The Silly and Massive Dungeon Master Christmas Story 2006

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 6:50 pm

... more than a little distracted. She was glad that the fireball hadn't been closer, it may well have ignited the pocket of...

Post by **Ameena** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 7:04 pm

...methane which she's just deposited in the air, and which happened to also be floating just above the unconscious, and very hairy, Daroou. Stamm, meanwhile, had been slowly and lustfully attempting to...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 7:22 pm

...seduce Syra's chest with caresses and rubbing and even licking. He thought there might be some more wine in her locked wooden box - though he was aware she also had a nice pair of ...

Post by **Ameena** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 7:25 pm

...maracas hidden away somewhere. However, for now he was more interested in her gorgeous shiny...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 7:31 pm

... key that would open the locked chest. Hmm, perhaps if he simply slid his hand up ...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 11:32 am

the curve of her back, caressing her neck and then geeently into her rucksack and... "¡OUCH!" He got bitten by the tiny hampster that had already secreted itself in there earlier in order to...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:55 pm

...keep a close eye on her chest itself. What a heroic hamster, never thinking of the danger that could strike if...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 5:15 pm

that unstable and volatile FUL bottle at the bottom of the rucksack were to be unstoppered by a careless rodent. Still, the hamster was already drunk as a skunk and surely wouldnt even think about opening yet another bottle of Syra's perfume or ...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 9:50 am

... (deleted due to taste considerations). Stamm was also interested in those, but first he needed to get the key - perhaps if he used the hamster to...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:13 am

wrap it's tail around the key, while the thing was sucking on his finger. <CHING>
Stamm's finger, Hamster and Key were one so he slowly drew his hand out of the bag ...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:19 am

... and that's when he found out that Syra infact has a snake, a snake, a hoooorrible snaaaake, packed away. "Badgers, badgers badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, badgers, " sang Nabi, wondering if he should make some anti-venom for poor Stamm getting bitten, but deciding instead on conjuring up some...

ian_scho · Post by **ian_scho** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 10:25 am

Mon Antidote (with extract of Badger - as he found that when squeezed they were quite potent). The Adder meanwhile, which was attemtping to swallow key-hamster-finger ...

Post by **Ameena** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 3:21 pm

..., suddenly found that the hamster's "tail" was in fact another, much smaller, much more poisonous snake, and which also happened to be one of the very rare, uber-deadly snake-eating-snakes - not even Boo, a (very small) giant space hamster, had a tail any longer than a dinky little stumpy thing like any other hamster. As the snake-eating snake munched its way through the adder, little Boo ran off and continued chewing his way through the last of the socks, leaving Stamm to...

Post by **Gambit37** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:47 pm

...ponder the nature of snake cannibalism, unaware that a plot altering interdimensional portal was opening directly adjacent to his fat lardy arse.

Post by **Ameena** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:51 pm

However, because his arse was so fat, it was sucked into the portal and he became stuck, with his aforementioned fat lardy arse wedged tightly in, an experience which reminded him of the time he got stuck whilst going to the toilet somewhere in...

Post by **Gambit37** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 7:05 pm

the Unseen University, where he'd had delusions of an academic life that unravelled quickly when he realised he was in yet another ficitonal word that bore no relationship to the one he'd been conceived in.

Post by **PaulH** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:43 pm

It reminded him of the time that Daroou passed wind so loudly it frightened the Dragon fourteen floors below, causing himself to spontaneously combust in a rather exciting ball of flame.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:11 am

Meanwhile, Syra was simply pointing and lauhging with hysterical terror at the huge, rotund and frankly rather tasteless apparition that was coming down the tunnel towards the distracted group - a ...

Post by **Gambit37** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:51 pm

huge obese and smelly fellow wearing a disgusting tuxedo covered in vomit, with tiny hands and feet poking from his suit, followed by an odd looking man dressed unconvincingly as a washer woman carrying a stinking bucket.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:09 pm

"Oh my goodness," said Syra beside herself with worry, "what is that - no, I mean behind the two strange people?"

Post by **Gambit37** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:40 pm

Gando, who had been left out of the story for sometime, squeaked from behind her: "Oh, no, run, get out of here -- I can handle the fat guy, I can even handle the unconvincing washer woman, but I can't handle...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 9:46 pm

"...actually, curtains now I come to think on it - terrible things, they Stryker me then wrap me up and choke me don'cherkno'. But definitely a close second is the evil, foul smelling, pustulance that is that ..."

Post by **Gambit37** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:30 pm

vast and rancid Badger of Doom(tm) currently bounding down the corridor behind fatty and Mildred!" He turned, grabbed Syra's flappy halter top and dragged her back down the corridor as the Badger of Doom...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 10:43 pm

...thundered towards its summoner, master, and master villian of the piece - Nabi the Prophet! "Wahahahaha," he crowed, hopping around in ghoulish glee, "I will make millions in profit from transcript of this silly tale - who do you think led you fools into this well, and who do you think will now dispatch you by..."

Post by **cowsmanaut** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:42 am

..his powerful flatulence of death! Run as far as you wish, climb the walls, hide in any crevace, it will find you and then you will understand that...

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:54 am

...truely the poison cloud is mightier than the fireball! Wahahahahhahahah *cough* no Snuggles, not now, not at me, not when we are so close to..."

Post by **Gambit37** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:35 am

achieving domination of this bizarre tale!" Suddenly, as Snuggles was joyfully releasing gas at the meeting of his master, the large vomit covered man and his bucket carrying sidekick stopped running and turned to face the hairy fart bringer of death.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:37 am

"At last, we'll find out who they are," said Azizi, nudging Wu-Tse sharply in the ribs, "I was buggered if I could work it out!"

Post by **Gambit37** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:40 am

The monstrous badger stopped it's merry flatulence and turned to face the disgusting, beachball shaped aristo (who was busy throwing up into the bucket that had been placed in front of him) and lolled it's tongue in his direction, before it turned about and aimed it's bottom at the stinking man.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:51 am

"We're all doomed," said Sonja observing the horror, and turning to Elija said "run, run back to the hoTel, run ya fool - but first, kiss me you big haired lion of a man," and so saying she wrapped her arms around him and planted a big sloppy wet kiss on his lips.