Thanks for the input everyone
----------------------------------
@Linflas:
That sucks indeed. Sounds like we're in a similar position. What is it about us creative types and the mid-life crisis?
The thing about qualifications seems a little different for me though. I do seem to have had quite a bit of luck getting interviews for good jobs, even though I have 0 higher-education qualifications. In digital/web design, the skills and talents we can demonstrate are more important than the bit of paper. You do some commercial artwork in your free time now: is there enough time for you to work on that so that you could eventually do it full time?
As for learning something completely new: yes, it would be possible to do that if I had enough money behind me. Unfortunately at the moment there's no government money for this sort of thing for someone my age, esepcially someone who's is already employable.
----------------------------------
@Beowuuf:
Whoo, thanks, some great advice there. I've done that circles exercise in my head before, but easily forget it; I must do it on paper and *really* understand the results.
To answer about the interviews: I got them from a guy I know via Twitter. He's a UX designer at a startup, and works in a building with lots of small web companies all funded by same VC. He was looking for a designer, I responded, and he setup three informal interviews. I was really badly prepared as I thought they were more just an informal "meet and chat", and as I've not had anything like that for a long time, I got nervous and presented myself really badly. (This wasn't just my own perception, he told me the same in feedback later.)
I think a lot of the problem was that, yes, I did project the wrong impressiona, largely because I'm actually confused about what my skillset really is, and what I'm best at. So I was unable to give them positive noises about these roles because deep down I wasn't really sure I could do them, or indeed, I probably didn't really want them either! So yes, I was probably projecting something negative. I did have a third interview which was more positive, but that was for my "integrator" coding skills (HTML,CSS, a bit of Javascript) -- so it wasn't all bad; it's just I was more interested in the design roles, despite that I didn't seem to want them! WTF is wrong with me!? LOL!
----------------------------------
@Ian Scho:
Yeah, you're right, I need to get perspective. Two bad interviews are probably more to do with what I mentioned to Beo above, so I shouldn't dwell on their failure really.
You're very kind about the "game designer" comments, but really I'm not. My only evidence is years of tinkering with different engines and remixes of "prior art". All the stuff I mess about with, especially the DM stuff, isn't really game design, it's just adapting previous work. I'm still trying to really understand where my strengths and enjoyment lie, and it purely comes down to
the process of creating something out of nothing. It almost doesn't matter if I finish the thing, or what the thing is that I'm working on: it's the process of creativity itself which is the reward. This is probably why I'm unable to finish any of my hobby projects, because once my creative curiosity about a particular method or new skill is satisfied, I tend to get a bit bored...
----------------------------------
@LordBones:
I'm completely self-taught too, and while I think it can get us to interesting places in a career, it can seem to hold us back when going for the higher positions and more "responsible" jobs. Qualifications do matter in many cases (clearly for jobs such as doctor, lawyer, etc.), but creatives in tech/digital industries can mostly get by without them -- to a point.
----------------------------------
Everyone
Primarily I want to own the creative work that I do. I'm actually quite tired of doing all this work for other people and having to "hand it over". I've been investigating some options on how I might create and own my own creative work (and make it commercial.) I'm tinkering with ideas, but I'll put that in another post when I'm closer to a formulated idea. There may be things that people here can with -- and make money out of too
In the meantime however, I do need paying work and I can only get work based on the skills I've got. And that mainly means a combination of web design / development.
Luckily however, I had several leads come up yesterday for various different roles, and some freelance opportunities too. I'm now following those up and will let you all know the outcome....
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your advice