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Nabi noted the steadily heated interaction between the two heroes and said conversatorily "I've heard a ferret can incapacitate a dragon when inserted up the rectum (although it'd be polite to ask first, of course)."

"No-one's inserting me *anywhere*!" squeaked a small voice from beneath Gothmog's cape.

Nabi couldnt remember seeing a talking ferret with a '37' tattooed on top of it's head as part of Gothmog's inventory, but then his vision was somewhat blurred.

Mophus managed to stop his licivious licivilising long enough to loquaciously eulogise the merits of the 37th plan, but why it must certainly needs be set aside for a new 38th idea - unfortunately no one spoke portuguese so his talking went unheeded.

"Alright!", exclaimed Tiggy, "What is this plan with the ferret all about?"

"Easy," says Gothmog, rolling his shoulders, hushing to a whisper and leaning in to the crowd, "while I'm telling you my brilliant plan and distracting the lot of you, Felicia the Ferret will crawl down my leg, up Stamm's back and open his backpack straps allowing Edward the Duck to swoop down and hook my blasted tankard YOU GULLIBLE MUPPETS!"

Stamm turned around, but it was already too late - Felicia was already running through the crack, holding the tankard triumphantly.

"Was that a ferret running away with a tankard chased by an angry duck?" asked Hawk, moving his eyepatch from eye to eye before he remembered that he wasn't a pirate despite the ear ring, so he must be wearing a barbarian jockstrap on his head.

After another slip, tumble, and crash, Linflassuddenly joined the party by falling down the well on top of everybody else, and as he looked around in mild but drunken surprise, he muttered...
"Oh! So that's what happened to that huge big well I saw on the way to the pub!"

"Linflas is gay!" said a concussed Gothmog giggling, then looking sad at the looks he got, continued, "I mean, he seems really as happy as I am to be down here in the well with all of you muppets!"

After having a big green elf land on his head, Zed had a moment of inspiration and decided to see if he could squeeze through the crack in the well wall, ferret first.

"But I ssssstill have to go to the loo! Neverhasss my bladder hurt ssssooo much!", whined Hissssa.

Hisssa's problem was that after drinking alcopops such as vodka-melun, every time his bladder would work over-drive.

'I an scho pished' he thought to himself and promptly fell over.

Fortuntely Hisssa's descent was broken by an already filled bota thrown on the floor previously - not so fortunate for all of the others at the bottom of the well.

"GAH!" screamed a drenched Chani, "that does it, if no one else is going to check out that crack, I will"

Meanwhile a passer-by above paused for a moment to see a gueyser of liquid shoot up from the well and then change to a lovely golden shower of rain.

Meanwhile, Daroou had sat down in the corner and was drunkenly trying to practise his counting...
"Wun...tooo...freeee...faawww...fyve...zyx..."

Chani shot passed him and hurled herself at the crack in the wall on top, over Zed, but had mininimum chance of budging the the weight of the rubble on her own.

"I have a great idea!" said Alex to Chani, pulling his hoodie down, "why don't get a torch and set fire to the oil so it blows up - I like fire!"

With all the action occuring in the insanely small well bottom, no-one noticed as a red-haired warrior pulled himself from under a squashed melon and exclaimed in a muffled breath: "With so much Guinness in my guts, it's no wonder I have an over-stretched chocolate asterisk."

The grey lord looked down to the bottom of the well and called out "Is there a George down there? I'm looking for George. Gilbert Godfried is looking for him"

Halk looked up and merely belched loudly, then let out a huge, bellowing laugh which echoed right through Wuuf's head, since the poor canine was standing about three steps in front of him at the time.

"You know what!" said Chani annoyed, climbing into the oozy smelly crack, "you..you...muppets..can stay here and turn this place into a toilet, and then Alex can set fire to you all!" - and with that she disappeared, as much to escape Gothmog's looks of love.

Syra, who had been thinking intently to herself, suddenly spoke with delight: "I just realised that a meadow full of quantum particles wearing head apparrel would be an atom hat field!"

Gothmog was almost distracted by Syra's wonderfully surreal mind, but realised that he needed to go into the crack to follow his true love - his tankard carrying ferret.

Stamm on the other hand, wasn't concerned with Syra's surreal mind but was rather more interested in her very real soft elf bosom, which he suddenly lunged for inelegantly.

"Why's Stamm drunkenly lunging for my backpack and not my chest?" asked Syra, having hoped the dwarf would have a rummage around, since she had a vi potion stored inside the wooden box.

Stamm unfortunately didn't get as far as Syra; he slipped on a damp, smelly undergarment that now clung to his boot and refused to be shaken off.

Meanwhile Chani, Halk, Gothmog and Zed all tried to get further into the crack, finding the blockages suddenly being removed from within.