87
The tour guide sucks though his teeth. "Well, really, the tour sucks. For one gold coin I could skip all the boring bits, and take you right to the dragon lair at the end.
The party nod enthusiastically, and the tour guide let's the cart quickly trundle along without any comment or care.
Finally, you end up at the 'dragon cave', which ends up being the tour guide's house.
"You see, the wife is a real dragon," the tour guide says, almost apologising for the trick. The tour guide then almost gets choked by an annoyed and skin-flint Stamm, except the guide really does have a mean looking wife and the party decide to hold Stamm back. If Lord Chaos had only utilised troilin wives instead of the lazier husbands for DM no-one would have gotten passed level 3!
Luckily, she is too busy trying to spruce up the home to pay you much attention. She keeps tutting and sighing at the horrible green slime and all the captured weaponry placed up on the walls.
If the party feel the trolin wife could do with a a nice dress or *ahem* other womanly wear to take her mind off it all, go to 92
If the party should offer the trolin wife any nice home accessories for her place, go to 93
Otherwise, the tour guide shrugs - apparently, one gold coin does not get you the ride back. While he happily trundles off back to the lift, the party are left to walk back on foot - of course, falling down a pit on the way.
Go to 60
The Silly and once Christmas-y Choose Your Own Adventure
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88
The Trolin players seem quite happy with the donations, playing a new theme for each one. Oddly, the playing has a magical effect - for each song sung, one of the party is restored if they have been wounded or even half-killed (or even reduced to skeletons or crispy remains).
While the party could happily stay here forever, especially given the terrible muzak of the lift, the party realise that as heavy as the portcullis is, the trolins are quite capable of lifting it up, and many of them are still armed with clubs. After all, the gold coins can only last so long!
To return the party to the lift, go to 83
The Trolin players seem quite happy with the donations, playing a new theme for each one. Oddly, the playing has a magical effect - for each song sung, one of the party is restored if they have been wounded or even half-killed (or even reduced to skeletons or crispy remains).
While the party could happily stay here forever, especially given the terrible muzak of the lift, the party realise that as heavy as the portcullis is, the trolins are quite capable of lifting it up, and many of them are still armed with clubs. After all, the gold coins can only last so long!
To return the party to the lift, go to 83
89
The party think the band is pretty good, and Azizi decides that she wouldn't mind being a groupie to a famous band.
"We have this ticket to the Battle of the Bands!" she says, making doe-y eyes at the troiln with the biggest guitar.
"Wait, that's only for one person!" says a trolin with an oboe. "What about the rest of us?"
"Seeya suckers!" says the guitar player, snatching the ticket out of poor Azizi's hands and running off, dropping his guitar in his excitement.
"Hmm, well that was unfortunate," says Azizi, brushing away a tear. She then realises she is saying it to a bunch of very annoyed Trolins. Luckily, Hissssa suggests one of the party might be able to play the guitar as a replacement.
A trolin scarily easily lifts the portcullis enough to slide the guitar through, and the item makes a tour of the group. Sadly, all the party can play is, by and large, Stairway to Corbums.
Luckily, by the time it has done its full tour, the trolin group have already realised they prefer it without the annoying guitarist, and meanwhile Alex has found a Sar coin lodged in the body of the instrument.
Everyone feels happy, and the party decide to leave to the strains of 'Take My Breath Away with a Club' from the film 'Top Crossbow' while they still can.
Go to 83
The party think the band is pretty good, and Azizi decides that she wouldn't mind being a groupie to a famous band.
"We have this ticket to the Battle of the Bands!" she says, making doe-y eyes at the troiln with the biggest guitar.
"Wait, that's only for one person!" says a trolin with an oboe. "What about the rest of us?"
"Seeya suckers!" says the guitar player, snatching the ticket out of poor Azizi's hands and running off, dropping his guitar in his excitement.
"Hmm, well that was unfortunate," says Azizi, brushing away a tear. She then realises she is saying it to a bunch of very annoyed Trolins. Luckily, Hissssa suggests one of the party might be able to play the guitar as a replacement.
A trolin scarily easily lifts the portcullis enough to slide the guitar through, and the item makes a tour of the group. Sadly, all the party can play is, by and large, Stairway to Corbums.
Luckily, by the time it has done its full tour, the trolin group have already realised they prefer it without the annoying guitarist, and meanwhile Alex has found a Sar coin lodged in the body of the instrument.
Everyone feels happy, and the party decide to leave to the strains of 'Take My Breath Away with a Club' from the film 'Top Crossbow' while they still can.
Go to 83
92
The trolin guide looks shocked at the insult, and is almost about to batter the party to death.
"Don't you dare!" says his wife happily and greedily grabbing the clothes and trying them on. The result is...well, the result it....you see, the result..well, it's...
The result is indescribable, although to give a hint of the sight, suffice to say many of the champions lose any food they may have gained recently. Sadly, it only gets worse as the trolin guide sees his wife.
"Vera! You look so...different!" he says, running up and smooching his startled wife amourously. The party try not look in that direction, which is harder than it sounds, like trying not to rubberneck at the scene of a crash, or not watch Big Brother if it is on your TV at the time
"Umm, look, give us five minutes...maybe ten, then we can head back" says the tour guide as he and his wife disappear. As one the party decide to simply make their own way back. What with their distracted minds and the treacherous nature of the dungeon, it takes about half a minute before they fall into a deep dark pit.
Go to 60
The trolin guide looks shocked at the insult, and is almost about to batter the party to death.
"Don't you dare!" says his wife happily and greedily grabbing the clothes and trying them on. The result is...well, the result it....you see, the result..well, it's...
The result is indescribable, although to give a hint of the sight, suffice to say many of the champions lose any food they may have gained recently. Sadly, it only gets worse as the trolin guide sees his wife.
"Vera! You look so...different!" he says, running up and smooching his startled wife amourously. The party try not look in that direction, which is harder than it sounds, like trying not to rubberneck at the scene of a crash, or not watch Big Brother if it is on your TV at the time
"Umm, look, give us five minutes...maybe ten, then we can head back" says the tour guide as he and his wife disappear. As one the party decide to simply make their own way back. What with their distracted minds and the treacherous nature of the dungeon, it takes about half a minute before they fall into a deep dark pit.
Go to 60
Last edited by beowuuf on Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.
93
"Finally!" says the wife, "Gerald, why couldn't you find anything like this?" The wife greedily takes everything the party can give, and happy dumps a whole pile of weapons from the walls and furniture at their feet.
"Take this junk away," she says as she dances around with glee. The party look at the stuff, and realise this is no ordinary tat. Four of these weapons are infact Heroic Weapons(tm) that any champion would happily give up both his or her arms to weild* The trolin guide is slightly put out, but perhaps realises that a happy wife means he can nip off to the tavern later without comment.
