The Silly and once Christmas-y Choose Your Own Adventure

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:18 am

Ok, dunno if this will work, but did this on the Lone Wolf boards inspired by the DM christmas story funnily!

If everyone remembers the fun choose your own adventure gamebooks, or the Fighting Fantasy / Lone Wolf gamebooks, you have a story where at key points you can choose what happens in the story, turning to different sections.

The idea would be that each person writes a section. Each section can be as long or short as you like, and have decision points for someone else to then write.

This thread here will help keep a track of the sections written, the sections pending, and which new section numbers are available (plus any special events or items gained from previous sections)

It's probably best to only generate two decision points. It's probably best to take each section in order from the pending section list. It's probably also best to re-use old options rather than always create new ones. However, go as the mood takes you. Don't be afraid to create an ending section too ,where the story either ends positively, or more likely negatively with a death/failure.

Don't worry too much about the structure for now, let sections be as silly or sensible as you wish, and let's see how it goes. Once the story has run for the festive period, we can see how healthy it is, and craft a direction for an ending or set number of paragraphs.

All ready?

---------------------------------------------------------

1

The Grey Lord's champions (all 24 of them) met on a cold Winter's eve of Christmas. Tiggy had received a weird scroll, and had finally realised that trouble was brewing in Mount Anaias. Again.

On the scroll was wrote:H3lp I'm tRaPpEd on Level 14 (or thirteen if you are a programmer), plz hlp k thx bye YOUR FRIEND xoxoxoxox

They all stood looking at the impressive jet black double doors. "We have to rescue him!" said Tiggy.

"No we don't," said Boris, "it's obviously Lord Chaos! We should leave him be and go to the party we were invited."

"No, we need to be all heroic and rescue people who are in trouble! We can party later," said Tiggy

"Yeah, but, well, he's gone and gotten captured by the red dragon!" said Halk unconvinced, "You saw what Theron looked like when he gave you the scroll - he was all black and ugly looking! Like Gothmog!"

"Oi!" said Gothmog, "look, which would you rather - we go down to the bottom of a dungeon of insane creatures, and fight a huge firebreathing dragon, possible all get fried, just to locate Lord Chaos and fuse him back into the Grey Lord....or would you rather go to Lord Librasulus's ocelot stuffing party and have him glare at us until we can fuse him?"

"Big red dragon it is then!" said Zed brightly.

* * * *

The party arranged themselves into a sensible if squashed 6 across by 4 deep grid for party order. LEd by the six people who all thought they were in cahrge, backed up by the six nosy yet not very brave champions, with the six really cowardly champions nicely between them and the last six slow pokes who would act as fodder for any sneaky monsters.

However, they had no sooner arranged themselves and shuffled in than the door closed. Boris smugly cast a light spell, Gothmog even more smugly cast a bigger light spell, and after a while it was up to nabi to cast a darkness spell before everyone's retinas were burned out.

"The Grey Lord switched to RTC rules last year," said the prophet slapping Gothmog on the back of the head.

The party shuffled forwards again, but it was not long before they faced their first challenge - an opening closed by a push button portcullis. Infront of it was a plain looking if inviting chest - a wooden one to clarify, incase you thought we're starting the Syra innuendo early.

What should the party do?

Open the chest? Go to 2
Chest the opening? Go to 3
Stop being silly and open the portcullis? Go to 4

Joramun · Post by **Joramun** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:18 am

2

Stamm jumps in and decides to open the chest.
A dwarf wouldn't miss an occasion to get a treasure for himself, would he ?

Unfortunately, the chest only contains a cheese, a baguette (you know, bread) and a scroll.

The scroll says :
"Htee Trouy Krae Blli Wuo Ye Seeh Ceht Teat Onod"

Stamm, disappointed, throws the scroll and the hard piece of cheese in Linflas' face :
"Darn, I bet this is stupid elvish !"
Linflas is stunned by the cheese and finds no sharp reply to return, but his scornful look at the dwarven being says all that's on his mind.
Moreover, it's not written in elvish at all.
This message looks rather like cheesy orcish than something else.

