59
Some trolin teenagers closeby are practising their new garage band sound, with some some drums, trumpets and a magical guitar.
The resulting strains of the groovy go-get-em tune inspires Hawk, Daroou, Zed and howlin' mad wu-tse (dressing up as a girl dressed up as a man, crazy bastard)
Zed rips off his false moustache to reveal his boyishly handsome visage and grabs a hammer, Hawk goes and gets some smoked glass and yells at howlin' mad wu-tse to get out of the way so he can weld stuff, daroou takes off his costume head and chomps on a cigar, and before you can say 'der da der der, der der der, dana na na na na, der da der der der *bum bum*' they had created a battletank with screamer slice firing cannon.
All the champions get in the tank, it turns around, and fires its cannon dramatically at the barracade, after first harmlessly shooting several hundred rounds of small rocks at all the gathering trolins who are incapacitated without any deaths.
After firing the cannon, the resulting explosion leaves one of Daroou's legs still intact, and a smoking cigar.
Sadly, the component parts were too close to being perfect to make a tank from. Now, if it had been some doors and a mouse and a kettle, the champions might have stood a chance of creating something.
Go back to 1 and try again you crazy fo'
The Silly and once Christmas-y Choose Your Own Adventure
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62
We have our 6 X 4 group of individuals cram towards the cart, with Wuuf scurrying underneath before-hand to knock out the wedges. All stop around the thing encircling it, with Daroou, Halk, Stamm and Azizi at the back.
"One!" All grasped the cart, then heaved backwards.
"Two!" With the trolins advancing, the cart moved forwards, then back.
"Three!" With the scraping of claws and hobnailed boots on the floor the cart lurched forward. The first row immediately jumped into the front of the cart, with the petite Tiggy suddenly in charge of steering it with some reins.
The cart picked up speed, with the distance between them and the trolins rapidly reducing. "Go! Go!" The last row of champions clambered into the back of the cart, with Azizi's legs flung up in the air due to a misjudged summersault.
The trolins stopped their advance, brains worked, wooden clubs were dropped and some trousers were soiled.
The cart accelerated, veered, then bumped over the first trolin to the collective cheering of our champions, and much congratulating and patting of Tiggy on the back started.
But more was to come, bounce along erratically to 63
We have our 6 X 4 group of individuals cram towards the cart, with Wuuf scurrying underneath before-hand to knock out the wedges. All stop around the thing encircling it, with Daroou, Halk, Stamm and Azizi at the back.
"One!" All grasped the cart, then heaved backwards.
"Two!" With the trolins advancing, the cart moved forwards, then back.
"Three!" With the scraping of claws and hobnailed boots on the floor the cart lurched forward. The first row immediately jumped into the front of the cart, with the petite Tiggy suddenly in charge of steering it with some reins.
The cart picked up speed, with the distance between them and the trolins rapidly reducing. "Go! Go!" The last row of champions clambered into the back of the cart, with Azizi's legs flung up in the air due to a misjudged summersault.
The trolins stopped their advance, brains worked, wooden clubs were dropped and some trousers were soiled.
The cart accelerated, veered, then bumped over the first trolin to the collective cheering of our champions, and much congratulating and patting of Tiggy on the back started.
But more was to come, bounce along erratically to 63
63
As the strains of the trolin garage band faded, but which seemed to be with more trumpets and be a rollicking beat, the cart carried on through many deep caverns filled with lava. Some people in another cart with red turbans tried to come close at one point on a parallel track, looking angry, then apologised for mistaking the party's identity and trundled off cursing someone called 'Cindy Anna Jones' or something.
The party soon grew bored, and and wondered where the cart was taking them. Tiggy then happily pointed out the cart seemed to simply be doing a huge loop. Gothmog helpfully pointed out Tiggy should shut her yap, that actually the cart was doing a big loop but going subtly upwards.
As if to show they weren't just doing the same loop over and over again, in the distance the party could suddenly spot a split in the track - points allowing it to go left (the points already being set to it) and right.
If the party should go with the flow, and go along the already set left track, go to 64
If the should instead hit the points to flip the track right (no Indy, he said left! Take the left tunnel Indy!), go to 65
If you don't want to decide, you just know the party are going to start arguing, fighting, upset the cart and tumble aaaaaaaaaall the way down to the bottom of the track and down the pit there. Go to 60
As the strains of the trolin garage band faded, but which seemed to be with more trumpets and be a rollicking beat, the cart carried on through many deep caverns filled with lava. Some people in another cart with red turbans tried to come close at one point on a parallel track, looking angry, then apologised for mistaking the party's identity and trundled off cursing someone called 'Cindy Anna Jones' or something.
The party soon grew bored, and and wondered where the cart was taking them. Tiggy then happily pointed out the cart seemed to simply be doing a huge loop. Gothmog helpfully pointed out Tiggy should shut her yap, that actually the cart was doing a big loop but going subtly upwards.
As if to show they weren't just doing the same loop over and over again, in the distance the party could suddenly spot a split in the track - points allowing it to go left (the points already being set to it) and right.