With everyone happy, the tour guide leads the party back to the lift again
Go to 81
*A real champion can still weild a great weapon between his teeth, so that's not an issue
"Finally!" says the wife, "Gerald, why couldn't you find anything like this?" The wife greedily takes everything the party can give, and happy dumps a whole pile of weapons from the walls and furniture at their feet.
"Take this junk away," she says as she dances around with glee. The party look at the stuff, and realise this is no ordinary tat. Four of these weapons are infact Heroic Weapons(tm) that any champion would happily give up both his or her arms to weild* The trolin guide is slightly put out, but perhaps realises that a happy wife means he can nip off to the tavern later without comment.
With everyone happy, the tour guide leads the party back to the lift again
Go to 81
*A real champion can still weild a great weapon between his teeth, so that's not an issue
94
One of the champions produces a Sar coin, somewhat begrudgingly ('you can get 24 glasses of frothing Thunderfoot beer with one of these babies!').
"Wait!" shouted Halk, "I know a trick with these coin slots", and produced a dirty old 100 Spanish peseta coin. "It has the same weight and size as a Sar coin, and I always ended up with a pocketful of the buggers when returning from 'la costa' on me hols." Dubious looks were returned, but it was true. The bottom of the champion's cupboards were full of now devalued and defunct Lira, Francs, Pesetas and even that stinky Pound.
Halk inserted the coin. "It'll never work", murmoured Chani. The sound of a chink as the coin hit more coins, and then, curiously, it must have displaced more coins as the sound of a wonderful tinkling of small pieces of metal falling and rolling could be heard. Coins rolled our from under the door.
"Yes!" shouted Halk, "Bugger" said Alex - the first to notice the dodgy denominations of all of the coins. "Someone's tried that one before."
The Sar coin was shoved in the slot and the door duly rolled up.
Best go to 95, and forget about buying the champions a round at the end of this sorry tale.
One of the champions produces a Sar coin, somewhat begrudgingly ('you can get 24 glasses of frothing Thunderfoot beer with one of these babies!').
"Wait!" shouted Halk, "I know a trick with these coin slots", and produced a dirty old 100 Spanish peseta coin. "It has the same weight and size as a Sar coin, and I always ended up with a pocketful of the buggers when returning from 'la costa' on me hols." Dubious looks were returned, but it was true. The bottom of the champion's cupboards were full of now devalued and defunct Lira, Francs, Pesetas and even that stinky Pound.
Halk inserted the coin. "It'll never work", murmoured Chani. The sound of a chink as the coin hit more coins, and then, curiously, it must have displaced more coins as the sound of a wonderful tinkling of small pieces of metal falling and rolling could be heard. Coins rolled our from under the door.
"Yes!" shouted Halk, "Bugger" said Alex - the first to notice the dodgy denominations of all of the coins. "Someone's tried that one before."
The Sar coin was shoved in the slot and the door duly rolled up.
Best go to 95, and forget about buying the champions a round at the end of this sorry tale.
95
There is a long corridor beyond, with some wall text at the start.
THE SEVEN TRIALS TO FREEDOM
It was a it worrying, it looked like a dragon's claw had scratched the writing.
"Haha, looks like Chaos got hoisted by his own pitard!" said Iaido, gesturing with his samurai sword enthusiastically.
"Sounds painful, and doens't help us much," said a degected Gothmog. "Anyone fancy that oscillot stuffing party after all?"
The party ignored Gothmog and walked onwards. An invisible teleporter blocked their way at one point, and as they stepped infront of it, a grinding noise indicated a false wall being revealed to their left.
"It says 'the Test of Nature' " said Alex. The party looked aroudn to see what Alex was looking at. "No, you won't see it in the dungeon, it appeared in white writing below the screen when we turned around."
The party shrugged and walked forward, finding themselves standing in a beautiful garden with trees and creepers and lots of different flowers and herbs. Suddenly, the party heard a nasty crashing sound coming towards them fro mthe undergrowth.
"Uh-oh, I know what we have to do!" said Halk pretending to be dynamic, "we must have to gather some of these plants to help defeat the monster - quick!"
If Syra is still with the group, go to 96
If not, then the party can either gather the most medicinal plants in case of poisons - go to 97 - or gather the most offensive looking plants to use as weapons - go to 98
There is a long corridor beyond, with some wall text at the start.
THE SEVEN TRIALS TO FREEDOM
It was a it worrying, it looked like a dragon's claw had scratched the writing.
"Haha, looks like Chaos got hoisted by his own pitard!" said Iaido, gesturing with his samurai sword enthusiastically.
"Sounds painful, and doens't help us much," said a degected Gothmog. "Anyone fancy that oscillot stuffing party after all?"
The party ignored Gothmog and walked onwards. An invisible teleporter blocked their way at one point, and as they stepped infront of it, a grinding noise indicated a false wall being revealed to their left.
"It says 'the Test of Nature' " said Alex. The party looked aroudn to see what Alex was looking at. "No, you won't see it in the dungeon, it appeared in white writing below the screen when we turned around."
The party shrugged and walked forward, finding themselves standing in a beautiful garden with trees and creepers and lots of different flowers and herbs. Suddenly, the party heard a nasty crashing sound coming towards them fro mthe undergrowth.
"Uh-oh, I know what we have to do!" said Halk pretending to be dynamic, "we must have to gather some of these plants to help defeat the monster - quick!"
If Syra is still with the group, go to 96
If not, then the party can either gather the most medicinal plants in case of poisons - go to 97 - or gather the most offensive looking plants to use as weapons - go to 98
97
Mophus quickly hit the ground and placed his expert herb sniffing nose just centimeters from the grass. Within seconds the highly tuned receptors within his nasal cavity were transmitting signals to his brain.... Niiiyyiyyiyyiiiiice
"What you got?", asked a somewhat peeved Wuuf, whose canine sniffing capacity should have exceeded that of a human, were it not for that Death Knight's groin sniffing accident back in DM I.
"It's a special herb called 'Wotchyanow', kind of like Dill really. I found it especially useful when crushed in a morter and applied on singed eyebrows. After 5 years of application they grow back with vigour."
"Ohhh" said an impressed Wuuf, "it could come in useful if we come in contact with a fireball throwing Dragon."
"Ehhh... I occasionally chop a bit up and add it to my pork chops. It tastes real nice but I've never seen it actually reanimate one."
