Non Standard Weaponry

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cowsmanaut
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Non Standard Weaponry

Post by cowsmanaut »

It occurred to me that there is a variety of non standard weaponry in our world, things people do not utilize as they do not see their full potential. For example, a large fish like a Sea bass is a handy weapon. For many reasons:

1. it confuses the opponent "why is he holding that fish?"
2. It makes a much more satisfying *SMACK* sound
3. It tenderizes the fish making for better cooking later
4. Your opponent now also smells of fish, adding insult to injury.

Or prehaps combine the cat 'o nine tails with throwing stars.. two classic and cool weaposn.. just take a one tailed feral cat and throw it! These feral cats can be put into a bag making them rather irritable and when removed the placement of a small clamp on their tail will only enrage them further, However be sure to throw them quickly as their ire will turn on who ever is closest. Once colliding with your opponent (they will twist in the air to cling on to the target so no need to be too accurate) they will claw their way up to the top and continue to slash in an attempt to silence the opponent who is obviously responsible for their tail discomfort..

These two weapons can even make a wonderful pair as you can beat the opponent with the fish while he's dealing with the cat, and then use it to distract the cat afterwards while you "Dissarm" the cat by removing the clamp, the fish will eventually cause purrs to emit from the small feline where upon you can safely place the cat back into the bag..

So you see.. potential is out there.. what is your favorite non standard weapon?
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by terkio »

A dildo.

_Brandish
_Stab
_Shove
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by Seriously Unserious »

cowsmanaut wrote: Or prehaps combine the cat 'o nine tails with throwing stars.. two classic and cool weaposn.. just take a one tailed feral cat and throw it! These feral cats can be put into a bag making them rather irritable and when removed the placement of a small clamp on their tail will only enrage them further, However be sure to throw them quickly as their ire will turn on who ever is closest. Once colliding with your opponent (they will twist in the air to cling on to the target so no need to be too accurate) they will claw their way up to the top and continue to slash in an attempt to silence the opponent who is obviously responsible for their tail discomfort..
I'd go for a porcupine instead of the cat. all those quills, how can you go wrong using it as a weapon? :twisted:

Just remember to have a "handle with care" label on your porcupine bag... :P

or how about a skunk, hold it with the head end facing you and the backside to your target, irritate the skunk so it sprays, and aim it at your target. Your target will pick up a worse stench then hitting him with a fish, and he'll be running away guaranteed after the skunk bomb has gone off in his face. You also get the benefit of longer range then the fish, which is hard to hang onto anyways, and you'd probably end up with it slipping out of your hand as soon as you go to swing it...
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by Sophia »

:shock:
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by Gambit37 »

Just take a look at Half Life: Blue Shift / Opposing Force, Blood or Shadow Warrior for some cool "non standard" weapons. How about shoving your fingers in the back of a dead guy's skull to choose different magic attacks?
http://www.oldgames.sk/images/oldgames/ ... 2c59ba.png


Gotta hand it to Cows: he only posts once in a while these days but it's usually something crazy :-D
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by Seriously Unserious »

and this one's pretty damn crazy! :P
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cowsmanaut
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by cowsmanaut »

Bah, who want's to be normal :P

that head thing freaks me out.. just slightly more messed up than my post I think.. :D

I like the skunk idea though.. just have to be careful to aim down wind!.. also when you grab them, the do tend to bite.. so wear gloves.. that'll deal with the leakage too 0_0

I thought about throwing live squid, as they have the grasping and suction cup thing.. and they shoot ink and bite with their beak.. but a few things didn't work out so well, like their lack of aerodynamics and the fact that they need water to carry in, which is heavy.. but if you're in an underwater battle.. they might work when shot through tubes..

Also very useful, paper mache balls filled with red ants.. or wasps.. just throw and run.. helps with the fast get away (especially with the motivation for running, for those of us who are a little round about the middle).. only down side is making them in the first place.. :P
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by Seriously Unserious »

cowsmanaut wrote:Also very useful, paper mache balls filled with red ants.. or wasps.. just throw and run..
Africanised bees would also work well for this, or deer ticks (Lyme Disease), or femail Black Widows (don't use the males, they're wimps). :P
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

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Image
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by beowuuf »

I though you said non-standard. Everyone needs a kittie cannon! :D
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by Ameena »

Lol that image reminds me somewhat of the Stranger from Stranger's Wrath (the last Oddworld game), who uses a special kind of crossbow which fires various small critters, like exploding bats (called Boombats) and electric bugs (Zappflies), amongst others.
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by cowsmanaut »

oddly enough, bomb bats are a real thing. The army in WWII used bats to carry bombs, they would nest in crevices of buildings when released, and they would set off the bombs causing destructions... they also did this with starved dogs and tanks.. teach the dogs that food would be under the tank then starve them, stack bombs on them and send them towards a german tank.. then boom. Which of course meant a lot of dogs were shot.. They also took cats for the CIA and implented microphones in them.. but the cats would wander off and do their own thing rather than go where they wanted to listen.. all of these ideas are real, but ultimately given up on (thankfully) .. Peta would have had a field day with them back during that time.. 0_0
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by Ameena »

Ah yes, I've heard of all these. But the dog one went a bit wrong, apparently - I think it was the Russians who were training them, and so they trained them with Russian tanks. So when released into a battle, what did they do? Run toward the nearest Russian tank and blow it up (there was a trigger thingy sticking up out from the top of the dog's back where the explosive was attached, so the bomb would go off when the trigger was knocked against the tank as the dog went underneath).
At some point, pigeons were used in naval warfare - the pigeons were trained to peck at a speck on a bit of glass in order to receive a food reward. Then I think they were put into missiles or something and basically acted as the homing system - the pigeon would see a screen thing with a view of the sea, and when a ship came into view they'd start pecking at the image in hopes of food, which would guide the missile in that direction until it hit the ship and exploded. I don't know whether this was actually used in the end, or how successful it was if so.
I've also heard that dophins trained to detect mines, on being released "on duty" for the first time, being dolphins, were smart enough to just swim the hell away from there and bugger off out to sea ;).
I've heard all that on QI over the years - Stephen Fry explains it a bit better than me, though ;).
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Re: Non Standard Weaponry

Post by cowsmanaut »

The dolphins are still being trained.. and i heard about the pigeon guided missles.. it was 3 of them to deal with "error correction" but as far as I know they were not used.. they opted for a computer board in the end.. due to the time required to train the pigeons..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Pigeon

other links there to the dogs too
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