If the party should go with the flow, and go along the already set left track, go to 64
If the should instead hit the points to flip the track right (no Indy, he said left! Take the left tunnel Indy!), go to 65
If you don't want to decide, you just know the party are going to start arguing, fighting, upset the cart and tumble aaaaaaaaaall the way down to the bottom of the track and down the pit there. Go to 60
64
The horse cart (now effectively a mining cart stuck on rails!) rumbled
up to the intersection, with 95% of our party praying for good
maintanence of the railway track points and the other 5% going on
strike with a cup of coffee. Tiggy, who was about to change cart
direction, was shouted at by a happy Stamm "Ohhh go with the flow!",
with his beard waving in the blustery air (and possibly a small
multi-legged insect waving for help inside that).
We bounce, jump and swerve down the tracks now through the gloom and
past some muppets dressed as Fraggles. Swooping through a carelessly
placed waterfall over the track the party can see a chasim opening up
on their side with the other path obviously not for the faint of
heart. Trolins waving from stationary mining carts, rickety
scaffolding, and huge axes ominously swinging across the track.
Now loomed a big problem. "We need to lose weight!" shouted Tiggy,
pointing to a sudden incline in the track ahead, on part of a
ramshackle framework. In a defocation frenzy, our champions dropped
weight and threw out many backpack items and personal effects. While
Stamm wouldn't part with his axe, he'd certainly throw out Iaido who
was trying to pull it off him.
Choices!
* Don't drop anything else, AAAAAALLL items could be useful later on. 68
* Drop these 'useless' items, if you have them: hard cheese, a
baguette, green oblong pie, Merlot bottle, Bread, tinsel, fairy light,
a fluffy sheep, a box of gold baubles, a can of 3-in-1 easing oil, a
rubber duck, 6 packets of Polos and a rather large broad sword. 74
* Drop all of the above, plus all the contents of our parties
backpack, as defined in the encyclopedia. 66
* Drop the above plus all of their weapons! 67
The horse cart (now effectively a mining cart stuck on rails!) rumbled
up to the intersection, with 95% of our party praying for good
maintanence of the railway track points and the other 5% going on
strike with a cup of coffee. Tiggy, who was about to change cart
direction, was shouted at by a happy Stamm "Ohhh go with the flow!",
with his beard waving in the blustery air (and possibly a small
multi-legged insect waving for help inside that).
We bounce, jump and swerve down the tracks now through the gloom and
past some muppets dressed as Fraggles. Swooping through a carelessly
placed waterfall over the track the party can see a chasim opening up
on their side with the other path obviously not for the faint of
heart. Trolins waving from stationary mining carts, rickety
scaffolding, and huge axes ominously swinging across the track.
Now loomed a big problem. "We need to lose weight!" shouted Tiggy,
pointing to a sudden incline in the track ahead, on part of a
ramshackle framework. In a defocation frenzy, our champions dropped
weight and threw out many backpack items and personal effects. While
Stamm wouldn't part with his axe, he'd certainly throw out Iaido who
was trying to pull it off him.
Choices!
* Don't drop anything else, AAAAAALLL items could be useful later on. 68
* Drop these 'useless' items, if you have them: hard cheese, a
baguette, green oblong pie, Merlot bottle, Bread, tinsel, fairy light,
a fluffy sheep, a box of gold baubles, a can of 3-in-1 easing oil, a
rubber duck, 6 packets of Polos and a rather large broad sword. 74
* Drop all of the above, plus all the contents of our parties
backpack, as defined in the encyclopedia. 66
* Drop the above plus all of their weapons! 67
74
With apparently useless items thrown out of the cart we just make it
to the top of the track. A nice vista is revealed to our champions
yet something's wrong! Wooden beams creak and strain at the weight
with much swearing echoing around the chasm. This is when the fun
starts.
Toss a coin twice.
It comes up:
Two heads 72
Heads and Tails 69
Two tails 71
With apparently useless items thrown out of the cart we just make it
to the top of the track. A nice vista is revealed to our champions
yet something's wrong! Wooden beams creak and strain at the weight
with much swearing echoing around the chasm. This is when the fun
starts.
Toss a coin twice.
It comes up:
Two heads 72
Heads and Tails 69
Two tails 71
66
The contents of the rucksacks are emptied over the side of the wagon,
to the tears of many, but excluding side pockets and quivers happily
thought Linflas. Reaching the crest of the scaffolding reveals a
rather nice view of rock formations, the chasm and impending doom.
However the stucture lurches and there is a sound of the splintering
of beams!
Toss a coin twice.
It comes up:
Two heads 69
Heads and Tails 72
Two tails 71
The contents of the rucksacks are emptied over the side of the wagon,
to the tears of many, but excluding side pockets and quivers happily
thought Linflas. Reaching the crest of the scaffolding reveals a
rather nice view of rock formations, the chasm and impending doom.
However the stucture lurches and there is a sound of the splintering
of beams!
Toss a coin twice.
It comes up:
Two heads 69
Heads and Tails 72
Two tails 71
69
"DooOOoom!" someone shouts as the cart drops through the wooden
structure which then starts to fall about the party as well. "Is this
one of those never ending chasms?" inquired a screaming Boris, but
alas the contents of his skeleton was splattered over a large area
before either he or anyone else worked it out.
Go back to 1 and find a splatter-free finale to this sorry tale.
