Dungeon Master Forum

Do prdele! I will bathe after combat - I know how hard it is to get the smell of tramp blood off my clothes.

I don't speak Czech in case you are wondering, I just googled it! I hope it is not too strong!

I respect the way you hold your blade. Without opposable thumbs it must be very difficult.

oh_brother wrote:Do prdele!

Lol, OK, I'm stunned! Yes, it IS relatively strong. Although the meaning doesn't fit in the context where you used it (it is an exclamation used when you e.g. hit your nail with a hammer, lol). Erm, I wouldn't use it in a presence of a lady... but I can use it when talking to you, you scummy pirates, drunken sailors, lazy bastards and swearing dockers!

oh_brother wrote:I respect the way you hold your blade. Without opposable thumbs it must be very difficult.

No, it's actually more comfortable. And, more importantly, it will help me to remove your bollocks, however small they are!

Looking at the front section of your head, where anyone else would have a face, enables me to understand the phrase "Darwin's Nightmare"!

I doubt even Darwin could explain your existance!

Now stop standing on your hands and face me... oh wait.. that is your face?

well moo "master" show yer own! i know ye are red and white under that hood!

Don't dare?
Go into a dungeon you hate the most and do it there, then someone may even play your's after that!

cowsmanaut wrote:Now stop standing on your hands and face me... oh wait.. that is your face?

No, this is not my face - it's the mirror you're looking into!

I think you should change your beautician - he's doing his best, but it's simply not enough!

(@Duckman: sorry for not replying to your insult, but I just don't understand it, you're probably talking too Piratish for me )

Really? it was good enough for your mother.. you have my eyes.

Not that they've done you much good, you can't even tell when you're beaten!

Like eggs, I'm only beaten to a smooth consistency, improving. You're like the shell - cracked and discarded!


Didn't Theseus already slay you? I'm appy to fiish the job (

like duckman, let's pick on cows and minotaur references!)

Appy? indeed, you're little more than an appetizer.. I crave for a real challenge!

The only bull I see around here is the load of bull you shovel about your skills as a swordsman!

You might as well be using a shovel instead of a sword, you're so inept.

So tell me, who is using the family brain cell at the moment?

Obviously not you, if you cannot remember. My family's braincells are still in their heads, as are mine.


Our heads are still on their shoulders, which is a boast you will not make much longer!

Actually, mine's on my neck...

You must be some sort of deformed hunchback. Let me end the suffering of your existence!

That is true: dying from laughing at your existence.

Thou droning fetid rectal wart!

Fair dos, you're right!

rectal warts indeed, a subject I'm sure you're very familiar with.

Let me know when you're done conversing with your anus. I'll be sharpening the edge of my blade.

Stop claiming to be something you're not - my anus is perfectly attached to myself, thank you.

I don't need a sword to beat you - my wit could cleave you in two with barely an effort from me.

Just because you have Oscar Wilde on your payroll does not make you witty by association, however!


I will match wits with your wit leaving him witless, then use my wit against your actual wits, leaving you at your wit's end!

Did you say "Twit's End?" That's your home town, that is.

Why don't you sit down and give your mind a rest?

I only sit down on my throne as your peasant taxes are collected for me.

You see a piece of old crust, with like blue mould all over it? That's your dinner, that is. That's what you have at Christmas. That's your special birthday meal.

(I love History today!)

My heart is clogged, filled with sorrow and pain, twisted upon itself like an ouroboros serpent eating itself out of despair. The blood congeals, slow and sluggish, the organ turned useless to its function by the challenge presented of simply living. And that's your brain, that is. That's your brain at its best. That's your brain doing sums.

(me too.

You use stabalisers! (another appropriate History today.)

Or, for anyone else - your mum.

I had to sit here, wasting my time, reading through this drivel, (did I say drivel?), DRIBBLE,
from you toothless wonders slobbering your wasted insults on those who can only hear their own BELCHINGS.

I must say, however, that I've enjoyed the irony of the irrepressibly irritating.

For anyone not seen it, here is a good starter!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UMedd03JCA

See that lump of slime? The one on level five. The one flung by a slime devil? That's you that is. That is you in your best going out clothes. That's your ticket to good time.

The artifacts found in the dungeon have been a remarkable source of archaeological delight. For example, once such device, colloquially terms a 'magic box', is apparently a container sealed to stop the unwary from releasing what is within. When this box is opened, whatever ephemeral contents had once been held are freed, and the effect is to strike all those around rigid, frozen to the spot unable to do the tasks they were performing a mere moment ago.

And that's what happens when you take off your jumper. That's people seeing your non-existant muscles and smelling your BO, that is. They just stand there, frozen, not knowing whether to laugh or gag, they do. And they make a noise like 'BEEGH BEEGH BEEGH BEEGH', and then you think they are speaking to you, cause that's your language that is, that's how you speak. 'BEEGH BEEGH BEEGH BEEGH' you say. The same thing also happens when you take off your pants.

You're all such nerds that you feel the need to even make your insults about the nerdy game you're all nerdily obsessed with.

(Lol, somehow I have achieved epic awesome and epic fail with the same post. Woohoo!)

Erm, I find the last posts a bit chaotic, so, if you don't mind, I'll start with a new insult, from a scratch:

Your father was a shepherd, and you mother was one of his sheep!

Sophia wrote:You're all such nerds that you feel the need to even make your insults about the nerdy game you're all nerdily obsessed with.

au contraire, I think Sophia pwned us all

All of you would mumble less, if you'd only remove your 'booger encrusted' fingers from your mouths.