Mophus, trying to solve the situation, makes a proposal :

"Replay the scene :" Go to 2
"Let's keep any of the items and go on through the portcullis." Go to 4
"I'll eat this cheese immediatly !" Go to 5

Post by **Ameena** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:16 am

5

"I'll eat this cheese immediately!" proclaims Mophus, holding said dairy product before him. He opens his mouth wide (which, for him, is an easy feat, though opening it wide enough to get the cheese between his big scary teeth is a little trickier) and chomps down on the cheese.
A loud cracking sound, followed by a tinkling as of broken glass, is heard.
All turn to look at Mophus. Half the adventurers burst out laughing (whether with relief or sheer humour and enjoyment at the situation), while the others are still craning their necks to try and see around the laughing people in order to work out what all the fuss is about.
Standing amid the no-longer-quite-so-white-and-sparkling remains of his terrifying teeth, Mophus wears a blatant look of shock as he stands there with the unharmed chunk of very-very-very hard cheese still sticking out of his mouth.
"Ohh, ssshhucckk..." he mumbles around it.
Once the laugher has (mostly) died down, the adventurers decide they should figure out what to do now.

Try to fix Mophus's teeth (by whatever means) - Go to 6
Sod it and go through the portcullis now (after deciding which, if any, items to take) - Go to 4

Post by **Gambit37** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:50 pm

3

"Chest the opening?" questioned Leif. "What kind of option is that?"

Alex eyed the opening carefully. It wasn't an opening at all, due to the rather large and very heavy portcullis obstructing the way. "I think," he said carefully, "that it means the stupidest, uh, sorry, the strongest of us is supposed to use brute force to open that gate. You know, by running up to it and bashing it with their shoulder." He looked wistfully at Syra. "Or their chest."

Halk had stepped up on hearing "strongest" and barged everyone out of the way. "Stand back!" he said in a deep, theatrical manner sounding surprisingly like Dr. Lucian Sanchez from the Darkplace Hospital, or the Pished RoboCop Balloon Saver. Thundering forward, he gave an ear splitting battle cry and ran headlong into the unforgiving metal gate. Everyone winced. Then giggled. Then laughed until they all had glittery tears streaming down their faces; some let out a little wee.

Halk slowly pulled himself off the ground. His helmet was dented, his sword bent (oooh, camp!) and he now had a long series of red bruises across his chest and face that looked remarkably like he had just run deliberately into a portcullis. He looked around, and hefted his... loincloth. "Pah. It's not so tough. I can try again."

Linflas and Gothmog exchanged a knowing look and glanced quickly over at the button by the portcullis. "Shall we tell him?" Linflas smirked, "or let him entertain us again?"

Watch Halk make a tit of himself again (go to 3)
Open the portcullis (go to 4)
Open the portcullis while Halk is charging it and watch the comedy result? (go to 7)

Christopher · Post by **Christopher** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:30 pm

7

Gothmog grimaced, "We really need to be going."

Before Linflas could convince Gothmog, Halk had already built up another head of steam and charged again. Linflas reflexivly smakced the button, dismissing Gothmog's caution and prepared for another good laugh.

Halk was on his way and heard a strange, yet familiar sound. He looked up in time to see the bottom of the gate eye level. He smacked an uncovered part of his forhead into the gate and flailed his arms as he lost his balance. He ended up almost entirely through the portcullis before he fell to the ground. During his wild flailing, he managed to push the button and the gate came crashing down, in pauses, onto his neck. Everybody was too busy laughing to notice that all of Halk's flesh had disappeared from his body. There was no sign of entrails either. Just bones, some fur, and a club (what happened to his backpack, or quiver, or pouch?)

As the laughing died down, they all looked down and gasped. Wuuf had noticed an altar of rebirth at the entrance of the dungeon and decided to speak up.

Drag Halk's remains back to the beginning (go to 8)
Take his remains along and hope for another altar further along (go to 9)
Leave his remains there and remember to pick them up on the way out (go to 10)

Post by **Gambit37** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:06 pm

8

After some discussion, the group decided it wasn't fair to let Halk's Darwin Awards entry scupper their numbers so early on. Begrudgingly, they collected his possessions as Leif hefted the recently exposed bones of their most stupid companion and they made their way back towards the entrance. There, they placed Halk's bones on the Altar of Rebirth and within a flash, he was standing before them again, looking a little bewildered. Naked too.