"DooOOoom!" someone shouts as the cart drops through the wooden
structure which then starts to fall about the party as well. "Is this
one of those never ending chasms?" inquired a screaming Boris, but
alas the contents of his skeleton was splattered over a large area
before either he or anyone else worked it out.
Go back to 1 and find a splatter-free finale to this sorry tale.
70
All the pushing in unison up the incline starts to shift dust off the beams, then a creaking starts. A wooden beam splintering is heard! Boris clutches his lucky rabbits foot, and wished that he should have thrown it's weight over the side instead. The scaffolding lurched to one side, and a fall, with the associated 'DM scream'(TM) is imminent.
Toss your lucky GOR coin again.
It comes up heads! Flip to 69
Oh, it's tails... Go to 71
All the pushing in unison up the incline starts to shift dust off the beams, then a creaking starts. A wooden beam splintering is heard! Boris clutches his lucky rabbits foot, and wished that he should have thrown it's weight over the side instead. The scaffolding lurched to one side, and a fall, with the associated 'DM scream'(TM) is imminent.
Toss your lucky GOR coin again.
It comes up heads! Flip to 69
Oh, it's tails... Go to 71
71
"We're falling!" shouts Gothmog as the wooden scaffolding lurches to
one side. With barely enough time to hold on, Linflas grabs onto the
metal rail still nailed to the structure, while another person grabs
onto his legs. This continues in a comedy chain of champions, each
one grabbing onto the legs of the other as they fall down. The wooden
beams below fall away leaving a somewhat extending Linflas.
Gritting his teeth, Linflas is determined with all of his eldar will
to hold on and let his friends climb over him. Alas his famous green
trousers(*) were not so tenacious and started to tear at the seams,
leaving the next person down to clamber for more loose material to
hold onto.
A gauntletted hand moved up and over so both of Linflas' survival and
reproductive instincts shouted at each other... Hard! He let go.
* They are what's known as an Elven Huke and had been in Linflas'
possession for about 600 years. While the design is famous for being
replete with small pockets, long lasting and hard wearing they are not
designed for holding 23 champions.
Fall down to 60
"We're falling!" shouts Gothmog as the wooden scaffolding lurches to
one side. With barely enough time to hold on, Linflas grabs onto the
metal rail still nailed to the structure, while another person grabs
onto his legs. This continues in a comedy chain of champions, each
one grabbing onto the legs of the other as they fall down. The wooden
beams below fall away leaving a somewhat extending Linflas.
Gritting his teeth, Linflas is determined with all of his eldar will
to hold on and let his friends climb over him. Alas his famous green
trousers(*) were not so tenacious and started to tear at the seams,
leaving the next person down to clamber for more loose material to
hold onto.
A gauntletted hand moved up and over so both of Linflas' survival and
reproductive instincts shouted at each other... Hard! He let go.
* They are what's known as an Elven Huke and had been in Linflas'
possession for about 600 years. While the design is famous for being
replete with small pockets, long lasting and hard wearing they are not
designed for holding 23 champions.
Fall down to 60
72
With an ominous groan the sctructure that they're riding on sinks and collapses behind them. Fortunately the wagon starts to pick up speed down the slope, as the noisy destuction follows closely behind in domino effect. "What we need is some kind of amalgam to hold this thing together!" shouted Wuuf. As soon as the word 'amalgam' emitted from his mouth 20 odd Zo-Kath-Ra incantations were instinctively mouthed in unison, and a huge clump of "stuff" dropped onto the track behind them, slicing through the structure and stopping the cascading destruction in it's track, so to speak.
Roll on down to 73
With an ominous groan the sctructure that they're riding on sinks and collapses behind them. Fortunately the wagon starts to pick up speed down the slope, as the noisy destuction follows closely behind in domino effect. "What we need is some kind of amalgam to hold this thing together!" shouted Wuuf. As soon as the word 'amalgam' emitted from his mouth 20 odd Zo-Kath-Ra incantations were instinctively mouthed in unison, and a huge clump of "stuff" dropped onto the track behind them, slicing through the structure and stopping the cascading destruction in it's track, so to speak.
Roll on down to 73
65
What do you think this is, Inidana Jones (I dunno why you would have thought that) or Speed? In real fantasy you need more than a slight incline to jump a huge gap no matter how inclined.
Oops, yes, the track ends pretty soon afterwards in a huge gap. Despite the slight incline of the track, carts filled with 24 heavy champions do what carts with 24 heavy champions do, which is fall in a pretty steep parabola
What should actually happen is that the party land bruised but alive below in the big pit areas. However, if these are the sort of choices you are goign to make it's probably best you just go and restart this adventure again as that pit isn't a nice pit.
Go back to 1
What do you think this is, Inidana Jones (I dunno why you would have thought that) or Speed? In real fantasy you need more than a slight incline to jump a huge gap no matter how inclined.
Oops, yes, the track ends pretty soon afterwards in a huge gap. Despite the slight incline of the track, carts filled with 24 heavy champions do what carts with 24 heavy champions do, which is fall in a pretty steep parabola
What should actually happen is that the party land bruised but alive below in the big pit areas. However, if these are the sort of choices you are goign to make it's probably best you just go and restart this adventure again as that pit isn't a nice pit.
Go back to 1
60
The pit area is vast, and the party can hear strange sounds from above. Light spills in from various openings as they painfully explore the area.
