The Changing Man

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beowuuf
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Post by beowuuf »

BYE! Miss you!
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Gambit37
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Post by Gambit37 »

I'm baaaaaaaAAAAAAAcccck!

Miss me? I finally have my computer setup and now have internet access again. I've been without it at home for a whole month, It's been quite refreshing!

I'm not going to spout for ages, but just wanted to let you guys know my latest. Today, I handed in my notice at HSBC, only two and a bit months after joining. I have to work a month's notice and will finish at the very beginning of August.

Why? Long story short: corporate banking sucks.

Yes, it's true, HSBC sucked big fat corporate ass, as I suspected it would, but I had to try it out and I don't regret it at all as it really helped me see at least what I DON'T want to do with my life! If the work had been a bit more interesting, I might have stayed there longer -- however, a whole bunch of other factors which at first seemed tolerable ended up really annoying me, and ultimately I simply wasn't enjoying it. Life's too short to toil on something you hate.

I have decided to return to freelance web design as out of all the things I've done, that is the one I enjoy the most and am best at. I will be able to work from home in the new flat share and will be spending the next few weeks of evenings developing a new portfolio website and getting my name back out there again.

It's a risk but one I feel I am ready to take -- I'm looking forward to it.

Re-re-wind.
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Trantor
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Post by Trantor »

Welcome back Gambit, and good luck with your new old job!
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beowuuf
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Post by beowuuf »

Trantor wrote:Welcome back Gambit, and good luck with your new old job!
:D

Seconded!
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Post by Adamo »

hey Gambit! it gives you some time to finish DM Codex site! ;)
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Tom Hatfield
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Post by Tom Hatfield »

Whatever happened with the French lady?
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Gambit37
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Post by Gambit37 »

Nothing. In fact, she still has my spirit level. Thanks for reminding me!
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Post by cowsmanaut »

I was away for a whole 2.5 weeks with no internet!!1 AGHHHHHH!! I nearly had a stroke! I can't take not having internet.

Anyway, I've changed places to a new and bigger one, and only moved 3 blocks.. so I'm not quite as far as you've gone. Though it is interesting how much everything changes with a new place, new home layout, and a chance to get rid of tonnes of crap you never use!!! There were things I'd forgotten I had. Some I kept, others I tossed.

How about you, settled in finally? Does it feel very homey now?
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Gambit37
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Post by Gambit37 »

Yeah, when you get used to internet access, it can be weird not having it -- but honestly, I didn't miss it too much. However, now I have it back, I've been checking in every day... ;-)

Ah, so you've moved too? Tell us more!

I wouldn't say I'm settled. This place is a stop gap really. There's lot's of small little niggles I have that added up make it a not ideal place for me, but it's rasonably cheap and on balance seems worth staying for a while. I wouldn't say it's cosy. Although I'm sharing with two other people, I hardly see them as they have very full lives, so it's almost like I'm living on my own. That suits me to a degree as I've always been a loner, but one of the points of sharing wasto make new friends. That's not so easy -- the girl is great but the guy annoys me, not quite sure why. But they've been lovely and both invited me out to things -- now I need to start finding my own stuff to do that I can invite them to...
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Post by cowsmanaut »

well, we had to move because our land lord wanted to move in his mother in law.. so we went on our bold search of a new place. We found one that is much larger and only a bit more money considering how much larger and more awesome it is.

At first I was a bit irritated that we had to move, but now I'm somewhat more happy about the decision.

The only thing is this place has cost money in other ways. Such as buying some new appliances. Namely a fridge and stove. Since the ones that were here did not work. We also spent a fair bit experimenting with paint. We plan to do the floor soon as well, since the carpet is crummy, and we want to get a washer and dryer. etc etc.. Just a lot of little details to buy, make, whatever. Just to make the place nice and enjoyable to be in.

The nice thing is that with this place we can decorate a lot more and do what we like. Where as the previous place was one of those things where we didn't feel we could make it our own really..

anyway, not much else to say about it.. it's big, it's in a really nice area.. right next to the rec center, and a short trip from that place I had photos up of a while back. (deep cove) so still surrounded by nature. We have a spare room now, in case of visitors. it's awesome

as for you my good man. Check the internet about your area, I'm sure a few quick searches about what to do in your area will provide you with some activities. I did the same kind of thing on facebook and found a lot of groups and things to do locally.
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Post by Gambit37 »

Woooo hooooooo! I am insane but excited.