Next was Alex, examining the glowing fungus that was providing the light for all of the fauna in this part of the dungeon. "Could this stuff be useful?" he inquired to Chani. The sum of his horticultural experience was as a child picking up and inhaling from the wrong end other people's cigarette ends in a bar. "Sure, but don't put it in your pocket", she replied. Then hissed to him "It'll make you sterile..."
After some deliberation Alex discretely shoved some in old Gando's backpack and then washed his hands for the first time in 3 years.
Finally it was Daroou, poor simple Daroou. 'Medicinal plants' thought Daroou. 'Stuff that stops you from bleeding', 'Green bits for covering seeping wounds', 'Roots for sucking on for bad teeth'.
He then grabbed a handful of large green leaves. "Dey could come in useful later. I've seen Syra use these dock leaves for wiping... Ehhhh... Cleaning her..."
At that point the rustling crescendoed. Bet you`re glad to move on to 99.
Mophus quickly hit the ground and placed his expert herb sniffing nose just centimeters from the grass. Within seconds the highly tuned receptors within his nasal cavity were transmitting signals to his brain.... Niiiyyiyyiyyiiiiice
"What you got?", asked a somewhat peeved Wuuf, whose canine sniffing capacity should have exceeded that of a human, were it not for that Death Knight's groin sniffing accident back in DM I.
"It's a special herb called 'Wotchyanow', kind of like Dill really. I found it especially useful when crushed in a morter and applied on singed eyebrows. After 5 years of application they grow back with vigour."
"Ohhh" said an impressed Wuuf, "it could come in useful if we come in contact with a fireball throwing Dragon."
"Ehhh... I occasionally chop a bit up and add it to my pork chops. It tastes real nice but I've never seen it actually reanimate one."
Next was Alex, examining the glowing fungus that was providing the light for all of the fauna in this part of the dungeon. "Could this stuff be useful?" he inquired to Chani. The sum of his horticultural experience was as a child picking up and inhaling from the wrong end other people's cigarette ends in a bar. "Sure, but don't put it in your pocket", she replied. Then hissed to him "It'll make you sterile..."
After some deliberation Alex discretely shoved some in old Gando's backpack and then washed his hands for the first time in 3 years.
Finally it was Daroou, poor simple Daroou. 'Medicinal plants' thought Daroou. 'Stuff that stops you from bleeding', 'Green bits for covering seeping wounds', 'Roots for sucking on for bad teeth'.
He then grabbed a handful of large green leaves. "Dey could come in useful later. I've seen Syra use these dock leaves for wiping... Ehhhh... Cleaning her..."
At that point the rustling crescendoed. Bet you`re glad to move on to 99.
98
Wuuf was on the case straight away. "Here's a really offensive plant, it looks just like a lady's-"
"We need plants that can hurt people!" clarified Halk.
"-boot," finished Wuuf, waving around the famous Italiaweed with it's steleto like main stem and pointed single leaf that could make a person break out in a rash in five seconds flat. "Oh bum," said Wuuf as he realised he'd just picked it by pulling the leaf.
"I have a Throbbing Petunia," said Mophus with a big grin.
Leyla offered to take care of it, and seemed disappointed when Mophus gave her a bulging yellow flower. "Sorry, I thought you mean you had a red hot-"
"Can people stop making innuendo filled comments and look for plants!" asked Halk.
"-throbbing penunia, that fires fireballs. THis one will only do lightning," finished Leyla, looking across at Halk confused.
"I have big stick! Thick too!" said Daroou. Everyone looked at Daroou. Daroou looked at everyone. Everyone looked at Halk. Halk looked at Daroou. Darooou lifted the large branch and waved it around vaguely wondering why everyone had looked at him.
"I hate you all," said Halk. Then he noticed something promising on the ground. "Hey, that's great! I've got a pair of blue bulging bulbs!"
Daroou smashed Halk on the head with his stick. "That just disgusting," said Daroou. Halk gave Daroou a hurt look. "You never handle bulbs without gloves," explained Daroou, "now your hands stink long time."
Luckily, at that point the rustling crescendoed. Go to 99 and face the challenge.
Wuuf was on the case straight away. "Here's a really offensive plant, it looks just like a lady's-"
"We need plants that can hurt people!" clarified Halk.
"-boot," finished Wuuf, waving around the famous Italiaweed with it's steleto like main stem and pointed single leaf that could make a person break out in a rash in five seconds flat. "Oh bum," said Wuuf as he realised he'd just picked it by pulling the leaf.
"I have a Throbbing Petunia," said Mophus with a big grin.
Leyla offered to take care of it, and seemed disappointed when Mophus gave her a bulging yellow flower. "Sorry, I thought you mean you had a red hot-"
"Can people stop making innuendo filled comments and look for plants!" asked Halk.
"-throbbing penunia, that fires fireballs. THis one will only do lightning," finished Leyla, looking across at Halk confused.
"I have big stick! Thick too!" said Daroou. Everyone looked at Daroou. Daroou looked at everyone. Everyone looked at Halk. Halk looked at Daroou. Darooou lifted the large branch and waved it around vaguely wondering why everyone had looked at him.
"I hate you all," said Halk. Then he noticed something promising on the ground. "Hey, that's great! I've got a pair of blue bulging bulbs!"
Daroou smashed Halk on the head with his stick. "That just disgusting," said Daroou. Halk gave Daroou a hurt look. "You never handle bulbs without gloves," explained Daroou, "now your hands stink long time."
Luckily, at that point the rustling crescendoed. Go to 99 and face the challenge.
96
Some with trepidation, some with relief, all realised that the person who could definitely help them in a trial of nature would be the child of nature herself, Syra. She beamed with pleasure at the bounty of nature around, and danced merrily looking for exactly the correct item to combat the noise of the monster approaching.
"It's really very simple," she beamed, locating what she needed, "monsters just need love - a single pink rose for friendship!" Halk, Stamm, and some of the others slapped their hands to their heads and started looking for weapons. "Typical men!" she said in disgust, "all you want to do is hack at stuff." Wu-tse coughed. "Ok," clarified Syra, "all you men who are actually men" Azizi coughed. "Fine," clarified Syram "and you bloody adventurer women, typical barbarians the lot of you!" Leyla coughed. Syra pretended not to hear. "No wonder I prefer nature," she mumbled to herself, and putting back on a bright brittle smile she stood infront of the forest.
The rest of the party took a step back as the noise crescendoed, but she was unafraid. "Sounds big," said Halk tightening the hold on his sword. The fluffy bunnies, deer, and other cute animals leapt out of the undergrowth.
"They're attacking! Nature's attacking, get 'em!" said Stamm.
"Oh shut up, thye are just running scared, leave them along. Typical men." said Syra.
There was then a crunching sound, as if the undergrowth were being crushed by the weight of something. Syra held her flower unafraid.
