Laws of dungeon delving...

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 12:35 pm

Amazon: Party member out to prove she’s more of a man than any man, while dressing to prove she’s also more woman than any woman, and acting like she’s more of a woman than any man can handle.
Ballad: Form of entertainment describing the events experienced by victorious heroes.
Dirge: Form of entertainment describing the actual events experienced by heroes.(See also: Eulogy)
Blood: Inexpensive marking device used to inform other delvers where traps are located.
Copper Piece: Inexpensive marking device used to show late-coming delvers where treasures used to be located.
Bone: That part of a delver likely to last long enough for the authorities to determine exactly which dungeon you died in (Sometimes a critical question for determining disposition of worldly goods).
Campfire: Device used to attract monsters, above and below ground.
Chiurgery: the art of preventing people from bleeding to death by attaching leeches to suck them dry. See also: Quack, Suicide, Lingering Death and Amputation.
Danger Zone: Subtract X (the number of times you have exited from a dungeon) from Y (the number of times you have entered a dungeon). Any time Y-X does not equal zero, you are in a danger zone.
Dirty Harry Speech: A phrase, riddle or essay composed by adventurers during slack time to commemorate a victory, underscore an irony, humiliate a foe, or otherwise enhance the drama of a combat round. Also, a signal to villains to attack immediately because the guy doing the talking really, really expects you to wait politely until he finishes.
Dragon Hoard: Place for adventurers to store shiny personal effects while they work their way through the reincarnation cycle back to Hero again.
Dungeon Party: Means of leveraging your afternoon up from a mere suicide to a suicide pact.
Face Off: The reason players are hard to identify following an orc attack.
Familiar: Really cool, slightly useful and very dangerous aspect of being a mage, in that you bind a good deal of your soul and hit points to a small animal that couldn’t fight its way out of a Teletubby slumber party.
Fault: Mechanism for determining the member of the party that will be most useful when a human (or near human) sacrifice is required.
Fog: Weather elemental used to allow your fate to sneak up close and prevent preparation or escape.
Funny: Gamemaster word used as a synonym for ‘deadly.’ “You hear a funny noise.” “Something smells funny.” “Something about the temple just seems funny to the cleric.”
Hero: The adventurer most willing to be the first to enter a dungeon (lair, den, nest, warren, burrow, labyrinth, ruin, marsh or any other term for the location of a collection of monsters).
Wealth: Items of interest retrieved from the remains of the Hero.
Hibernation: Method some monsters use to minimize the chance of being detected by a party and also maximize their grumpiness when the party stumbles over them.
Magic Weapon: A device augmented by supernatural forces, designed to use adrenaline and confidence to cause suicide.
Magic Wand: A 'Magic Weapon' for character classes that don't use swords.
Holy Item: An object augmented by supernatural forces, usually involving the horrible death of a religious celebrity, used by a less famed follower of the same religion in thequaint hopes of preventing their own death. See also Magic Weapon.
Mapping: Process by which a Gamemaster uses poor language skills to highlight a player's poor graphing skills (and vice versa). Usually resolved when all attempts at mapping are suspended during high speed transits. (See also: Retreat)
Natural Weaponry: That part of a creature designed to poke holes in the adventurer’s body parts. All animals have weaponry. Some carry it in their mouth (fangs), some carry it atop their heads (antlers, horns), and most have something painful on their feet (claws, hooves, steel-toed shoes). Classification is left to the naturologists, just be aware anything with a pulse will try to kill you.
Negotiate: Means of delaying combat rounds for as long as it takes for the monster to figure out which of the party is the greatest threat.
Ninjas: Disposable bad-guy combat round minions deployed for humor relief. Unless there’s only one, then he’s death on roller blades.
Ocean: Place where pirates store armor and those who wear it during maritime combat.
Optimism: An annoying characteristic of first-time characters. Not usually a problem after their replacements are rolled up.
Oracle: Supernatural being with the amazing power to tell you exactly 76% of what you need to know to complete an adventure. No refunds.
Plowshare: Shiny new metal tool the villager leans against while denying any idea of where your arms and armor may have got to.
Rest: a state of non-exertion, without emotional pressure, blinding pain, closing pursuit or fear of betrayal from co-workers. See also: Death.
Retirement: Long term rest See also: Dead and Buried.
Retreat: Process by which delvers become aware of the fact that they no longer have access to the exit.
Sacrifice: Means of drawing the attention of the Gods. Usually not your own
Scouting Report: A specific genre of fiction produced by NPCs.
Starlight: Naturally occuring phenomena used to determine that something big has ripped a hole in your tent.
Tent: Packaging material for bear or tiger food.
Supplies: Any consumable, and a reason to enter small villages while traveling towards adventures.
Lynch Party: Reason to avoid small villages while traveling back from adventures.
Tasty Meat Snacks: Body parts removed from delvers by means of traps, attacks, fumbles or other accidents and left to distract dungeon dwellers during retreat.
Tentacle: Quick way to determine if a being or animal is from another dimesion and likely to munch your face off.
Torch: Device used to explore dark spaces, ensure footing and search for clues, treasure and traps.
Torchlight: Radiation from a torch used to lure monsters to the party.
Darkness: Lack of radiation used to indicate the loss of a torch and (usually) the nearness of the monsters.
Trail Blazing: Method of ensuring that all the villains in the forest or maze will be able to find you.
Treasure Map: Device used by The Dark Lords to keep their dungeon dwelling monsters excercised and well-fed.
Treasure: Ethereal concept used to entice otherwise rational citizens into investing time and money in committing suicide.
Vulture: Naturally occurring phenomena used to find party members separated from the group.
Impatient Vulture: Last thing seen by lost party members.
Shark Fins: Vulture substitutes used during maritime adventures.
Impatient Shark: Same as…
War Cry: Mechanism to make sure total surprise is never achieve in war, attack, ambush or assassination.