"We've done it!" said Gothmog, rubbing his hands and jumping up and down. "We've reached the dragon's cavern!"
"Why is there bootmarks all around," asked Wuuf a little concerned.
"Bah, dragons have sensitive feet, everyone knows that!"
"Then why are the tracks side by side like two feet?" asked Linflas, smarting due to trouser related injuries he received on the decent.
"Because dragons walk on two legs when they are alone, they just do the four legs cause it's more frightening," said Gothmog.
"Oh, why is there a towering giant behind us laughing with a booming laugh?" asked Halk.
"Umm...that's because we are in a Giant's lair," said Gothmog, "sorry, I was actually lying. I didn't know what was goign on at all."
The party look aroudn the soaring rocky area and see the scrapes and gouges. They match up quite well to the giant stone club that the giant fire giant is weilding. His eyes burn with red fire, his laughing mouth belches smoke, and his other bodily eminations and both sulphurous and fiery.
"I am the Guardian of the Lift!" says the laughing giant, "and you shall die! Wahahahahhahahaha!" so saying he lets loose a smoky laugh and a fiery fart and smashes some poor harmless rock to powder.
"Oh bum, I've widdled my cloak," says Gothmog while the others try to come up with a plan.
If they should run away, go to 75
If they should try to fight, go to 76
If they should offer an item or method to remove the fiery indigestion of the giant, go to 77
If they should just ask to use the elevator, go to 78
The pit area is vast, and the party can hear strange sounds from above. Light spills in from various openings as they painfully explore the area.
"We've done it!" said Gothmog, rubbing his hands and jumping up and down. "We've reached the dragon's cavern!"
"Why is there bootmarks all around," asked Wuuf a little concerned.
"Bah, dragons have sensitive feet, everyone knows that!"
"Then why are the tracks side by side like two feet?" asked Linflas, smarting due to trouser related injuries he received on the decent.
"Because dragons walk on two legs when they are alone, they just do the four legs cause it's more frightening," said Gothmog.
"Oh, why is there a towering giant behind us laughing with a booming laugh?" asked Halk.
"Umm...that's because we are in a Giant's lair," said Gothmog, "sorry, I was actually lying. I didn't know what was goign on at all."
The party look aroudn the soaring rocky area and see the scrapes and gouges. They match up quite well to the giant stone club that the giant fire giant is weilding. His eyes burn with red fire, his laughing mouth belches smoke, and his other bodily eminations and both sulphurous and fiery.
"I am the Guardian of the Lift!" says the laughing giant, "and you shall die! Wahahahahhahahaha!" so saying he lets loose a smoky laugh and a fiery fart and smashes some poor harmless rock to powder.
"Oh bum, I've widdled my cloak," says Gothmog while the others try to come up with a plan.
If they should run away, go to 75
If they should try to fight, go to 76
If they should offer an item or method to remove the fiery indigestion of the giant, go to 77
If they should just ask to use the elevator, go to 78
61
The party take the chance and run through the portcullis, screaming like girls whether they are female or not. Luckily, the portcullis is slow to fall. Halk's helmet falls off, and Leyla drops her rope, but the two of them manage to reach back and whip them out from under the crushing death before it finally falls.
Dusting themselves off, the party realise their is inspiring music playing in the background, it is a Trolin garage band now playing the rollicking strains of some big adventure music. Probably from some film about an etymologist - darn those etymologists are cool and slick!
Looking around, the party notice they are in a small room with another door. "I could do with a lift, I was feeling down," says Zed, laughing at his own joke. The rest of the party walk forward to examine the lift visible, 'accidentally' standing on Zed's feet as they pass.
Go to 83
The party take the chance and run through the portcullis, screaming like girls whether they are female or not. Luckily, the portcullis is slow to fall. Halk's helmet falls off, and Leyla drops her rope, but the two of them manage to reach back and whip them out from under the crushing death before it finally falls.
Dusting themselves off, the party realise their is inspiring music playing in the background, it is a Trolin garage band now playing the rollicking strains of some big adventure music. Probably from some film about an etymologist - darn those etymologists are cool and slick!
Looking around, the party notice they are in a small room with another door. "I could do with a lift, I was feeling down," says Zed, laughing at his own joke. The rest of the party walk forward to examine the lift visible, 'accidentally' standing on Zed's feet as they pass.
Go to 83
73
The cart finally comes to a halt infront of the door to a giant lift that seems to go both up and down the mountain. If only you had found this blooming thing last time you were in the dungeon! Skeleton staircase? Pshah!
Beside the lift is a queue of Trolins beside a strange looking bus stop, with another Trolin standing to one side wearing a hat. The trolin looks in relief as the cart comes to a halt, and rushes up.
"Thank goodness you've finally got here, the group were starting to get restless - you don't think we've got that many 24-man carts here, do you?" The trolin bustles the bewildered party off and ushers the other Trolins on, all of whom give the party dirty looks.
"And now we shall begin the tour!" says the tour guide, "please keep your elbows and clubs in the cart at all time, and please no pettign the animals along the way. and let's get moving. On your left you will see a grey wall - if you look closely you can see some green mold on it..."
Eventually, a new cart rumbles forward empty apart from its Trolin drive.