"Whatever it is, it's scared the crap out of those animals - can't you smell that!" pointed out Halk holding his nose (if he had one, otherwise he just stopped up the gap in his skull to prove how vile the stench was.
"It's just nature!" proclaimed Syra smugly. Tough she was slightly unsure, after all what could...
The source of the fertile greenery around was revealed as a gigantic compost monsters, piled high and 'fragrantly' seething standing tall. "Umm," said Syra, sudden;y not sure, but her instincts were quite correct. All monsters want are love, and this compost monster was no different. And infact a rose was the perfectthing for it, and it bowed its head to let the rose grow ontop of its head.
"Thunk...eew!" it said, brown tears rolling down from it's gaping eyes sockets. It came forward, hugged Syra tioghtly for the wonderful gift, and squelched off after first flicking a lever hidden in the forest.
"Oh, we've passed the first trial!" said Alex looking at the bottom of the screen
"Nature's so...beautiful...." said Halk, with tears streaming from his eyes for many reasosn (even if he was a skeleton, to show the power of the emotion.
"..." said Syra
"I'll never doubt how cool nature is again!" said Gothmo, his cynical nature disipated aswell.
"..." said Syra
"Syra, you proved us all wrong! I'll never be nasty about or to nature again" said Stamm looking across at the woman with awe.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH!" said Syra.
"I HATE NATURE! NATURE CAN GO ROT FOR ALL I CARE!" said Syra in further clarification.
The rest looked at her stunned. She turned around in fury at the rest of them.
"I," she said patiently, explanatorily, and most importantly loudly and furiously, "AM ABSOLOUTELY COVERED IN SH-"
And so on. While the party try to drag Syra away, without touching her, from burning down the greenery and kicking the cute animals that have returned, it's perhaps best of you go on ahead to see if the teleporter block has disappeared, and see if the party can move on to the next trial.
Go to 100. Really, now. Quickly! Before you see what Syra tried to do with the newborn deer!
Some with trepidation, some with relief, all realised that the person who could definitely help them in a trial of nature would be the child of nature herself, Syra. She beamed with pleasure at the bounty of nature around, and danced merrily looking for exactly the correct item to combat the noise of the monster approaching.
"It's really very simple," she beamed, locating what she needed, "monsters just need love - a single pink rose for friendship!" Halk, Stamm, and some of the others slapped their hands to their heads and started looking for weapons. "Typical men!" she said in disgust, "all you want to do is hack at stuff." Wu-tse coughed. "Ok," clarified Syra, "all you men who are actually men" Azizi coughed. "Fine," clarified Syram "and you bloody adventurer women, typical barbarians the lot of you!" Leyla coughed. Syra pretended not to hear. "No wonder I prefer nature," she mumbled to herself, and putting back on a bright brittle smile she stood infront of the forest.
The rest of the party took a step back as the noise crescendoed, but she was unafraid. "Sounds big," said Halk tightening the hold on his sword. The fluffy bunnies, deer, and other cute animals leapt out of the undergrowth.
"They're attacking! Nature's attacking, get 'em!" said Stamm.
"Oh shut up, thye are just running scared, leave them along. Typical men." said Syra.
There was then a crunching sound, as if the undergrowth were being crushed by the weight of something. Syra held her flower unafraid.
"Whatever it is, it's scared the crap out of those animals - can't you smell that!" pointed out Halk holding his nose (if he had one, otherwise he just stopped up the gap in his skull to prove how vile the stench was.
"It's just nature!" proclaimed Syra smugly. Tough she was slightly unsure, after all what could...
The source of the fertile greenery around was revealed as a gigantic compost monsters, piled high and 'fragrantly' seething standing tall. "Umm," said Syra, sudden;y not sure, but her instincts were quite correct. All monsters want are love, and this compost monster was no different. And infact a rose was the perfectthing for it, and it bowed its head to let the rose grow ontop of its head.
"Thunk...eew!" it said, brown tears rolling down from it's gaping eyes sockets. It came forward, hugged Syra tioghtly for the wonderful gift, and squelched off after first flicking a lever hidden in the forest.
"Oh, we've passed the first trial!" said Alex looking at the bottom of the screen
"Nature's so...beautiful...." said Halk, with tears streaming from his eyes for many reasosn (even if he was a skeleton, to show the power of the emotion.
"..." said Syra
"I'll never doubt how cool nature is again!" said Gothmo, his cynical nature disipated aswell.
"..." said Syra
"Syra, you proved us all wrong! I'll never be nasty about or to nature again" said Stamm looking across at the woman with awe.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH!" said Syra.
"I HATE NATURE! NATURE CAN GO ROT FOR ALL I CARE!" said Syra in further clarification.
The rest looked at her stunned. She turned around in fury at the rest of them.
"I," she said patiently, explanatorily, and most importantly loudly and furiously, "AM ABSOLOUTELY COVERED IN SH-"
And so on. While the party try to drag Syra away, without touching her, from burning down the greenery and kicking the cute animals that have returned, it's perhaps best of you go on ahead to see if the teleporter block has disappeared, and see if the party can move on to the next trial.
Go to 100. Really, now. Quickly! Before you see what Syra tried to do with the newborn deer!
99
Armed with their plants, the champions turn to face whatever nightmarish horror will emerge.
"Nature! Nature is attacking!" yells Stamm with horror and glee in equal measures, as lots of small creatures emerge. He splits open a rabbit as it comes towards him. The loss of Syra's chest is more than made up for by the lack of her nagging them to not do this sorts of thing!
"They're more afraid of us than we are of them!" says Elija remarking on the terrible stench, called Lion by some because he is also happy to tear into small animals.
The champions of a more nervous disposition turn their heads away as the more aggressive elements happily use every means at their disposal (Except the plants, who thought of that idea!) to wipe out the harmless cute wildlife. Fireballs and lightning sizzle, axes and swords and clubs and exotic weaponry flies, and all in all its a satisfying heroic massacre.
"Eew, Gothmog, why'd you let off such a strong poison cloud!" asked Halk afterwards.
"I didn't fire a poison cloud you muppet!" yelled the blood doaked mage in return.
"Then eew, you are eating alone in future!" said Halk in reply.
"It's not me at all!" said Gothmog, "so you can stop banging your club around to frighten me!"
"I'm not banging a club!" said Halk
The champions looked around, realising the stench was getting worse, and also that something big was coming through the undergrowth. All of a sudden it emerged, the killer pile of compost that the small animals had been running from.
"We've used up all our spells and throwing weapons o nthe cute things! Quick, let's use the plants!" said Zed, trying to look heroic even though his moustache was being slowly disintegrated by the sheer venom of the compost heap's gases.