I went to see a flat today a little further south in Crystal Palace area. It's a two bed place, very expensive, but perfect as I can make the second room an office and finally get to treating the freelancing a bit more professionally.

I will have to work very hard to earn enough to pay for it and still have a social life, but I'm feeling quite excited about it. It's a reasonably quiet area and near a wood and a park with a lake. It's in a purpose built block so it doesn't really have any character (I usually go for places with a bit of history / archictectural character) but it has loads of storage space and the couple who will be my landlords seem cool so I don't anticipate any problems with maintenance, etc. Also, they are leaving some furniture such as sofas and the bed frame and this will help a lot as I sold all my furniture when I moved to London!

It's a bit further away from london centre but not too bad and still a quick journey on the train. It's actually not far from the hotel you other guys went to for your DM day.

Onwards and upwards!
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Gambit37
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by Gambit37 »

Wow. I just re-read this entire thread.

Two years on and I'm back to feeling how I was in my first post. That's not at all good. It seems weird to be two years further down the line and to see that basically I didn't do any of the things I set out to do. The last two years freelancing have simply been one massive struggle in finding enough work to pay the bills. On top of that, I haven't yet got a decent social life so I've spent most of the last 2 years working at home on my own -- and I think it's made me a bit mad. I need to be around people!

This can't go on and I really do need to start making some tough decisions about my future. A full time job seems likely. I don't know yet, I have some thinking to do, but we'll see. I have learned that while I love the creative aspect of web design, actually running a business doing it is something I'm really not interested in and I'm not good at it either. Not a problem: I tried it and have realised it's not for me.

At least this time, I have some local support: I started doing an 8 week course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's a bit odd but if I can get my head around it, I think it might help me long term.

How's things with everyone else?
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beowuuf
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by beowuuf »

As with everything in this world, I knew ahead of time your feelings because I follow you on twitter :p

As long as you don't feel your investment has been a waste of time, at least you gave it a thorough try and made an informaed decision to go another way. More than many people do (both the having courage to change, and having the maturity to balance move on after sticking something out)

I can't believe I've been in my flat for over a year now - wheee! can't really comment on where my life is, with the recession panic this year the industry has been insane, and the biggest companies just keep passing that panicking crunch of no work now tons of work down the chain.

I might get a chance to breath next year and take stock!
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Trantor
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by Trantor »

Gambit, you have progressed in the last two years - you tried to run a business of your own and realized it isn't for you. Many people would not have had the courage and strength to actually try it, and 50 years down the line, they wonder how their life would have been if they had tried it. Well, you now know it. I am sure the last two years have gained you many experience points, even if you don't have more hitpoints than you used to, if you know what I mean. You also made a start about the whole social life thing, and I sincerely hope it will help you.

As for me, I'm not entirely sure. The last 2.5 years, I had the feeling that my life is just starting now, with my first real job, first own flat and so on. It also didn't hurt that I met the girl with whom I intend to stay for the rest of my life. Right now, I feel that everything has become a bit stale. It seems I'm not really evolving anymore, I'm slowly sliding into a routine that seems to have no escape - and I'm not sure I like that, or if getting married and having children will be the right change for me. The depressions I often used to suffer from sometimes rear their ugly head again, that's for sure. I just hope this has to do with my increased workload and not with anything else...
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beowuuf
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by beowuuf »

The trouble with the human brain is that it can spot stagnation, but it can also rebel at the closing off of choices and possibilities (even if the options you are 'stuck' with are actually the best ones).

I guess the trouble with depression is that it robs you of energy, which irritatingly seems to be what is required to break out of it, and being busy with work just locks you into the energy-less cycle.

I guess if you can manage to get some little rebellions in your life that are creative and inclusive, instead of destructive, and see if that can break both the depression and feeling of stagnation, then you will know if you're on the right track and you're just suffering from normal stuff, or if you need to take a more serious look.

On the bright side, you've changed one thing already - you've got the banville rank now! When did that happen?
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Trantor
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by Trantor »

About the Banville rank: Ask a fellow admin, you know who I mean...
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zoom
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by zoom »

sports helps me a lot in coping with my life.
I recently started karate, did tae kwon do some 15+ years back. It is very similar and I enjoy it a lot.