Nabi handed Halk his loincloth. "Cover up, man, you're scaring the ladies." As Halk dressed, the team regrouped and they made their way back to the portcullis.

Now turn to 4.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:14 pm

4

With many a clanking nashing grinding noise, the portcullis slowly opens. Nabi is poked awake after falling asleep waiting, Syra and Chani both stay well awake so not to give Stamm a poking excuse.

The party walk forward determinedly, and then all 'ooph' as they realise that they have walked sideways due to mis-mapped keys in the config file. Nabi falls asleep again while you, the reader, go and change the config file. He is poked awake again, and happily the whole party then walk forward...

"Oh bum," says Leif the apparently not so valiant from the second to last row, "apparently I've stepped on a switch"

The portcullis comes crashing down, missing the rear of the party (well, except for Hissssa's tail, but he won't notice and will grow another one once he pulls the first off walking forward)

"Oh that's just typical!" says Gothmog, thankful it wasn't him, "now what?"

Well, now what?

Should the party ignore the switch and carry on? Go to 11
Or should the party stay still and look and listen for traps and things? Go to 12

Post by **Gambit37** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:40 pm

12

They stand around, the silence deafening. Nothing happens. Until Tiggy squealed: "I think we should test our Luck!"

The party look at her. "What are you on about, midget?" scorns Stamm, ironically.

"We have to test our luck! Look, we have a luck score right? We roll two dice and if the value of the dice is lower than our luck, then we're lucky and nothing happens to us. If it's higher, some trap will get sprung and we all come to a sticky end."

"Luck score?" Nabi said doubtfully, "How do you know about this?"

Tiggy faltered. "Umm. I read it in a... book. Anyway, who has some dice?" Wu Tse, who was always a bit of a gambler, had a whole bag of small bone dice and handed Tiggy two of them. Tiggy looked at something in her backpack and shouted to the group: "Our luck score is 9!" Just as she was about to throw the dice against the wall, Wuuf growled at the group: "Hang on. What if we DON'T test our luck? What happens then?"

If you test your luck and are unlucky, turn to 13
If you test your luck and are lucky, turn to 14
If you decide not to test your luck, go to 12.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:57 pm

13

Ironically, the fact you are turning to section 13 after being unlucky is not a bad thing. The unluckiness of this roll is like the one in Fighting Fantasy #42, "Black Vein Prophecy" where you had to be unlucky in order to be lucky enough to get the thing you needed to complete the book. Bad game design? Pshah! More like cheater detection!

So, the party come to a sticky end - a Couatl sneezes violently and snottily on the whole front row.

"Ssssssssssssssssorry!" sasy the creature apologetically, using one huge wing to wipe it's nose, "asssss luck would have it, my vic vapo-rub inhaler jussssssst ran out jusssssssst now so I can't attack you. Ssssssssorry again!"

If you wish to point out vapo-run should be rubbed on, turn to 15
If you think that might not be the wisest move, carry onwards quickly. Turn to 16

Post by **Sophia** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 8:06 pm

Mirror Universe 12

"Um.. nothing?" Tiggy remarked, scratching her head.

"So, if we don't test our luck, nothing will happen. If we test our luck, nothing might happen, or something bad might happen. Do you see the logic of why this is a bad thing?" asked Chani.

"Um..."

"Right."

Proceed to 11!

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:58 pm

6

Imaginatively the least imaginative character, Zed, sliced open the baguette, applied some of Hissssa's fang juices inside, rubbed a little bit of Elija's special ointment on the surface and then asked Gothmog to breathe on the now effervescing dough. Within an instant it was all shoved into Mophus' mouth, and splinters of wood stuck into his gums.

"It works!" shouted Zed.
"It mph mphrr mphhhrrs!!!!" muffled Mophus.

Now go to 4 minus your cheese, bread and any bad teeth Mophus may have had.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:31 am

9

"Actually, I'm not quite dead," said Halk's skeletal remains.