If the party have healing herbs, then they will be forced to fight the creature in close quarters. Although they can heal their wounds and poisoning, one of the party will be trapped by the compost monster and disintergrated into a skeleton and lose their possessions. Pick any character you like and note their skeletal state down.
If the party have offensive herbs, they will be able to use them from a distance for the most part, but they party will be badly wounded by flying muck and the poisonous stench. Roll a die and add one - this is the number of champions who have sustained injuries. Pick any able bodied champions (not already dead/injured nor troilns) and note this fact down.
Finally, the compost monster is dead. In his final death throws he smashes a tall tree which in turn thumps a lever.
The way should now be cleared for the next trial!
Go to 100
Armed with their plants, the champions turn to face whatever nightmarish horror will emerge.
"Nature! Nature is attacking!" yells Stamm with horror and glee in equal measures, as lots of small creatures emerge. He splits open a rabbit as it comes towards him. The loss of Syra's chest is more than made up for by the lack of her nagging them to not do this sorts of thing!
"They're more afraid of us than we are of them!" says Elija remarking on the terrible stench, called Lion by some because he is also happy to tear into small animals.
The champions of a more nervous disposition turn their heads away as the more aggressive elements happily use every means at their disposal (Except the plants, who thought of that idea!) to wipe out the harmless cute wildlife. Fireballs and lightning sizzle, axes and swords and clubs and exotic weaponry flies, and all in all its a satisfying heroic massacre.
"Eew, Gothmog, why'd you let off such a strong poison cloud!" asked Halk afterwards.
"I didn't fire a poison cloud you muppet!" yelled the blood doaked mage in return.
"Then eew, you are eating alone in future!" said Halk in reply.
"It's not me at all!" said Gothmog, "so you can stop banging your club around to frighten me!"
"I'm not banging a club!" said Halk
The champions looked around, realising the stench was getting worse, and also that something big was coming through the undergrowth. All of a sudden it emerged, the killer pile of compost that the small animals had been running from.
"We've used up all our spells and throwing weapons o nthe cute things! Quick, let's use the plants!" said Zed, trying to look heroic even though his moustache was being slowly disintegrated by the sheer venom of the compost heap's gases.
If the party have healing herbs, then they will be forced to fight the creature in close quarters. Although they can heal their wounds and poisoning, one of the party will be trapped by the compost monster and disintergrated into a skeleton and lose their possessions. Pick any character you like and note their skeletal state down.
If the party have offensive herbs, they will be able to use them from a distance for the most part, but they party will be badly wounded by flying muck and the poisonous stench. Roll a die and add one - this is the number of champions who have sustained injuries. Pick any able bodied champions (not already dead/injured nor troilns) and note this fact down.
Finally, the compost monster is dead. In his final death throws he smashes a tall tree which in turn thumps a lever.
The way should now be cleared for the next trial!
Go to 100
100
Written on the wall of the exit to the chamber was the words "Test your strength."
"Noooo, another test!" cried Tiggy. "I can't take any more!" she added dispairingly. "I've been dropped, stabbed and attacked by a shambling mound and I'm losing the will to breathe this foetid dungeon air."
"Don't worry..." said Elija patting his visibly shaken friend, "it'll be over by Christmas." he kindly suggested.
"That had better not be a Dwarven christmas", pointed out Stamm. Dwarves suffered from the lack of both Christmas spirit and follow a calender that extended past the lifetime of many humans adding to their dark mood and a sparcity of good will (aka 'presents').
"Wait a minute, though. We all should know how to beat this one, don't we?", said Iaido. To the one side was a closed door, and sure enough the corridoor advanced to the darkness yet they couldn't advance due to some invisible barrier blocking their way.
What to do?
Get Linflas to use his bow and arrow and shoot one into the darkness, if you still have your weapons. 101
Try hurling a rock after quaffing one of Mophus's 'special' creamy looking strength potions, that he has just pulled out of his trouser pocket. 102
Charge the force field!.... Repeatedly*. 103
* Just like the author did, when he was a stupid fifteen year old, back in 1987.
Written on the wall of the exit to the chamber was the words "Test your strength."
"Noooo, another test!" cried Tiggy. "I can't take any more!" she added dispairingly. "I've been dropped, stabbed and attacked by a shambling mound and I'm losing the will to breathe this foetid dungeon air."
"Don't worry..." said Elija patting his visibly shaken friend, "it'll be over by Christmas." he kindly suggested.
"That had better not be a Dwarven christmas", pointed out Stamm. Dwarves suffered from the lack of both Christmas spirit and follow a calender that extended past the lifetime of many humans adding to their dark mood and a sparcity of good will (aka 'presents').
"Wait a minute, though. We all should know how to beat this one, don't we?", said Iaido. To the one side was a closed door, and sure enough the corridoor advanced to the darkness yet they couldn't advance due to some invisible barrier blocking their way.
What to do?
Get Linflas to use his bow and arrow and shoot one into the darkness, if you still have your weapons. 101
Try hurling a rock after quaffing one of Mophus's 'special' creamy looking strength potions, that he has just pulled out of his trouser pocket. 102
Charge the force field!.... Repeatedly*. 103
* Just like the author did, when he was a stupid fifteen year old, back in 1987.
103
Like idiots the champions run at the invisible force field, rebounding off it like lemons off a SAR shield(*). After a few tries, they are forced to try something intelligent.
Get an agitated Linflas(**) to use his bow and arrow and shoot one into the darkness, if you still have your weapons. 101
Try a hurling a rock after quaffing one of Mophus's 'special' creamy looking strength potions, that he has just pulled out of his trouser pocket and has now started to bubble and fizzle with all of the agitation. 102
(*) While studying and experimenting at wizard school, Elija once noted the near perfect elasticity qualities of a lemon flying through a SAR field, towards his fifth glass of Tequila.
(**) You never knew this, but when forcing the champions up against a wall they make this 'Ooof' noise as they get the air forced out of their bodies from being crushed against rock and stone, in armour. However rebounding against forcefields they don´t make any noise, yet our Champions have been known to lose teeth as the back row bang against the back of the heads of the front row. No 'damage' is incurred yet the sight in the street of two missing front teeth is a sure sign that once the guy was present in the back row of a demented dungeon quest.(***)
(***) ... Except for halflings. They bounce off the soft and cumly buttocks of the front row, but this causes other problems, such as hurled stones bouncing off the back of heads - Sorry!
Like idiots the champions run at the invisible force field, rebounding off it like lemons off a SAR shield(*). After a few tries, they are forced to try something intelligent.
