Discuss your creative projects: game development, writing, film making or any thing else, fantasy related or otherwise! Talk about art you like, display your own artwork or stories, or offer help and insight.
Whoops, I tried posting this without being logged in and it didn't go through. If it doubles up, I'll delete one of 'em.
Anyway, let's see if I can remember my post, heh.
Here's the start of my DM story! It's unrevised and is probably full of typoes and other problems, but uploading it without reading back over it is the only way I can make myself share it.
It's in .doc format because .txt was messing up my word wrapping. I think that's a pretty universal format, but I'm only really familiar with Windows OSs, so let me know if there's a problem.
Comments and critiques welcome! But I'd mostly like to see more stories.
Woo that's good . I look forward to reading more as you write it. Hmm...I might start a little DM story myself...that's something I've not done before. >:)
Hey, I like it! A good start. My only comment would be that the language is very modern and isn't really how I expect people from a medieaval time would speak. I can understand making that choice though; it's easier for a modern audience to read.
You've reminded me that my Conflux 2 Quest of Legend remains languishing on my hard drive. Once I've finished helping Zyx withe the latest version on Conflux 2, I'll revisit it and finish it.
I'd hate to hijack this thread, but for those who are interested, you can find the start here:
Ah, the link works again...a promising start, a shame it just ends really! Carry on!
I don't think the language is too modern, the pacing is right.
Personally, I don't mind for normal things myself as it removes a nassle of trying to twist sentences into the mode. And for my 'novel' it's actually a conscious choice to not make it archaic, I prefered to think that characters aren't speaking englsih at all - it's like a translation, and s othere fore you can use as modern or contracted as befits the mode of speech being employed at the time.
Anyway, I'm glad you remembering about your own story Gambit! That needs continued too! And despite my preferences for writing, I'm impressed you managed to get the mode of speech how you did!
If you follow the links above to cows site there was a repository of some suggetsed backstories for characters, and on the creative writing threads there are also a few story threads. I think I had one or two, a discworld fan-fic and a prologue/short story for one of cows drawings.
Yeah, I agree that the language is a bit modern, but thats to help keep me sane while writing it. I plan on writing more when I find time, but I should have been doing homework when I was writing that.
Don't worry, Gambit, hijack away. I'm hoping to see a lot of stories in this thread.
This reminds me of back at school when we had to produce a piece of fiction for our GCSE English assessment. Didn't quite understand the concept of plagiarism when I was 15, but produced a little story on the characters of Dm which got myself a nice A grade!
It would only have been plagiarism if you'd retold the DM intro story wholesale. Writing a new story based on some of the characters is still a new unique work of your own. Well done on the A grade!
@Bloodfromstone: Another thing I really liked about your intro is Alex's reaction to Theron's choices. It gives a good solid background to his connection to his friends. You could do a lot with this in the forthcoming story: does Alex stay loyal to the team, or is he always holding back, unwilling to fight with strangers? Is he conflicted about his purpose or does he accept it with grace and honour? Interesting...
have you read the fan fictions on my other site. They or the stories of the lives of DM heros before their entrance into the Dungeon. Written by users in this comunity and edited by me to keep the consistant with eachother. The majority were written by Beowuuf and myself just because we were the only two brave enough to put our pen to paper.. or rather.. finger to keyboard as the case may be. It'd be nice to see the other heros finished off. It might inspire me to work on the portraits more.. I did restart Boris.. but he's only half done.
I've started my DM story now. Generally when I write my stories, though, I never really intend for anyone else to read them. But if anyone's interested, I can post them up a bit at a time in a thread here.
Go for it, Ameena! I rarely let anyone read my stories because I'm self-conscious about them, myself. But everyone here is very accepting and encouraging. I'd like to see what you churn out.
I was thinking of posting it up a level at a time (don't worry, I'm not gonna be giving the precise details of very little step they make down every corridor lol). They haven't got off Level 1 yet so nothing to post. I've been writing it during my spare time at college, when I go to the library to piss about on the computers and check all my forums and stuff. But I will be posting it eventually...I think I tend to be very detailed and perhaps a bit long-winded...but never mind. I think it looks good anyway .
i'm much more egotistical, i started doing snapshot passages for the RTC game i never made instead : )
i still ahve the start of another conflux story somewhere...
Installment number two! I'm afraid the quality is degraded as I write, but oh well!
This one is a little longer, I think, and a little more exciting. Hopefully you guys'll enjoy it.
Hey, getting interesting! I was going to be *really* picky and suggest that broccoli and cauliflower wouldn't have been cultivated in mediavel times, as I thought they were modern variations, but turns out they've been around for thousands of years!:
On another note, I always imagined Theron as a silent guiding spirit, subtly directing the party's actions; not directly interacting with them. It's an interesting take you have there, but perhaps unnecessary -- I'd prefer to have the team work out stuff themselves than have exposition from an extra character.
Lucky me on the veggies. I certainly didn't do any research.
