Dungeon Master Forum

"Yeah, but then you escaped by jumping out of the window while I was left to pay for your boxed set of Felicity with nothing but a worthless copper coin." Hisssa replied, hurt.

"Folks, can we PLEASE get serious?", Zed stated loudly, with all the authority he could muster.

Everyone stared in surprise at the mustachioed man-mouse who was not known for his forceful outbursts.

"Ok, is anyone currently bleeding?", he asked, looking earnestly from one to another.

The champions inspected each other for cuts and other injuries, with Wu-Tse getting a little annoyed that she did not seem to be getting the same level of attention as the other female champions were.

Just as it seemed that everyone was OK, Halk looked concerned after peering inside his loincloth and said:

"I appear to have an axe wound."

"Oh, so that's what you call it, Mr.Small!" sniggered Tiggy, slightly tipsy on Trolin Tequila.

The dawning of realisation entered briefly into Halk's mind was that in fact after all these years he, was a she...

...but no, the idea was quickly dispensed on remembering the confusion over seeing Wu Tse dressed in a full latex bodysuit with built in 'protrusion': no room for two questionable genders in this party!

Outside the door, Zyx rubbed his hands with glee as he said to his companion, "my dear Sophia, Theron wished me to delay the champions (and it is working so well hehe) however I feel only if we combine our evil champion defeating resources can we truly kil- I mean pois- I mean delay them enough...WITH DEATH!!!"

Sophia blinked at Zyx and furrowed her brow, then opened her eyes wide -- all round and eyey -- incredulous at the sheer evillness of her fellow insanity blanket.

"Can't we just confound them with a confusing conflux of cranial conundrums and classic challenges until they calmly kill themsevles to achieve circumvention?" asked Sophia in return over Zyx's laughing and hand-wringing.

Zyx grinned madly at her and winked his wet wonky eyes, "I like the way you think, you nefarious, nasty, nether-regional noggin nobber!"

"Umm, I'll take that as a compliment," she said, backing away to create some intricate mis-direction as far from Zyx as possible.

Meanwhile, back in the main hall, the Trolin was trying to hide the now bloodless knife under some scatter cushions and the dancing Magenta Worm was now sitting on a rather plush seat while being lapdanced by a rather unattractive vexirk masquerading as Librasulus -- in drag.

While searching through the myriads of pockets in his cloak, Alex suddenly discovered a deep, bleeding wound; raising his eyebrows in shock, he said: "Great, first, nobody mentions me in this story, and now it seems like I am the vic-", but he fell to the floor without finishing his sentence, suddenly being the cold, emotionless body that Syra always saw in him.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" she exclaimed, "have a murderer in our midst!", jumping up quickly and head-butting the trolin who had quietly returned from his knife-hiding and was leaning over her with a strange lecherous look on his face.

The trolin fell backwards, directly landing on Gando who was busy inspecting his favourite toothpick with a wide eye.

"Ooooh, my foots!" Gando yelped as the Trolin stamped on his tiny toes, flailing as he went down and grabbing Daroous hairy things for support.

Daroou let out a deafening yell - of pain or pleasure, no one was quite sure.

"Don't grab my lovely new dreadlocks, you gruesome blue meany!" he yelped and promptly lopped off the Trolin's head with his special Christmas sword.

"Can we stop havng an orgy while Alex lies here dead," cried Mophus plaintively, but then Zyx's mask started falling off and he was forced to flee from the room through the secret door.

"This isn't an orgy," chimed in Leif, "I told you, we're an anarco-sydicalist commune -- and we're just, you know... communing."

Suspecting that Zyx was behind the whole murder, Leyla darted after him, running through the secret door just a moment before it closed.

"Teehee," said Mophus as his Zyx mask fell of, "I had no idea how I was going to get you alone for some 'christmas cheer' - now we are alone, with two masks, so I can be zyx and you can be me!"

Leyla screamed and punched him sharply in his scary grinning mouth, watching him fall down the steps into the darkness below as she scrabbled with the latch on the door that had closed behind them.

"Two down one trapped," said Zyx outside the door to the drunk Beowuuf, "but that is not important, what is is that you must go in there with these two goblets and give one to one of the champions, remembering that the brew that is true is in the goblet of the hobbit, while the phial that was vile was poured into the gourd of the lord."

"O.o?" said Beowuuf, his feeble brain trying to comprehend Zyx's evil gobble-a-duke.

"Look," said Zyx, irritated from poison when handling his harmless rats, "its quite easy - the long container of the short retainer contains the pure wine of the dirty vine, while the fluted glass of the lordly ass has a black-hearted brew from a hart, bat and shrew!"