Get an agitated Linflas(**) to use his bow and arrow and shoot one into the darkness, if you still have your weapons. 101
Try a hurling a rock after quaffing one of Mophus's 'special' creamy looking strength potions, that he has just pulled out of his trouser pocket and has now started to bubble and fizzle with all of the agitation. 102
(*) While studying and experimenting at wizard school, Elija once noted the near perfect elasticity qualities of a lemon flying through a SAR field, towards his fifth glass of Tequila.
(**) You never knew this, but when forcing the champions up against a wall they make this 'Ooof' noise as they get the air forced out of their bodies from being crushed against rock and stone, in armour. However rebounding against forcefields they don´t make any noise, yet our Champions have been known to lose teeth as the back row bang against the back of the heads of the front row. No 'damage' is incurred yet the sight in the street of two missing front teeth is a sure sign that once the guy was present in the back row of a demented dungeon quest.(***)
(***) ... Except for halflings. They bounce off the soft and cumly buttocks of the front row, but this causes other problems, such as hurled stones bouncing off the back of heads - Sorry!
102
Halk downed his share, and stooped to pick up a stone before something twigged in the back of his mind.
"Mophus?"
"Yes," said the grinning priest grinning wider than normal, which was scary with or without teeth.
"That strength potion tasted creamy"
"Yes?"
"Mophus?"
"Yes?"
"That potion?"
"Yes?"
"That...milky potion?"
"Yes?"
"That wasn't a strength potion, was it?"
"Not as such, no, though it does contain strengthening minerals," said the priest grinning wider.
"Mophus," asked Halk further
"Yes," replied the now over grinning priest
"That potion..."
"Yes?"
"That wasn't exactly a strength potion... "
"Yes?"
"That...milky potion..."
"Yes?"
"That milky potion...that was bat's milk, wasn't it?"
Stamm had been chugging away and did a spit take. "Bat's milk???!!!" cried Stamm.
"What?" asked Mophus with an innocent grin, "you don't really need strength here, do you, you want to be able to see the target!"
"Wait a minute," said Stamm turning to Halk, "how do you know what bat's milk tastes like?"
Halk had the comon decency to look embarrassed. "What, you never been under Stonekeep and really, really bored before?"
To avoid the gaze of Stamm, Halk went back to picking up stones, and tried to visualise the further distance in the tunnel, and the obvious lever in the wall.
Toss a coin:
If it comes up head, go to 104
If if comes up tails, go to 105
If you got confused and coined a toss, go to 106
Halk downed his share, and stooped to pick up a stone before something twigged in the back of his mind.
"Mophus?"
"Yes," said the grinning priest grinning wider than normal, which was scary with or without teeth.
"That strength potion tasted creamy"
"Yes?"
"Mophus?"
"Yes?"
"That potion?"
"Yes?"
"That...milky potion?"
"Yes?"
"That wasn't a strength potion, was it?"
"Not as such, no, though it does contain strengthening minerals," said the priest grinning wider.
"Mophus," asked Halk further
"Yes," replied the now over grinning priest
"That potion..."
"Yes?"
"That wasn't exactly a strength potion... "
"Yes?"
"That...milky potion..."
"Yes?"
"That milky potion...that was bat's milk, wasn't it?"
Stamm had been chugging away and did a spit take. "Bat's milk???!!!" cried Stamm.
"What?" asked Mophus with an innocent grin, "you don't really need strength here, do you, you want to be able to see the target!"
"Wait a minute," said Stamm turning to Halk, "how do you know what bat's milk tastes like?"
Halk had the comon decency to look embarrassed. "What, you never been under Stonekeep and really, really bored before?"
To avoid the gaze of Stamm, Halk went back to picking up stones, and tried to visualise the further distance in the tunnel, and the obvious lever in the wall.
Toss a coin:
If it comes up head, go to 104
If if comes up tails, go to 105
If you got confused and coined a toss, go to 106
104
Halk streched his throwing arm, picked up a rock off the floor, made a swinging motion, then he was ready. Then a thought occurred to him. "...How many bats did you have to milk for that potion?"
"About 60 to 70, give or take a squeak." replied Mophus, content in the thought that his hard labour searching for his white gold was coming to fruition.
'Ok, ready', he thought and brought his arm back. But then he realised that the potion must have had a side effect, as he was really interested in this stuff. "How long did it take you to actually extract the milk?"
Mophus scratched his nose in thought. "5 minutes per teat... Disregarding the male bats that I accidentally picked up. They weren't particularly happy either."
Halk stared at his rock he was holding. It seemed he was losing somewhat his direction. "And they've got only two teats right?"
"No, no, no, the ones I siphoned off possessed 6 and some even have false teats, it was a fascinating search for milk, I assure you."
Halk sat down, his head in his hands now. "I have to know... I need to know, I don't know why." He started to whimper. "So... How do you milk a bat?"
"I've tried pressing, pumping, squeezing, syphoning and even evoking a modified ZO spell. In the end extortion worked best..." Mophus smiled, teethily.
"Extor...!?" He suddenly jumped up, and hurled the rock down the corridoor in frustration at his lack of mental 'clarity'. Being a barbarian was dealing with absolutes, and he was not used to conducting quizzical conversations over bats and their milking.
A 'dink' could be heard echoing through the darkness.
To see the results of his action, flap along to 107, but be sure that you don't get caught by Mophus on the way!
Halk streched his throwing arm, picked up a rock off the floor, made a swinging motion, then he was ready. Then a thought occurred to him. "...How many bats did you have to milk for that potion?"
"About 60 to 70, give or take a squeak." replied Mophus, content in the thought that his hard labour searching for his white gold was coming to fruition.
'Ok, ready', he thought and brought his arm back. But then he realised that the potion must have had a side effect, as he was really interested in this stuff. "How long did it take you to actually extract the milk?"
Mophus scratched his nose in thought. "5 minutes per teat... Disregarding the male bats that I accidentally picked up. They weren't particularly happy either."
Halk stared at his rock he was holding. It seemed he was losing somewhat his direction. "And they've got only two teats right?"
"No, no, no, the ones I siphoned off possessed 6 and some even have false teats, it was a fascinating search for milk, I assure you."
Halk sat down, his head in his hands now. "I have to know... I need to know, I don't know why." He started to whimper. "So... How do you milk a bat?"
"I've tried pressing, pumping, squeezing, syphoning and even evoking a modified ZO spell. In the end extortion worked best..." Mophus smiled, teethily.
"Extor...!?" He suddenly jumped up, and hurled the rock down the corridoor in frustration at his lack of mental 'clarity'. Being a barbarian was dealing with absolutes, and he was not used to conducting quizzical conversations over bats and their milking.
A 'dink' could be heard echoing through the darkness.