Jardice · Post by **Jardice** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 7:12 pm

Hahahaha!

SO true so true..

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 7:14 pm

i especially liked that part on the "magical weapon" and "funny" <-- this one beeing the truest of the lot

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 7:21 pm

I liked the blood one the best... : )

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 7:24 pm

Sadist

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 8:19 pm

Ordinary object lying on floor: Item of great power left behind by a powerful if careless character. Won't show it's true powers until a time of great danger. This time of great danger might be because the item is showing its true power.
Friendly charismatic NPC: A character not to become too attached to as he will be incredibly evil, incredibly dead in five minutes time, or become incredibly annoying as the DM uses him more and more.
Large open hall: Area of no functional value in a dungeon that will summon every monster in a mile radius, will cave in, or will summon every monster in a mile radius and then cave in.
Small innocuous creature The most poisonous malicious intellegent evil sunovabich in the dungeon. Run away. Unless it turns out to be the cute loveable comic relief creature instead. Run away.
Area with lots of dead bodies: An area with no inherent value that will nonetheless summon every slow moving delver in a mile radius. Run away.
Trap: A dangerous area indistiguishable form any other part of the dungeon that will nevertheless be found 100% of the time by the leg/head/arm of the party member who has most annoyed the DM

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:52 am

Where did you get those ? made them yourself ?

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:28 am

*nods* you can tell because they aren't as good : )

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:34 am

Well, not exactly not as good, its a language problem... you have to use "old" english like in "the lord of the rings"... but is very good... These two have lots of potencial

Small innocuous creature The most poisonous malicious intellegent evil sunovabich in the dungeon. Run away. Unless it turns out to be the cute loveable comic relief creature instead. Run away.