If you wish the party to talk to the new driver, go to 80
Otherwise, the party shake their collective heads at it all and walk into the lift. Go to 81
The cart finally comes to a halt infront of the door to a giant lift that seems to go both up and down the mountain. If only you had found this blooming thing last time you were in the dungeon! Skeleton staircase? Pshah!
Beside the lift is a queue of Trolins beside a strange looking bus stop, with another Trolin standing to one side wearing a hat. The trolin looks in relief as the cart comes to a halt, and rushes up.
"Thank goodness you've finally got here, the group were starting to get restless - you don't think we've got that many 24-man carts here, do you?" The trolin bustles the bewildered party off and ushers the other Trolins on, all of whom give the party dirty looks.
"And now we shall begin the tour!" says the tour guide, "please keep your elbows and clubs in the cart at all time, and please no pettign the animals along the way. and let's get moving. On your left you will see a grey wall - if you look closely you can see some green mold on it..."
Eventually, a new cart rumbles forward empty apart from its Trolin drive.
If you wish the party to talk to the new driver, go to 80
Otherwise, the party shake their collective heads at it all and walk into the lift. Go to 81
75
Oh come on, didn't you read the description? The fire giant is both giant and fiery, and has terrible manners. Plus where were you going to go, the lift is a pretty major pathway.
As the party is running around trying to escape, the giant leisurely roasts them or pounds them into squishy marks on the floor. Gothmog fares a little better for a while, since both his soaked cloak protects him from flames, and his fiery eyes make the giant think he's already attacked the mage.
Poor Gothmog is forced to pretend to be a girl, and marries the Fire Giant the next day in a beautiful ceremony
While the story ends well for Gothmog, you might want to save the rest of the party by restarting at 1
Oh come on, didn't you read the description? The fire giant is both giant and fiery, and has terrible manners. Plus where were you going to go, the lift is a pretty major pathway.
As the party is running around trying to escape, the giant leisurely roasts them or pounds them into squishy marks on the floor. Gothmog fares a little better for a while, since both his soaked cloak protects him from flames, and his fiery eyes make the giant think he's already attacked the mage.
Poor Gothmog is forced to pretend to be a girl, and marries the Fire Giant the next day in a beautiful ceremony
While the story ends well for Gothmog, you might want to save the rest of the party by restarting at 1
Last edited by beowuuf on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
76
The Fire Giant laughs a great big booming laugh, which also manages to burn to a crisp a random party member with it's fiery breath (go on, you can choose)
The still animated skeleton of the party member looks out of the fourth wall at you in annoyance and gathers together its singed clothes and equipment, while the rest of the party realise that the giant is laughing so hard the way to the lift is free. They also decide they have had enough of your crazy decisions and leg it quickly into the 24 person lift.
Go to 79
The Fire Giant laughs a great big booming laugh, which also manages to burn to a crisp a random party member with it's fiery breath (go on, you can choose)
The still animated skeleton of the party member looks out of the fourth wall at you in annoyance and gathers together its singed clothes and equipment, while the rest of the party realise that the giant is laughing so hard the way to the lift is free. They also decide they have had enough of your crazy decisions and leg it quickly into the 24 person lift.
Go to 79
Last edited by beowuuf on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
77
Does the party really have an indigestion cure labeled 'indigestion cure', or did you just think you could offer the giant something soothing or weird as a bribe / placebo?
If you have a legitimate indigestion cure, go to 82
Otherwise, the party will have to try to offer some other object with a darn good story. Go to 76
Does the party really have an indigestion cure labeled 'indigestion cure', or did you just think you could offer the giant something soothing or weird as a bribe / placebo?
If you have a legitimate indigestion cure, go to 82
Otherwise, the party will have to try to offer some other object with a darn good story. Go to 76
78
The fire giant looks surprised, confused, touched, angry, gassy, fiery, and giant. None of these help him to work out what to do in this situation, so he laughs in a good natured way and gestures for the party to pass and get into the lift.
Once they are passed, he then lets out a fiery belch that burns the fur of poor Wuuf, and the giant laughs at his own joke. Wuuf urges the party to get a move on and cram into the lift, especially if it contains any water for his tail.
Go to 79
The fire giant looks surprised, confused, touched, angry, gassy, fiery, and giant. None of these help him to work out what to do in this situation, so he laughs in a good natured way and gestures for the party to pass and get into the lift.
Once they are passed, he then lets out a fiery belch that burns the fur of poor Wuuf, and the giant laughs at his own joke. Wuuf urges the party to get a move on and cram into the lift, especially if it contains any water for his tail.
Go to 79
79
The party is standing in a 24-man lift that seems to go up and down the mountain - no stairways for them this time around!
There is a set of magical gems stuck into the wall they can press to direct the lift up or down. They are currently on what is termed the basement level. Outside is a fire giant in a huge cavern, booming a great big laugh which lets forth a mighty belch of smoke and flame.
If you wish the party to offer the giant an indigestion cure, go to 77
If you wish the party to attack the giant, go to 76
Otherwise, the party can take the lift to one of the other levels.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
The party is standing in a 24-man lift that seems to go up and down the mountain - no stairways for them this time around!
There is a set of magical gems stuck into the wall they can press to direct the lift up or down. They are currently on what is termed the basement level. Outside is a fire giant in a huge cavern, booming a great big laugh which lets forth a mighty belch of smoke and flame.