To see the results of his action, flap along to 107, but be sure that you don't get caught by Mophus on the way!
106
Halk, fighting the effects of the bat's milk and his own natural rage at annoying invisible magical wibbly wobbly things, decided to imbue the rock with a little extra spin for good luck.
In so doing he managed, infact, to coin a new toss - the "Barbarian Ricochet Death Toss" although the secrets are available to only a chosen few who can decipher the mad ramblings of the barbarian who himself suffered severe concussion attempting it.
With a complicated wrist motion and strange dance like steps the barbarian leapt backwards, and worked himself into a frenzy, charged forwards and releasing the rock at the perfect angle to skim the magic of the party blocker. It proceeded to act against the laws of the conservation of energy by picking up speed with every bounce, until the brown blur became invisible to the eye.
Luckily, Halk was only skiffed by the returning projctile and so when the party was found he was able to be rescued.
Unfortunately the blow and the horror of the carnage behind him means that he isn't in a fit state to continue onwards. And really, if you can put together the pieces of the rest of the party then you are probably the sort of person who can do those double sided 1000 piece bean puzzles with their eyes closed, and not the sort of person who should be allowed near a computer.
In any event, best to go to 1 and start again!
Halk, fighting the effects of the bat's milk and his own natural rage at annoying invisible magical wibbly wobbly things, decided to imbue the rock with a little extra spin for good luck.
In so doing he managed, infact, to coin a new toss - the "Barbarian Ricochet Death Toss" although the secrets are available to only a chosen few who can decipher the mad ramblings of the barbarian who himself suffered severe concussion attempting it.
With a complicated wrist motion and strange dance like steps the barbarian leapt backwards, and worked himself into a frenzy, charged forwards and releasing the rock at the perfect angle to skim the magic of the party blocker. It proceeded to act against the laws of the conservation of energy by picking up speed with every bounce, until the brown blur became invisible to the eye.
Luckily, Halk was only skiffed by the returning projctile and so when the party was found he was able to be rescued.
Unfortunately the blow and the horror of the carnage behind him means that he isn't in a fit state to continue onwards. And really, if you can put together the pieces of the rest of the party then you are probably the sort of person who can do those double sided 1000 piece bean puzzles with their eyes closed, and not the sort of person who should be allowed near a computer.
In any event, best to go to 1 and start again!
101
Linflas picked an arrow from his quiver, delicately licked the tips of the feathers and attached it to his bow. Elven mucus was famous for it's accuracy, especially when jettisoned from a juvenile. He taught his muscles in his shoulder and pulled his arm back and just held it there, looking intently down the shaft of the arrow into the dark depths of the corridoor.
His reputation as an archer swept from the Caspan mountain range down to the Sssyle swamps, across the Hemian sea and over to the Western planes of Asadfas. The lizardmen paid dutiful respect to his abilities, the humans bowed to his knowledge as a bowman, the halflings paid tribute to his experience as a fletcher, and the dwarves laughed at his paisly underpants.
With experience that was passed down from elven generation to generation spanning an aeon, he.... Let go.
A woosh of the missle could be heard then another, more muffled and distant sound could be heard emanating from the darkness.
"Ffffuuck!"
A shocked silence spread across the party, except for Gando who was almost collapsing in muffled laughter at his ventriloquist joke. Noone dared look at Linflas, whose blood had drained from his face in horror. Was that a tear of pain in his eye? Look, Gando appears to be crying as well, biting into his hand at the suffering of a poor innocent soul.
Best shoot on over to 107, while Linflas laments over his new bout of bad karma.
Linflas picked an arrow from his quiver, delicately licked the tips of the feathers and attached it to his bow. Elven mucus was famous for it's accuracy, especially when jettisoned from a juvenile. He taught his muscles in his shoulder and pulled his arm back and just held it there, looking intently down the shaft of the arrow into the dark depths of the corridoor.
His reputation as an archer swept from the Caspan mountain range down to the Sssyle swamps, across the Hemian sea and over to the Western planes of Asadfas. The lizardmen paid dutiful respect to his abilities, the humans bowed to his knowledge as a bowman, the halflings paid tribute to his experience as a fletcher, and the dwarves laughed at his paisly underpants.
With experience that was passed down from elven generation to generation spanning an aeon, he.... Let go.
A woosh of the missle could be heard then another, more muffled and distant sound could be heard emanating from the darkness.
"Ffffuuck!"
A shocked silence spread across the party, except for Gando who was almost collapsing in muffled laughter at his ventriloquist joke. Noone dared look at Linflas, whose blood had drained from his face in horror. Was that a tear of pain in his eye? Look, Gando appears to be crying as well, biting into his hand at the suffering of a poor innocent soul.
Best shoot on over to 107, while Linflas laments over his new bout of bad karma.
105
Halk felt his stomach go all swirly. Darn, he forgot his time down the mines in Stonekeep (or was it Skullkeep) had given him lactose intolerance to bat's milk.
"Why did I drink that stuff?" he asked aloud.
"How did you manage to milk it anyway?" he asked Mophus.
"Why am I so inquisitive?" he asked himself.
"Ooh, where did you get those new shoes from?" he asked Gothmog, who was finished looting a corpse at the side of the dungeon.
"Do you know any ways to counteract this effect?" Halk asked Chani.
Unfortunately the wizard was too busy laughing herself silly at the green face of Halk, and he was left to cope as best he could.
With diorreha of the mouth and swirlness of the tummy he tried to do a good run up. Unfortunately his swirling vision meant he ran int othe teleporter first.
"Oof," he said, and the stone flew backwards from his hand to knock one of his fellow champions unconscious behind him (you can pick which one, though skeletonised champions or trolins don't count, and the injured champions are too far away to do it!).
Halk better have another go! Toss a coin:
If it comes up heads, go to 104
If it comes up tails, go to an oddly familiar 105
Or give in to your confusion and coin a toss. Go to 106
Halk felt his stomach go all swirly. Darn, he forgot his time down the mines in Stonekeep (or was it Skullkeep) had given him lactose intolerance to bat's milk.
"Why did I drink that stuff?" he asked aloud.
"How did you manage to milk it anyway?" he asked Mophus.
"Why am I so inquisitive?" he asked himself.
"Ooh, where did you get those new shoes from?" he asked Gothmog, who was finished looting a corpse at the side of the dungeon.
"Do you know any ways to counteract this effect?" Halk asked Chani.
Unfortunately the wizard was too busy laughing herself silly at the green face of Halk, and he was left to cope as best he could.
With diorreha of the mouth and swirlness of the tummy he tried to do a good run up. Unfortunately his swirling vision meant he ran int othe teleporter first.
