I challenge you II .... an insult swordfight

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:45 pm

It's a terrible sin to kill one's kin.

I shall delight in your girlish screams!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:54 pm

Yeah, but do it now - you've got 15 seconds left.

Could you stop running? I'm afraid that you could die on a heart-attack before I kill you.

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:59 pm

(OK, kids, it's 10PM now and I'm going away. I just can't believe that I have wasted an hour of my life like this. And all I got is this damn rubber chicken with a damn pulley in the damn middle. Damn.)

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 10:30 pm

Only if you'll turn the other way, you're pushing me with your oversized nose!

Grown men with cry when they hear of the pain I have wrought upon you!

Post by **Sophia** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 11:58 pm

beowuuf wrote:Grown men with cry when they hear of the pain I have wrought upon you!

"Grown men with cry"? They'll never be able to retell any of your tales because they can't make sense of your incoherent blathering!

Go type some Polish with your thumbs!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 12:05 am

I shall, my disjointed words will match your disjointed features

Your end will be swift!

Post by **Gambit37** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 12:30 am

I'll swiftly beat your end.

Er....

Duckman · Post by **Duckman** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:46 am

Yer nay swordsmen, not even swordswomen, ye screamers!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:16 am

Your lack of gender differentiation certainly explains your dates...

I'll have you eating dirt after a display of my skill!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:19 am

I hope you skills are not connected to the slime that flows out from your nose!

There must be some mistake, kid - the kindergarten is on the other island. Let me show you the way!

Trantor · Post by **Trantor** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 12:15 pm

No thanks, I don't want to see your home.

Tell me about your accident - or were you born with that brain-disfunction?

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 12:30 pm

Ha! Then you will die with a heart-malfunctions! Watch!

Here, take this paper, and sign your euthanasia agreement. I don't want to get into any legal troubles when explaining your death.

Duckman · Post by **Duckman** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 2:12 pm

I cannay read 'tis agreement. NO-ONE could! what does "SCCCREEEEAAAAMMMM" mean I have to accept? scream it in english or finnish or i will throw a club at ye!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 4:09 pm

(@Duckman: Hmmm.... I don't think it was a proper response. But never mind. More importantly, you didn't give a proper insult! Learn the rules or I'll cut your throat!

)

oh_brother · Post by **oh_brother** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:37 pm

Ha! The only thing you should cut is your momma's calorie intake!

Now draw your sword and fight like a girl!

Post by **Ameena** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:45 pm

Why? Clearly you're already a master at that - I'm sure you don't need any more pointers.

I bet you're so bad at swordfighting, you couldn't skewer an elephant from half a pace away!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:12 pm

I'm shaking, I'm shaking!

It means that I'm not absolutely sure about the meaning of the insult above, so I'm running away. But I'll be back!

EDIT: Erm, a language corner: "skewer an elephant from half a pace away" means "to take a sharp piece of metal and push it into that poor cute animal from a half-step distance"? Or what?

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:39 pm

Exactly Jan!

@Ameena: Come a few paces closer, and we'll test your assumption!

A three-headed money possesses more decisive wit than you!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 6:56 pm

I thought your sister had only two heads, and not three!

(erm, from the context I assume that you were talking about three-headed monkey, and not about money - from his avatar I think he has only one head )

You belong in a museum!

(I'm pretty sure I know what you'll answer )

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 7:00 pm

Not when I've done with his character in the D&D game he won't! Yes, I meant monkey . On the good keyboard atm, so I have no one to blame for the spelling but myself. And a distracting three-headed monkey

And you belong in a mausoleum!

Have no fear, I will comfort your wife and mistresses when you are buried in the ground!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:18 pm

Too bad that nobody will comfort your mourning wife tomorrow.

Please, could you stop nose-picking, at least during the combat? You won't fit in the coffin due to the rigor-mortis if you keep your hand in your nose!

(a mausoleum was not what I thought... it was actually a reference to Indiana Jones... but never mind, mausoleum made me laugh...)

Trantor · Post by **Trantor** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:35 pm

It's not my fault that your combat skills are so weak that I don't need both of my hands to defeat you!

Tell me, how does it feel when your mom still tries to abort you on your sixth birthday?

Post by **Sophia** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:37 pm

You must be thinking of someone else. I guess you often fight six year olds so you have some chance to win, right?

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:41 pm

Trantor wrote:Tell me, how does it feel when your mom still tries to abort you on your sixth birthday?

How could I know? You've never talked about your childhood!

I've seen enough. I think you should return to the sword-master's school. We'll meet here next summer, alright?

(late again)

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:59 pm

Jan wrote:(a mausoleum was not what I thought... it was actually a reference to Indiana Jones... but never mind, mausoleum made me laugh...)

( I got the reference, decided on the mausoleum come-back

)

Jan wrote:I've seen enough. I think you should return to the sword-master's school. We'll meet here next summer, alright?

I do not think the sword-master could be persuaded to come and train the likes of you, even if I had a year to beg him!

I shall put you down like the dog you are, in all senses of the word!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:30 pm

You won't put down anybody when hiding on the toilet - come out and face me!

(OK, this was my poorest reply so far, sorry for that, I'm tired and sleepy, I should go to bed - good night, you scummy pirates you! )

You should sue your plastic surgeon - he didn't do a good job!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:56 pm

I'm afraid it is normal not to have two left thumbs and to have a face shaped like mine, you sir are the freak!

The ballads of your defeat today will be told throughout history!

Post by **Ameena** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:18 am

Nah, it's no challenge thrashing you - I'd rather they wrote songs about me beating someone worthwhile.

I shall rend you limb from limb with my almighty cutting blade!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:04 am

That's sounds about right, your blade is as dull as your wit!

I, however, shall cut you as deeply and smoothly with my blade as my wit cuts your pride!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:27 am

Then I can take my armour off, because your wit (even if you had any) wouldn't penetrate a mind of a two-years old girl.

I wish you had taken a bath before our combat - what do you want to do? Stink me to death?

(well, this is probably gramatically extremely horrible, but I think you can understand the meaning)

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I challenge you II .... an insult swordfight

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