If you wish the party to offer the giant an indigestion cure, go to 77
If you wish the party to attack the giant, go to 76
Otherwise, the party can take the lift to one of the other levels.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
80
"Our tours are brilliant!" says the guide as the party walk over and ask, "the Amazing Rollercoatser Ride of Mt. Anais! Discount for a party your size of experienced adventurers, one ticket and I'll let you see the lot including the scary firebreathing dragon at the end! Satisfaction guaranteed!"
If the party possesses a tour ticket and should use it, go to 86
If the party have a gold coin and should ask what it can get them, go to 87
Otherwise, the party should get back into the lift. Go to 81
"Our tours are brilliant!" says the guide as the party walk over and ask, "the Amazing Rollercoatser Ride of Mt. Anais! Discount for a party your size of experienced adventurers, one ticket and I'll let you see the lot including the scary firebreathing dragon at the end! Satisfaction guaranteed!"
If the party possesses a tour ticket and should use it, go to 86
If the party have a gold coin and should ask what it can get them, go to 87
Otherwise, the party should get back into the lift. Go to 81
81
The party is standing in a 24-man lift that seems to go up and down the mountain - no stairways for them this time around!
There is a set of magical gems stuck into the wall they can press to direct the lift up or down. They are currently on what is termed the first floor. Outside is a post with a sign on declaring 'amazing tours of Mount Anais!" Behind this is a 25 capacity mining cart with a hatted Trolin who is obviously the tour guide and driver.
If you wish the party to get out and talk to the tour guide, go to 80
Otherwise, the party can take the lift to one of the other levels.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
The party is standing in a 24-man lift that seems to go up and down the mountain - no stairways for them this time around!
There is a set of magical gems stuck into the wall they can press to direct the lift up or down. They are currently on what is termed the first floor. Outside is a post with a sign on declaring 'amazing tours of Mount Anais!" Behind this is a 25 capacity mining cart with a hatted Trolin who is obviously the tour guide and driver.
If you wish the party to get out and talk to the tour guide, go to 80
Otherwise, the party can take the lift to one of the other levels.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
82
The giant takes the pills, and downs the whole bottle in one fiery gulp. There is a muffled hiss from inside him, and more smoke and even steam come out of every pore and orifice.
"Oo, er!" says the giant as it all starts getting a bit eye watering. However, then, with one final belch the fires die off. "Oh my goodness, I never thought I could feel such relief!" he says, shaking each member of the party's hand in gratitude.
"What an odd yet sweet man," says Wu Tse.
"Oh arse, arse, arse, arse, arse!" says the giant suddenly, throwing Wu Tse against the wall. He starts jumping around, making odd motions. "No one told me all my bling was so bloody hot!" says the giant - now his temperature has cooled, all his red hot gear is too hot to handle. He quickly flicks it off. What were some nice metallic knee and elbow protectors are actually some pretty good fire plate for the party, his dangly ear-rings and key ring accessories make some nice fire shields, and the thimbles he's got on his fingers for no wildly good reason could make good fire helms.
The party can scrounge up enough gear for four sets of fire armour, although gathering it up and holding it until it cools enough to be put on roasts one poor sap (choose your least favourite party member, they won't mind)
"Sure, take 'em, I don't need 'em," says the giant pleased with himself and the party, "I'm off to get me more digestion crippling hot wings!"
Chani rolls her eyes. "Won't that just cause the indigestion again?" she asks. The giant pauses, considers it for a moment, then nods in realisation.
"Shut your noise you lot and get out of here before I thump you one," he says good naturedly, grabbing a plate of hot wings and stuffing his mouth. Bloody giants.
With their new armour and newly fried party member, the party get back into the lift. Go to 79
The giant takes the pills, and downs the whole bottle in one fiery gulp. There is a muffled hiss from inside him, and more smoke and even steam come out of every pore and orifice.
"Oo, er!" says the giant as it all starts getting a bit eye watering. However, then, with one final belch the fires die off. "Oh my goodness, I never thought I could feel such relief!" he says, shaking each member of the party's hand in gratitude.
"What an odd yet sweet man," says Wu Tse.
"Oh arse, arse, arse, arse, arse!" says the giant suddenly, throwing Wu Tse against the wall. He starts jumping around, making odd motions. "No one told me all my bling was so bloody hot!" says the giant - now his temperature has cooled, all his red hot gear is too hot to handle. He quickly flicks it off. What were some nice metallic knee and elbow protectors are actually some pretty good fire plate for the party, his dangly ear-rings and key ring accessories make some nice fire shields, and the thimbles he's got on his fingers for no wildly good reason could make good fire helms.
The party can scrounge up enough gear for four sets of fire armour, although gathering it up and holding it until it cools enough to be put on roasts one poor sap (choose your least favourite party member, they won't mind)
"Sure, take 'em, I don't need 'em," says the giant pleased with himself and the party, "I'm off to get me more digestion crippling hot wings!"
Chani rolls her eyes. "Won't that just cause the indigestion again?" she asks. The giant pauses, considers it for a moment, then nods in realisation.
"Shut your noise you lot and get out of here before I thump you one," he says good naturedly, grabbing a plate of hot wings and stuffing his mouth. Bloody giants.