"Hush you," said Eliyah, who'd drawn the shortest straw to carry the barbarian, "you aren't fooling anyone"

"Infact, I could walk if you like," said HAlk's remains, makign everyone shudder. Weren't they supposed to attack animated skeletons?

"Well, you know, if you need to rest at any point if you get tired - you know, without any muscle strength to speak of...need to be carried for a while, shoved in a sack out of our sight...just yell"

"What?" said Halk, deaf without any ears.

"Nevermind" said everyone shuddering, and carried on.

Turn to 4

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 11:06 am

10

Taking pity on our corpse, Daroou the least observent of our champions, picked up Halk's remains and carefully deposited them in a moss lined alcove nearby. Not noticing the partially covered RAR symbol situated above the niche was a big mistake.

FSSZZZTT --- <<BANG>>

Halk's remains, then instantly reanimated into a skeletal form! "Ohhhhh! Noooo!" squealed many of our champions, "Hurrah!" shouted Gothmog who's vision was not optimised on meat based decisions.

Go to 9

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:06 pm

11

They advance down the gloomy corridor, hearing strange shuffling and squealing sounds from behind the old, grey, damp walls. Linflas and Stamm were up ahead, striding purposefully, while the rest of the group followed them a pace or two behind.

"Um. Guys?" asked Leif. "I trod on that switch? Shouldn't we be careful?"

Syra, who until now had been rather silent, turned and placed her finger to her lips. "Shhhhhhh. We're ignoring it remember? "

"Oh yes! Of course." replied Leif, "We must obviously take heed of the Unknown Influencer who makes decisions on our behalf. I mean, I was worrried that stepping on a switch might have opened up a pit or someth... aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh......"

Leif's screams faded quickly as he dropped into the dank pit that had opened beneath him. Syra turned, the rest of the team moving ahead, oblivious to the valiant Viking's vacation. "Uh... Leif?" she whispered into the darkness. "You OK?". From the depths came a weary voice. "I think I'm OK.... but it's a bit wet and there's something.. alive down here! Help!" Suddenly his voice took on a note of panic and strange thrashing noises could be heard, followed by the clash of metal, then some ripping and tearing a finally a long, loud burp. Syra strained to hear more. It was silent.

She turned and ran back to the group. "Hey! I think Leif's in trouble! We need to help him!" Nabi , Gothmog and Linflas looked at each other dubiously. Stamm sighed, "Already? OK, who wants to help and who wants to press on?" Everyone started to chatter about their options.

If you want to return to the pit to help Leif, go to 17.
To press on and ignore his plight, turn to 18.

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:22 pm

14

"We got lucky!" shouted Wu Tse, who was seen throttling an old 'Lucky Rabbit's Foot' *. Just as predicted, nothing happened to our champions **, and silence reigned in the dungeon.

Turn to 16

* Not for the rabbit 5 years ago, but still managed to get away on crutches.
** Meanwhile somewhere in another continent said rabbit just ran out of what little luck he had, and got his neck broken by a hungry Barbarian.

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:00 pm

15

Gando, momentarily surprised by the flying snake's speech abilities, offered his wisdom. "O great Snake, your nose juice may be better controlled by the rubbing of the mentho-smear-jizz onto your body."

The Couatl looked at him, confused. "Uhhhh. Oh, OK, thankssssssssss yous, mini wizssssard type perssssssssson." It flapped it's great wings and tried to grab the Vic's from a pouch around its neck, but seemed to be having trouble. It's body wasn't made for such contortions.

"You moron!" squeaked Tiggy at Gando, "It'll eat us for sure now you gave it the Vic's knowledge! Quick, we'd better go!" So with the Couatl distracted with it's search for winter medication, the group ran off down the passage.

Turn to 16

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:27 pm

16

After a few simple puzzles involving finding keys and opening doors, the group came upon a wider room around thirty feet square. On the far side could be seen two gates, one behind the other, but the path there appeared to be trapped: nine large pressure plates occupied the room, in a manner that made it impossible to reach the gates without standing on them.