Makes me feel better,
plus, you can switch off your daily sorrows o/routine in the dojo.

the everyday life is ups and downs ... still need some focus(job) but I guess it is all right.
met friends again the other day I did not see quite some time.(far too long) Probably I will spend new year´s eve with them!
I miss my family. Then again, living on my own has some good sides , too. So all in all I am fine. ok, no girlfriend, but I am used to that..
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PaulH
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by PaulH »

I still live my my parents lol
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Gambit37
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by Gambit37 »

Don't knock it Paul ;-) I wish I still had parents I could live with! One died 20 years ago from alcoholism, the other one is a certified lunatic (I'm totally serious) whom I try and avoid as much as possible. Make the most of good parents; bad ones will do strange things to a man...
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PaulH
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by PaulH »

Ah I heard you mention your mother before.

I want to move out, but my health is improving slower than expected, but prospects are good.
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beowuuf
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by beowuuf »

That sucks, I thought you'd managed to get in the clear from all that :(
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PaulH
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by PaulH »

Nah, not yet! Still have M.E. fom reactivating glandular fever, plus take drugs to steady my blood pressure from the 'other' problem.
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by MasterWuuf »

PaulH wrote:Nah, not yet! Still have M.E. fom reactivating glandular fever, plus take drugs to steady my blood pressure from the 'other' problem.
Sorry to hear of your health issues. Self control is an everyday irritation, I suppose?
Thanks for sharing. I'm glad to know you.
"Wuuf's big brother"
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Gambit37
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by Gambit37 »

My heartfelt good wishes for your speedy recovery. And this is a very good reason to continue living at home. Do you get all your meals cooked and clothes washed? I really wish I had that -- totally sick of being the only person in my flat who has to do everything. It would be nice not to have to do the washing up for once! ;-)
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PaulH
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by PaulH »

Yeah, got to be careful not to overdo it! Is the paradox of this illness, exercising to get fit can make you worse! Is a very fine line.

But I am very happy with what I have achieved with it.
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PaulH
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by PaulH »

Gambit37 wrote:My heartfelt good wishes for your speedy recovery. And this is a very good reason to continue living at home. Do you get all your meals cooked and clothes washed? I really wish I had that -- totally sick of being the only person in my flat who has to do everything. It would be nice not to have to do the washing up for once! ;-)
Ha, I wish, I do all my own washing ;-)

Love to cook too! But are great, understanding parents.
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Trantor
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by Trantor »

Oh, I was kind of expecting that you were much better Paul. Sad that you aren't. :( All the best wishes to you!

I re-read my post from February 2007 in this thread by the way, and I seem to have come a long way. Not everything in my life is as good as I could make it, but all in all, I'm happy and satisfied.
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beowuuf
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by beowuuf »

:D
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by MitchB1990 »

Gambit37 wrote:Don't knock it Paul ;-) I wish I still had parents I could live with! One died 20 years ago from alcoholism, the other one is a certified lunatic (I'm totally serious) whom I try and avoid as much as possible. Make the most of good parents; bad ones will do strange things to a man...
Parents are nice, but I needed to get out and do what I wanted. I know they'll always be there for me, At least for a time, but for once in my life I'm excited about gaining more responsibility, it's a bit uneasy living in a big city as to apposed to my hometown but I always know if something goes terribly wrong my parents will help in anyway they can. Mainly I miss the cleaning :P, my roommate is messy an I am frequently playing maid!
A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Joined 27 Feb 2005 as Dark.
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Gambit37
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Re: The Changing Man

Post by Gambit37 »

Hi guys! Some of you will know from reading My New Business Website thread that I'm in a bit of a pickle right now. I need to decided whether to to continue trying to make the freelancing work, or to go and get a full time job.

I'm doing a "pros and cons" of both at the moment, but I just wanted to ask if any of you have been in this position yourselves, and if so how you resolved it? Specifically: you've spent time running your own business and realised it's not for you and decided to return to full time employment.

I'd be interested to hear about your experiences -- or indeed, any general advice about how to get back into full time work after nearly three years away! (I am concerned I have become unemployable!)
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