With their new armour and newly fried party member, the party get back into the lift. Go to 79
83
The party is standing in a 24-man lift that seems to go up and down the mountain - no stairways for them this time around!
There is a set of magical gems stuck into the wall they can press to direct the lift up or down. They are currently on what is termed the ground floor. Outside is a small room sealed off with a portcullis. Behind this is a large band of trolins with musical instruments playing a set of movie theme tunes. They are actually pretty good!
If the party should give a gold coin or two to the trolin band for such good music, go to 88
If the party has a ticket for the 'Battle of the Bands' and wish to give it away, go to 89
Otherwise, the party can take the lift to one of the other levels.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
The party is standing in a 24-man lift that seems to go up and down the mountain - no stairways for them this time around!
There is a set of magical gems stuck into the wall they can press to direct the lift up or down. They are currently on what is termed the ground floor. Outside is a small room sealed off with a portcullis. Behind this is a large band of trolins with musical instruments playing a set of movie theme tunes. They are actually pretty good!
If the party should give a gold coin or two to the trolin band for such good music, go to 88
If the party has a ticket for the 'Battle of the Bands' and wish to give it away, go to 89
Otherwise, the party can take the lift to one of the other levels.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
84
Mophus gets very excited as the lift goes to the top floor, for no obviously good reason, certainly nothing to do with the lingerie.
The doors open to reveal what in another world would be called a department story, with various areas visible. Luckily, the place operates a barter system - any item the party has discovered can be bartered at the listed exchange. Sweet!
There's a sports section where clubs, sword or axes can be gained for only one item each.
There's a woman's wear section where a dress or *cough underwear cough* can be gained for one item each.
There's a ticket dealer who can offer either a ticket for the Battle of the Bands or a ticket for the Mount Anais Tours downstairs, at a cost of three items each. Sadly, only one ticket is available for each one.
There's a home goods section, where nice table cloths, candle holders, and pot pouri can be obtained for one item each.
There's a pharmacy where for one item the party can get either a bottle of indigestion tablets, a bottle of energised water or a pack of plasters - sadly one one of each item is available.
There's also a returns department / pawn shop, where the party can exchange any item (bartered here or not) for one gold coin a piece.
The party can shop here for whatever they like for as long as they like. Once they are done, they can also get some food in. The restaurant does enough basic food for the party or enough basic drink for the party for only one item apiece for one sitting. The restaurant is happy to do party-sized doggy bags too at the same cost.
Once they are done, the loaded down party can get back into the lift and decide on their next destination.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
Mophus gets very excited as the lift goes to the top floor, for no obviously good reason, certainly nothing to do with the lingerie.
The doors open to reveal what in another world would be called a department story, with various areas visible. Luckily, the place operates a barter system - any item the party has discovered can be bartered at the listed exchange. Sweet!
There's a sports section where clubs, sword or axes can be gained for only one item each.
There's a woman's wear section where a dress or *cough underwear cough* can be gained for one item each.
There's a ticket dealer who can offer either a ticket for the Battle of the Bands or a ticket for the Mount Anais Tours downstairs, at a cost of three items each. Sadly, only one ticket is available for each one.
There's a home goods section, where nice table cloths, candle holders, and pot pouri can be obtained for one item each.
There's a pharmacy where for one item the party can get either a bottle of indigestion tablets, a bottle of energised water or a pack of plasters - sadly one one of each item is available.
There's also a returns department / pawn shop, where the party can exchange any item (bartered here or not) for one gold coin a piece.
The party can shop here for whatever they like for as long as they like. Once they are done, they can also get some food in. The restaurant does enough basic food for the party or enough basic drink for the party for only one item apiece for one sitting. The restaurant is happy to do party-sized doggy bags too at the same cost.
Once they are done, the loaded down party can get back into the lift and decide on their next destination.
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
85
The lift opens up showing a simle plain room with a plain door for an exit. A Deth Knight stands guard, although he's lifted up his facemask to have a quick smoke (after all, he is evil) and looks a happy, jolly man.
"Mind if we carry on through?" asks Nabi,. chancing the group's arm.
"I'm still on my break, carry on," says the knight. Then he paused. "Wait a minute..."
Nabi and the group freeze.
If the party have both complete sets of fire armour plate and Heroic Weapons(tm), go to 91
Otherwise, go to 90
The lift opens up showing a simle plain room with a plain door for an exit. A Deth Knight stands guard, although he's lifted up his facemask to have a quick smoke (after all, he is evil) and looks a happy, jolly man.
"Mind if we carry on through?" asks Nabi,. chancing the group's arm.
"I'm still on my break, carry on," says the knight. Then he paused. "Wait a minute..."
Nabi and the group freeze.
If the party have both complete sets of fire armour plate and Heroic Weapons(tm), go to 91
Otherwise, go to 90
90
"Sorry, can't let you go on," says the guard in a friendly tone of voice, "you just aren't ready for the lower levels apparently. I mean seriously, it could get very nasty if I let you blunder on."
The knight waves the party back to the lift, and sadly the party follow suit. After all, he is jolly nice.
Where should the party take the lift now?
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
"Sorry, can't let you go on," says the guard in a friendly tone of voice, "you just aren't ready for the lower levels apparently. I mean seriously, it could get very nasty if I let you blunder on."