"Bugger!" exclaimed Boris, who until now had been hiding under Syra's skirt. "How do we do this puzzle again? I never remember it!" Syra yelped and tripped forward, until now unaware that Boris had been keeping warm between her legs. She pushed him away. "Oooh, you brute! Get out of there, it's private!"

Annoyed by their bickering, Mophus surveyed the area. He grinned, which may or may not have been a pretty sight, and shouted to everyone: "It's easy, we go forward, right, forward, forward, left -- by the time we get there, both gates will be open."

"No," said Stamm adamantly, "It's one step forward, one back, then just keep going forward."

"You're both wrong," sighed Chani, "It's forward, left, forward, right, forward."

Bickering started between them all as to who was right. But you, dear reader, get the casting vote. Who has the correct sequence to cross the room?

Mophus (turn to 19)
Stamm (turn to 20)
Chani (turn to 21)

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 1:57 pm

18

"We press on!" suggested Tiggy, and heroically pushed her way to the front of the group using her small chest. They all advanced, but Syra had doubts. Quickly, she returned back to the gloom and attached a grapple to the end of a rope. Throwing it into the depths of the pit she unknowingly impaled a pit-serpent's tail to the base, ejecting a distraught Leif from it's stomach.

Syra ran back to her cold hearted group of adventurers, running as fast as she could, while trailing the rope behind her.

Run over now to section 16

Joramun · Post by **Joramun** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 2:35 pm

17

The party, distraught by Leif's fall, presses around the pit and tries to think about a solution.

A disquieting sound of chewing comes from below...

Zed throws a torch down in the pit to light the depth, but Chani remarks that it's useless because there's no way to look down with the clunky old DM interface.
Boris proposes to upgrade DM to the new "Entombed" 3D open GL engine. Hissssa hisses, probably in discontent.
Iaido asks if DM Nexus wouldn't be enough to have the damn 3D view, but Tiggy says most of the party doesn't read Japanese, so they would be stuck by the first riddle or problem with the interface.

Sonja loses patience and jumps down to see for herself. A low sounds mark her fall.

Azizi calls : "so, how is it down there ?". No answer, the chewing and mawing sound continues.

She decides to jump down...

The situation is getting really awful as each new member jumps down to save his friend :
Leif, Sonja, Azizi, Hawk, Elijah, Mophus, Nabi, Wuuf, Daroou, Hissssa, Skeletal Halk, Stamm, Boris, Gothmog, Gando, Tiggy, Syra, Linflas, Iaido, Zed, Leyla, Chani, Wutse are all down the pit in an unknown situation.

In the end, only the shy Alex didn't jump down.

Now is the time for choice :
Will Alex attach a rope to the WALLITEM_RING on the north wall : Go to 22
Will you update to a newer clone or version of your clone : Go to 1 and replay the adventure.
Will Alex continue the adventure alone : start a new thread called "Alex Ander's Lonely Adventures"

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 4:57 pm

22

Alex quickly grabbed the end of Syra's rope and tied it to a handy ring set in the wall. He peered over the edge of the pit, unaware he was contradicting the limits of the game engine and powering game development into the next generation.

The feeble light from Zed's torch illuminated the sorry bunch. They were all in a heap, some slightly more conscious than others. Underneath the pile, Alex could just make out Leif's armour and what looked like the stump of a leg. "Come on you lot, stop farting about" he said with a new found confidence. "Grab the rope and pull yourselves up. And don't forget Leif, the poor bugger!"

One by one they managed to climb out of the pit. Stamm was last and followed Syra up the rope, spending the entire climb looking up her skirt, unaware that Leif had been left behind. Again.

Alex shouted at him "I said don't forget Leif!". Stamm glared at him, but eager not to get in a fight so early on, climbed back down, threw Leif's limp body over his shoulder and climbed back up the rope.

With all the team gathered, Stamm clambered over the edge and gingerly laid Leif on the hard cobbles. Leif stirred and looked up at them all. He pulled himself up straighter and managed to speak before falling into a deep sleep: "Bally thing took my foot for his lunch!". With Leif now comatose from his ordeal, Mophus took the opportunity to cast some healing, despite not having found the runes yet, and healed Leif's foot rather well. He didn't have the energy to do much more than stop the bleeding, but he was fairly sure a new foot would grow back in time. Fairly.