Trap: A dangerous area indistiguishable form any other part of the dungeon that will nevertheless be found 100% of the time by the leg/head/arm of the party member who has most annoyed the DM[/quote]

Post by **cowsmanaut** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:42 am

I must say the most humourus and terrifying at once creature I've ever read about is the Kender from Dragonlance... They are cute, innocent and too damned curious. Oh wait, Cleptomaniacs, oblivious, chatterboxes, forgetfull, unafraid of anything, complete lack of caution for themselves or their friends... and the list goes on. Gnomes can be cute and dangerous too but none so much as Kender

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:57 am

I agree with you 100%... completly dangerous to themselves and everybody around them (also everybody elses pockets)... the giggler couls be a "fantasysed" version of the Kender, no ? i mean, they only run away when they steal something... i once hit one with 3 low level fireballs and it kept coming for me

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 12:09 pm

The thing I wanted to do in RTC was a 'voracious giggler'
It would look like a normal giggler until it ran up to you. It would then have a very cartoony evil eye look (the thick dipping eyebrows) and mouthful of sharp teeth. It would attack saying 'mine' in a growly way and the attack would be soryt of wide fanged jump. Add the speed and tenacity of a muncher, and i think that would be a fairly terrifying switch from cute to scary.

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 12:11 pm

Hum... that reminded me of the little Cleptomaniacs in DM2... didn't they also screamed "mine" ?

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:04 pm

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:06 pm

I remember them now

i had a hell of a time stomping them... i actually got out of my way just to frag a couple... (and take the gold and knife)

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:08 pm

beowuuf wrote:The thing I wanted to do in RTC was a 'voracious giggler'
It would look like a normal giggler until it ran up to you. It would then have a very cartoony evil eye look (the thick dipping eyebrows) and mouthful of sharp teeth. It would attack saying 'mine' in a growly way and the attack would be soryt of wide fanged jump. Add the speed and tenacity of a muncher, and i think that would be a fairly terrifying switch from cute to scary.

i think that would be very good in a werewolf kinda thing... normal until the last second and then transforming

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:17 pm

unless RTC developed an suicide attack for a monster, then it would involve cunning use of damage tiles and chesting a monster in a monster

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:27 pm

Hum... how about something like Gremlins ? like one cute little furball giving "birth" to real fragging monsters if hit (example) ? would it be possible ? you would have to figure out that particular critter weakness like Fireball or Lightning to kill it

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:35 pm

you can have monsters dropping other monsters upon death, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem

in RTC individual monster types can trigger other monsters, so you could also have your mogui, when touching some water , generate a few gremlins...

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 1:38 pm

That would be a chalenge to any DM... couple a mogui with some fountains ou Water Elementals and it would be total war in the dungeon hehehehehehehe Have your spells ready

Post by **Gambit37** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 2:28 am

Fuzz, your thief proposal sounds like Bilbo at Rivendell when he meets Frodo again...

And I am impressed with your advancement FallenSeraphin! Only here 3 days and you're a Journeyman already!

Jardice · Post by **Jardice** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 5:36 am

Yeah congrats. it took me months to get to where im at(haha and I just started to get into the posting mood again.)

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 10:10 am

Yeah, Peter Jackson and I were talking, I mentioned my giggler idea, next thing I know, bang, it's on the screen of LOTR. Speak about theft.

FallenSeraphin has been averaging 30 posts a day! But it's not all about the post count *cough 49 posts shy of 3000 cough*

Post by **Gambit37** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 12:24 pm

Yeah, on one Tomb Raider forum I visit, someone made over 10,000 posts in a few months -- but they were mostly the one word answer types, or 'conversational' that didn't add anything to the discussion. I really hate that -- it should be about quality, not quantity.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 12:37 pm

exactly

Post by **Gambit37** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 12:46 pm

copperman · Post by **copperman** » Sun Jul 04, 2004 2:18 pm

* Copperman Laughs out loud

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 11:47 am

My advancemet couldnt have been possible without you guys

THANK YOU

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 6:12 pm

*gives you a little statue of chaos known as a 'delvie'*

*ah, 40 posts to go...*

FallenSeraphin · Post by **FallenSeraphin** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 11:49 am

beowuuf wrote:*gives you a little statue of chaos known as a 'delvie'*

*ah, 40 posts to go...*

For you or me ?