As far as Theron is concerned, yeah, I always assumed he was supposed to be an unseen presence, but I took this route because I thought it would make things more interesting. Plus I liked Theron from the little intro in the manual...
i only got to read half of it at home this monring...keep it up! i must admit when it's slavish to the gameplay, for example determining party order or talking about how to use that exact torch at that exact part, i find it less interesting than when you go off in the more storylike tangents - like a mummy hanging fro ma portculus! that sort of bits i love
Finsihed the rest ...same opinion, i don't like the obvious mechanics of gameplay and strategy transposed into the writing, but i do like everything else. I was also worried that Alex seemed to have lost the worry of his previous party, but I see the effect is still in the background.
Nice thoughts about hwo the chanpions would feel - p[art of a hero feelign invulnerable or simply guided by confidence in their abilities, but they all now face the spectre of their own mortality...
I also like how you are handling magic in the story - interesting intepretation!
Please keep it up, it's both enjoyable and also inspiring me to visit a story I had never thought to expand upon in anything but a dungeon!
Cool, look forward to reading more of it . Omg the way your chars do magic is pretty similar to the way I'm gonna have mine do it...I promise I'm not pinching your idea, but that was what I came up with too lol. My story still hasn't got off Level 1, but they're getting there...I'm referring to maps in the Adventurer's Handbook so I know roughly what they're gonna be facing and in what order...I suppose it'll be interesting to see how our two stories end up, especially as we've both used Hissssa. Yours is already very different from mine, hehe .
I've been trying to keep the game mechanics to a minimum, but they'll show up every now and again. I'll keep an eye out for them next entry. Sometimes they're intentional, like explaining the dungeon slowly getting harder and stuff, but I try to make them fit into the flow of the story. I'll see if I can do better on the next one.
Thanks for the compliment on the magic system. I've been having fun with it. And don't worry about be accusing you of pinching, Ameena. I'm sure our stories will be quite different. Of course there'll be similarities, though! They're based on the same game.
And don't worry, beowuuf, Alex isn't going to forget about his old friends. He might have gotten caught up in some adrenaline and temporarily let it slip his mind, but he's a loyal bugger.
In the book he is a mere apprentice, a callow youth while obviously enthusiastic...ok, maybe a bit harsh, but i iimagine him experienced and confident in magic, especially around villagers, but to put him sudden;y in charge of a party....
I would have imagined him to be much less sure - unless he has been spending days walking around the hall of champions, then he's gone from the shock of what has happened to him, what has been happening in his absense, and worry over the people he knew, the grey lord and his girlfriend to this confident person who somehow knows chaos and the dungeon and good adventuring tactics. i would also magine him to be a little more earnest abotu the threat of chaos...maybe saying obvious stuff, but really pushing them when they stop for rest, or get entranced tryign to get a good weapon or money or soemthing...
he will have gained some insight looking at twenty four stories of champions, but i would have still imagined him as someone trying to sound leadery and confident, but not able to hide the inexperience nor - for example i can't iomagien him determining party order. I imagine the champions, if he is a visible entity, would have treated him slightly suspiciously (wouldn't it be just another chaos trick to sent the'bumbling' ghost/youth to free them...could he even be chaos...) and i imagine his mind working out puzzles in later areas being the thing that earns him trust and respect from the quick mind of alex and the warriors, whereas they might be wary of his advise or ignore it, then only later realise that he was right sometimes and isn't stupid, just not in his element...
anyway, that was how i would have played him, but then again i'm not writing it : )
I kind of agree with Gambit and Beowuuf...I don't think he'd really be a "leader" as such...in fact if I were to include him it'd probably be as, like, a faint disembodied voice that they hear from time to time, something like that...I don't know the precise details of his situation, but from what I gather, he's an apprentice with not much magic who somehow awakens these four champs from their imprisonment in the mirrors and sets them forth on their quest. In your story, he seems to be more like a fifth champion who just can't touch anything. To me, he seems to be acting like a player. Someone playing the game, that is, and telling everyone what to do, etc. Seeing as he's a magic-user, I wouldn't be sure whether the melee-types would trust him...after all, what could a caster know about the tactics of hand-to-hand fighting? Unless, of course, they're the tolerant types who don't mind it...
But that's just what I think...
Hmm... All valid points, to be sure. I always assumed Theron was actually pretty competant from the story, he just wasn't at his best when he was shown. But there's little evidence towards this...
I think the champions (The ones in my story, at least) would be willing to follow his orders and such, as long as he didn't do something to prove himself not trustworthy. Except Alex, who is a bit more stubborn than the rest.
Anyway, glad to get the feedback. I definitely can see why my Theron isn't quite as believable to most as I'd have liked. But there's no turning back now (Seeing as how I hate revising), so you guys'll have to deal with him in future chapters.
Comparing Theron to the player - if I'm not mistaken, the original intent of the game creators (in making Theron) was to give the players someone to BE. Rather than being your four heroes, you (the guiding hand behind them) are given a name and a character too. It's an interesting idea, and that's how I've pictured it - Theron as the player, the player as Theron. So this is how BFS imagines his own involvement in his game? Dunno...
Personally, I'd do more of a guiding hand/guiding voice kind of thing, but BFS and I have already talked about our different interpretations of this and I think his is valid, if not exactly what I had in mind.
Haven't read the second story bit, though. I am a bad person!
Well, this isn't actually how I imagined my involvement in the game. Or even really how I assumed they intended Theron to be.... I just thought it'd be fun for the story.