The knight waves the party back to the lift, and sadly the party follow suit. After all, he is jolly nice.
Where should the party take the lift now?
Obvious main path lower basement level? Go to 85
Basement level? Go to 79
Ground floor? Go to 83
First floor? Go to 81
Top floor for lingerie, sports goods, household items and resteraunt? Go to 84
91
"Oh, never mind, you seem kick ass enough," says the guard looking over those members with the cool gear. He settles back against the wall, laughing at something funny that obvious happened earlier involving some adventurers and a false wall / teleporter puzzle and a dead end.
Nabi sighs with relief, and urges the party onwards to examine the door. It doesn't have a push button, instead it has a simple coin slot.
If you possess a Sar Coin, go to 94
If you just possess ordinary coins, you can waste as many as you like on the slot. Otherwise, Nabi will tart foaming at the mouth and start mentioning plans to do with badgers. Either way, you probably better go to 90
"Oh, never mind, you seem kick ass enough," says the guard looking over those members with the cool gear. He settles back against the wall, laughing at something funny that obvious happened earlier involving some adventurers and a false wall / teleporter puzzle and a dead end.
Nabi sighs with relief, and urges the party onwards to examine the door. It doesn't have a push button, instead it has a simple coin slot.
If you possess a Sar Coin, go to 94
If you just possess ordinary coins, you can waste as many as you like on the slot. Otherwise, Nabi will tart foaming at the mouth and start mentioning plans to do with badgers. Either way, you probably better go to 90
86
The Trolin happily accepts the ticket and ushers all the party into the cart. It's a tight fit, but he seems unconcerned.
"All aboard, all aboard for the Amazing Rollercoatser Ride of Mt. Anais! We shall begin the tour!" says the tour guide, "please keep your elbows, weaponry and tails in the cart at all time, and please no petting the animals along the way, especially if you have brutally killed their mother in your quest for experience and food earlier. Let's get moving!"
So saying the cart jerks violently on its tracks and starts hurtling along the tracks in along through various corridors and gallery sections overlooking important rooms.
"On your left you will see a grey wall, on your right you will also see a grey wall, to your left again is another grey wall - if you look closely you can see some green mold on it, to your left again you will see another grey wall, again with more mold, now, if you look to the floor you might just spot a water mark, now, this is a really funny story, you see although there is a water mark there is no fountains around! Haha! Moving on, to your left is a grey wall, to your right is a grey walled room with nothing in it, if you look right and keep your eyes peeled, you will entirely fail to notice the naked amazon women on your left - too late, sory, they have gone now. Maybe they will come back tomorrow."
The tour carries on like this until you get to the 'dragon cave', which ends up being the tour guide's house.
"Heh, you see, the wife is a real dragon...geddit?" The tour guide almost does, except he really does have a mean looking wife and none of the party dare. If Lord Chaos had only utilised them instead of the lazier husbands for DM no-one would have gotten passed level 3!
Luckily, she is too busy trying to spruce up the home to pay you much attention. She keeps tutting and sighing at the horrible green slime and all the captured weaponry placed up on the walls.
If the party feel the trolin wife could do with a a nice dress or *ahem* other womanly wear to take her mind off it all, go to 92
If the party should offer the trolin wife any nice home accessories for her place, go to 93
Otherwise, the tour is now over, and the Trolin takes the party back to the lift. Go to 81
The Trolin happily accepts the ticket and ushers all the party into the cart. It's a tight fit, but he seems unconcerned.
"All aboard, all aboard for the Amazing Rollercoatser Ride of Mt. Anais! We shall begin the tour!" says the tour guide, "please keep your elbows, weaponry and tails in the cart at all time, and please no petting the animals along the way, especially if you have brutally killed their mother in your quest for experience and food earlier. Let's get moving!"
So saying the cart jerks violently on its tracks and starts hurtling along the tracks in along through various corridors and gallery sections overlooking important rooms.
"On your left you will see a grey wall, on your right you will also see a grey wall, to your left again is another grey wall - if you look closely you can see some green mold on it, to your left again you will see another grey wall, again with more mold, now, if you look to the floor you might just spot a water mark, now, this is a really funny story, you see although there is a water mark there is no fountains around! Haha! Moving on, to your left is a grey wall, to your right is a grey walled room with nothing in it, if you look right and keep your eyes peeled, you will entirely fail to notice the naked amazon women on your left - too late, sory, they have gone now. Maybe they will come back tomorrow."
The tour carries on like this until you get to the 'dragon cave', which ends up being the tour guide's house.
"Heh, you see, the wife is a real dragon...geddit?" The tour guide almost does, except he really does have a mean looking wife and none of the party dare. If Lord Chaos had only utilised them instead of the lazier husbands for DM no-one would have gotten passed level 3!
Luckily, she is too busy trying to spruce up the home to pay you much attention. She keeps tutting and sighing at the horrible green slime and all the captured weaponry placed up on the walls.
If the party feel the trolin wife could do with a a nice dress or *ahem* other womanly wear to take her mind off it all, go to 92
If the party should offer the trolin wife any nice home accessories for her place, go to 93
Otherwise, the tour is now over, and the Trolin takes the party back to the lift. Go to 81