The group rested and after a while decided it was best to press on. Leif was carried between Hissssa and Daroou who took turns making jokes about walking sticks.

Turn to 16

Post by **Sophia** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 8:08 pm

19

The party finally agreed upon following Mophus' suggested course of action. If he was smiling that much, he clearly was quite happy about it, so he was probably right.

Unfortunately, Daroou had a bit of difficulty telling left from right, and soon the party was all disoriented, and standing in front of a gate still quite closed.

"Well, we could retrace our steps and try it again, " Syra suggested.

"I still say my way would have worked," Stamm grumbled.

"Maybe the rest of you should wait here, and I'll try the different triggers and see if I can't open it. Then you can run through, and use Halk to keep the door open as I quickly make my way back," Chani offered.

Halk did not protest, oddly enough.

"Or we could just open the door the easy way," Gothmog mused, opening his cloak slightly to show a small bottle filled with a volatile red liquid and a FUL rune on the side.

How shall they proceed?
Try Stamm's way after all? Turn to 20
Everyone tries it again? Turn to 23
Use Halk to keep the door open? Turn to 24
Use the Ful Bomb? Turn to 25

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 8:25 pm

24

Is Halk currently missing his flesh?

Yes, he's looking a little under nourished and rather bony: Turn to 26
No, he's as ugly as usual: Turn to 27

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 8:37 pm

26

Halk and 95% of our champions wedged themselves in the gate way, attempting to keep all the weight off the floor, and Chani backed up.

Sure enough, a click, a grinding of cogs, and the weighty portcullis started to creak it's way up the runners. When it reached the top, Halk jumped down, pushed his bony fists into each door runner, and shouted "Go!".

Chani sprinted forward and the portcullis came down. Unfortunately Halk's reasoning was wrong, and his head was higher up than his fists, and a bottom spike of the door crashed through his boney skull. "Come on Chani!", he continued, while scraping clean the back of his teeth with the enormous toothpick cum portcullis.

Now escape with both Chani and the party to 28.

Post by **Sophia** » Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:32 pm

25

Gothmog smirked, or, well, he would've if you could see his face, but from the gleam in his glowing red eyes, he definitely smirked. He threw the Ful Bomb at the closed portcullis, and soon a thundering explosion filled the hall. Smoke and bits of metal poured out of the corridor, and when it cleared, there was a large hole blown through the gate.

"Where did you learn how to do THAT?" asked Gando. "I thought the secret to making Ful Bombs was lost..."

"I'm imported from an early beta," replied Gothmog. "Things were different back then."

"Wow, that's amazing," Syra mused.

"It has its advantages... and disadvantages." Gothmog snarled a bit. He didn't seem to want to talk about that.

After a bit more wandering, the party came upon a fountain. The water seemed to look fairly clear and good, and they decided they were getting a bit thirsty. Each member took their turn to drink from the fountain... and then Gothmog stepped up. He stood around, looked at the fountain for a while, and then walked away. "Well that's done. Where to now?"

"You didn't drink any," Gando noticed.

"I, uh.." Gothmog shook his head. "I don't like the looks of that fountain. Anyone got a flask or a waterskin I can borrow?"

"Come on, no time for that. Just lean down there, cup some water in your hands, and drink," Gando offered.

Gothmog just grumbled softly.

"What's wrong?" Syra inquired.

Gothmog mumbled, "I... I can't. That's... one of those things I was telling you about. I need a flask or a waterskin. I can't drink straight from a fountain."

What to do with Gothmog?
Eh, he's not that thirsty. Go on to 28.
Hmm, time to look for a flask, in 29.

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 3:36 pm

27

Halk suggested holding everyone on his shoulders, with his feet wide apart (Van Damm style) over the pressure plate in front of the door. Chani withdrew to the back of the room, ready to pounce on an unsuspecting pressure plate.

