries, but his girlfriend H sadly did not survive. Both 19, they had recently got back from a trip around New Zealand before going off to Uni this autumn. I can't begin to imagine what M is going through, or his girlfriend's family. My brother (my nephew's dad) is a complete mess as H was like a daughter to him.

I hadn't met H myself, but it's clear that she was a wonderful young woman. She and M were so in love and looking forward to a life together. I just can't believe something so tragic has happened to one so young. We see it on the news all the time and become desensitised to it, but when it happens to someone in your circle, It really puts everything else into perspective. When something like this happens (and I know it's a cliché) you realise how fragile and fleeting life can be and that we must make the most of the time we have and be thankful for it.

I feel so sad for my nephew. He's grown into a wonderful, decent young man with his whole life ahead of him. I don't know how he will cope: as the driver who walked away with his life, he is always going to feel responsible for what happened to H. I hope he is strong enough to come out of this with the support of friends and family.

I hadn't met his girlfriend, but had followed their New Zealand trip via the photos they were posting on Facebook, so I felt I did know her a little. They were clearly best friends and so in love and had so much to look forward to. Now she is gone and things will never be the same again. My thoughts are with her family, my nephew and his family.

This has really shocked and saddened me and made me very reflective on life and why we are here. Who really knows?

RIP H xxx

[Trego]

My condolences to you and the families involved.

It is always sad when people we know leave us forever, and sometimes sadder still when others leave us and we wished for the time to get to know them even more.

May the love and life left behind grow stronger with the memories and experiences yet to gain.

[Jan]

*sigh*

And my condolences too.

Yes, the world can be very unfair sometimes. Such things always make you stop and think about your life, and make you forget about your little "pains" and "problems" - they seem so unimportant when you face such a tragedy.

Now, the most important think to do for you and your family is to be and talk and stay with M as much as possible, because you really never know what can he thing about and what terrible could he do... the support of family is very important at this moment.

[Zyx]

That's terrible. I hope your nephew will manage one day to get over it, and his familly, and her familly...

[beowuuf]

Indeed, I hope your nephew realises - as you say - that it was not his fault. Infact it was lucky he too survived, and more importantly that someone who arguably knew his girlfriend best is still alive to remember her and keep her memory alive in the future. And of course my thoughts to her family, extended family and friends.

These things are never easy nor understandable. The manager at our company had one of his best friends and friend's girlfriend die in a car accident a few days before the manager's birthday - with the funeral on his birthday.

And one of the children of a friend of he family - who I had known when he was much younger - had come back from a tour of Iraq to die in a car crash here.

You can only hope that the families manage to find a way to come to terms with it and move on, and that you yourself can heed the lesson of such events.

[Gambit37]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. It means a lot to know that others sympathise, even when not knowing the people involved.

[Trantor]

My condolences, too. I think everything I could say has already been said, so I won't repeat it. When I hear about news like these, I always have a bad conscience for whining about my silly little problems so much...
All the best wishes to you, your family, and H's family.