"Ready!" shouted Chani, nervous with anticipation (and from being physically ripped from the same square she's shared with the other champions for over thousands of hours). The rest of our happy team climbed on top of Halk creating an inverse human(ish) pyramid.

"Grrrr Go!" shouted a profusely sweating Halk, and Chani stepped forward. Sure enough with the grinding of cogs and a squeaking of metal on stone, our portcullis opened up. Halk's strained muscles could take no more and he pounced into the opening but the combination of being too quick and the sheer number of bodies on top hindered his advance. He managed to get a gauntlet under the door but it was useless. "Halk was premature!" shouted a falling Elija, "Not an un common occurence", noted an upside down Syra. "Should have listened to me!" shouted a disgusted Stamm, who had landed in Darouu's groinal region.

Try Stamm's way? Turn to 20
Try something else in the room? Turn to 23

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:02 am

23

The group tried all the options (well, except Stamm's, obviously, someone kept treading on his foot or elbowing him in the face whenever he was going to stop the flurry of activity to voice his answer).

However, there was simply nothing else to be done, and the group grew dispirited. Stamm rolled his eyes, and opened his mouth.

"I guess that's that then," said Hawk the pirate...umm, slayer...umm, I mean...fearless. "Well just have to go through the other corridor then."

Stamm's mouth was still open at being interrupted, and now so was everyone else's. They stared at him as if he was insane. They then noticed that, sure enough, this room actually had a second open exit. They had just not noticed it, big as it was, since it was not normally there. They then tried to look at themselves as if they were going insane, which was quite hard to do and twenty two sets of eyes (or twenty one and some empty eye sockets) all crossed was a strange sight (especially if Halk has eye sockets). This was why Stamm did not join them, instead looking around in his pack to see if he'd packed the large quantities of mulled wine he now wished to consume at the stupidity of the group. Hawk felt left out, and tried to cross his eyes to look backwards into his pack and see if he had any wine too.

"Yes, well noticed that man," said Tiggy, patting him on the arm - or would have if she wasn't so short and actually a little bit of a perv. It was nonetheless appreciated.

"Thanks, that's why they call me fearless!" said Hawk proudly uncrossing his aching eyes.

Everyone gave Hawk another look, then themselves another look while trying to work it out, then deciced it was too much effort to correct the man and patted him in various places. After all, he was quite muscular and pirate-y looking. Damn that man!

If it is all too much for you too, then go to the wine shop yourself.
Don't be selfish, pick Stamm something up while you are there. He likes a Merlot.

Otherwise, steer the party onwards down this new, potential short/fatal corridor. Go to 30 you obstinate person you.
Stamm was right! We even told you! Don't come crying to us if this ends badly.

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:04 am

21

It had to be said that Chani was normally right with the tricky puzzles. Normally. However she suffered from one incurable weakness. She spoke 3 languages, had a degree in Law*, but she still didn't know her 'left' from her 'right'.

They all waited for her command. "It's forward!" she ordered, and all of our 4X6 champions shuffled forward onto the pressure pad. The portcullis rumbled up, but these guys were true veterans and knew that the thing would be coming down again. Indeed, Elija addressed his helmet in antipation for a portcullis incurred headache.

Then came the faux pas. "Left!" she shouted, and everyone jumped left except for Chani who went right. The portcullis went down, up, then jarred half way up which a CRAAACK. Then a deep hole in the wall appeared where a cog was jettisoned across the room. "Ye broke it!" shouted Hawk. "Back to the start." The portcullis rumbled down again.

"MY way.", sniffed Stamm. "Lets try something else?" suggested Chani. "We could go through the new opening?" suggested Tiggy.

Try Stamm's way? Turn to 20
Try something else in the room? Turn to 23
Try the new hole in wall 30

* Minotaur law, which was still in a pretty basic form and involved lots of clubbing over the head.

Post by **Sophia** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:33 pm

29

"Well, there has to be a flask somewhere around here," Gando remarked, glancing around. "Anyone got a flask?"

"I've got a rock," Daroou offered.

"What good would a--" Gando then realized that were was no point in this, and just shrugged, instead taking the rock. "Thanks." He tossed it in the corner when Daroou wasn't looking.

"I think we can get a flask over here," Chani said as she approached an ornate alcove in the wall, with a scroll in it.

"I don't see any flasks."

Chani unrolled the scroll, "No, in order to get a flask, first, we have to find a Ven Egg, a bottle of Sar Wine, a box of Ra-men noodles, a candle made out of Ir Wax, and a Vi Ag Ra spell."

"Ag? I've never heard of that rune," Nabi said thoughtfully.

"Ooh, a new spell!" Mophus said. "Mon Vi Ag Ra!" At that very instant, his grin grew much bigger. After a moment, Tiggy slid a little closer, grinning a bit too.

Stamm shook his head. "We need to do all that crap just to get a flask? Why not just find this bottle of wine, dump out the wine, and use the bottle as a flask. It's got to be close enough."

Chani replied, "We don't know if the bottle will be clean and pure, and of the right quality. If we get a proper flask, we'll not just be able to use it for water, but for making potions, too. There are strict requirements for the kinds of flasks usable for potion making, after all. Besides, I think Mophus has one of our requirements already."

Figure out what's up with Mophus? Go to 31
Look for the wine bottle? Go to 32
Syra accidentally casts an Um Oh Ew spell? Go to 33

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:41 pm

33

Syra cast the spell, unfortunately for her she stupidly asked Stamm for help with the unfamilar and difficult invocation. The rest of the group suspected that the spell probably didn't need so much annunciation, which required her chest to be thrust forward. Also, the pole dancing was probably superfluous.

However, the spell worked, unfortunately for Mophus. His grin faded. So did Toggy's

"Umm.." said Mophus.

"Oh. Ewww" said Tiggy. She then patted Mophus's arm. "Don't worry about it," she said reassuringly, "it happens to alot of men you know, and I can get my dress cleaned up. And I'm sure you can get it filled right back up again in no time. "

Mophus sadly shook his head, and lifted up the empty wine bottle. "I was saving that for a special occasion!" sniffed Mophus, "it was a Merlot!"

Stamm stopped watching Syra's pole dancing antics, sudden;y hearing what Mophus said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried, falling to the floor. Syra sighed, realising the chest thrusting and pole danceing did not seem to be enough to cure poor Stamm if his misery. She put the wooden box down, thanked Adamo for his italian dance moves, then soundly clubbed Stamm on the head to shut him up.

"Umm, so, did you want to try this flask?" asked Mophus, holding aloft the green wine stained glass bottle.

If Chani should chance her arm with Mophus's Merlot bottle, go to 34
If the idea seems like sheer madness and lunacy, look for the Sar wine bottle instead. Go to 32

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:08 am

20

Stamm was adamant that everyone was going to do this properly, and no hilarious antics were to occur. After a 15 minute discourse over 'right, left and when to jump forward' and getting Leyla's rope to tie a big lassoo around the champions to keep them all together they were ready. He'd done this hundreds of times, although sometimes it was kind of accidental how he got through. What happended next he'd never experienced, though.

True enough the portcullis opened and closed in front of them as they stepped up to the grating. "Now remember, it's one step forward, one back, then just keep going forward." said Stamm, in a somewhat tired manner.

Forward, the portcullis dropped.

Back again, the portcullis did nothing.

Forward, the portcullis heaved up.

Then a blue trolin stepped out of the gloom, of the quasi-ambidextrous variety*.

Our champions panicked. Normally they would salivate at the prospect of some sword-arm exercise but you see all 48 of their hands were tied down by the rope wrapped around them, attempting to keep them together. The trolin hugrily advanced, club raised above his head.

It was then Alex shouted "Ninja dudes to the front!". Alex, Leyla, Wuuf and Azizi all shuffled and pushed their way to the front line, then Nabi the Prophet foresaw what was forecoming and shouted out the Can-Can.

The Troblin's last memories would be one of kicking, screaming, whooping, feet-in-the-face and Nabi shouting "La la la-la-la Laa Laa la-la-la Laa Laa."

Now move on past the open portcullis to 28

* He's left handed, apart from when he faces to the left, then the club changes hands. Do you see it?