"Oof," he said, and the stone flew backwards from his hand to knock one of his fellow champions unconscious behind him (you can pick which one, though skeletonised champions or trolins don't count, and the injured champions are too far away to do it!).
Halk better have another go! Toss a coin:
If it comes up heads, go to 104
If it comes up tails, go to an oddly familiar 105
Or give in to your confusion and coin a toss. Go to 106
107
The champions carried on passed the now disabled blocker. If Linflas took the shot, he is too dispirited to notice that his arrow had simply hit a lever on the floor.
"The Trial of Intimidation" declared the next scratched wal text.
"Coo, fancy that," said Tiggy, "a talking wall text" (if Tiggy is indeed conscious, if not it was Gando doing his schtick again of impersonations and ventriloguism. If Gando's out too, then really, what ARE you doing in this adventure? Why aren't you dead yet!)
"What's so intimidating about this empty space?" they all asked each other. "All that's here is a pillar"
The party then looked upwards. They then realised that it was no pillar.
"Bloody hell, it's a HUGE stome golem! That's just his leg!" declared Halk.
"Umm, I don't think that a leg," said Daroou, "that look like it just his-"
"Stop it!"
"-club"
"Well, we all know Halk finds larger clubs intimidating," said Chani with a smirk, "what are we going to do - I think it's seen us and my magic is useless!"
"Could always distract it with flash of your moonstone," suggested Daroou, who then wondered why he's been slapped about the head. Surely blinding it with sparkling things was a good idea?
With an odd creaking moaning sound, the huge stone golem finally looked down.
"Crush little humans!" said the thing slowly and boomingly. And intimidatingly. So intimidatingly that any non-humans just shut up and didn't quibble aout it.
What to do?
If you have Mophus in your party, and he is consious...
If he is skeletal or has no teeth, flip two coins. If they both come up heads, go to 108
If he is 'normal', flip one coin, if it comes up heads, go to 108
If you have repaired his broken teeth at any point, then go directly to 108
If mophus has failed to intimidate, then go to 109
If mophus cannot contribute, then the fighters will have to step up! For each of the following front row fighters you possess who are conscious and unwounded (Halk, Stamm, Leif, Sonja, Hisssa, Iaido, Linflas, Daroou) add one point to a maximum of six. For each one that can be armed with a club, sword or axe add a further point to a maximum of six. If you possess any trolins in the party, then reduce the score by one for each as they laugh at the size of your champions' weapons.
Now roll two dice!
If you score is greater than the roll, go to 110
If you score is equal to the roll, go to 109
If you score is less than the roll, uh-oh! Go to 111
The champions carried on passed the now disabled blocker. If Linflas took the shot, he is too dispirited to notice that his arrow had simply hit a lever on the floor.
"The Trial of Intimidation" declared the next scratched wal text.
"Coo, fancy that," said Tiggy, "a talking wall text" (if Tiggy is indeed conscious, if not it was Gando doing his schtick again of impersonations and ventriloguism. If Gando's out too, then really, what ARE you doing in this adventure? Why aren't you dead yet!)
"What's so intimidating about this empty space?" they all asked each other. "All that's here is a pillar"
The party then looked upwards. They then realised that it was no pillar.
"Bloody hell, it's a HUGE stome golem! That's just his leg!" declared Halk.
"Umm, I don't think that a leg," said Daroou, "that look like it just his-"
"Stop it!"
"-club"
"Well, we all know Halk finds larger clubs intimidating," said Chani with a smirk, "what are we going to do - I think it's seen us and my magic is useless!"
"Could always distract it with flash of your moonstone," suggested Daroou, who then wondered why he's been slapped about the head. Surely blinding it with sparkling things was a good idea?
With an odd creaking moaning sound, the huge stone golem finally looked down.
"Crush little humans!" said the thing slowly and boomingly. And intimidatingly. So intimidatingly that any non-humans just shut up and didn't quibble aout it.
What to do?
If you have Mophus in your party, and he is consious...
If he is skeletal or has no teeth, flip two coins. If they both come up heads, go to 108
If he is 'normal', flip one coin, if it comes up heads, go to 108
If you have repaired his broken teeth at any point, then go directly to 108
If mophus has failed to intimidate, then go to 109
If mophus cannot contribute, then the fighters will have to step up! For each of the following front row fighters you possess who are conscious and unwounded (Halk, Stamm, Leif, Sonja, Hisssa, Iaido, Linflas, Daroou) add one point to a maximum of six. For each one that can be armed with a club, sword or axe add a further point to a maximum of six. If you possess any trolins in the party, then reduce the score by one for each as they laugh at the size of your champions' weapons.
Now roll two dice!
If you score is greater than the roll, go to 110
If you score is equal to the roll, go to 109
If you score is less than the roll, uh-oh! Go to 111
111
"Wait a minute..." says Alex, one of the brainier champions in the absense of sufficient muscle, "this isn't a trial of fighting, it's a trial of intimidation! This thing won't harm us, I bet it's just a harmless softie!"
The golem hesitates and tries to shake his club menacing, but it is no use and the jig is up. "Hah, softie softie!" taunts Alex waving his finger, much to the cryign of the golem.
"Um,, wait," said the rest of the party as they suddenly realised a giant golem produced alot of tears, but it was too late and the place started flooding.
"Quick, run for it!" said Alex, but the Golem was in full sobbing now, and dropped its club desolately squishing two people, and then fell in a feotal position wailing and bawling and kicking its feet out like a huge baby. A huge, destructive, weighty crushing baby.
Perhaps the party should have tried to beef up a little bit instead of taunt poor golems. Perhaps you should restart at section 1.
"Wait a minute..." says Alex, one of the brainier champions in the absense of sufficient muscle, "this isn't a trial of fighting, it's a trial of intimidation! This thing won't harm us, I bet it's just a harmless softie!"
The golem hesitates and tries to shake his club menacing, but it is no use and the jig is up. "Hah, softie softie!" taunts Alex waving his finger, much to the cryign of the golem.
"Um,, wait," said the rest of the party as they suddenly realised a giant golem produced alot of tears, but it was too late and the place started flooding.
"Quick, run for it!" said Alex, but the Golem was in full sobbing now, and dropped its club desolately squishing two people, and then fell in a feotal position wailing and bawling and kicking its feet out like a huge baby. A huge, destructive, weighty crushing baby.
Perhaps the party should have tried to beef up a little bit instead of taunt poor golems. Perhaps you should restart at section 1.
109
Our front row steps up towards the fray with weapons held aloft. The gigantic golem then performs one of the more unusual maneuvers taken from the compendium of the art of melee. With his club between his legs, swings his arms up, picking up a hapless champion of your choice with it. The poor soul is hurled into the air and ignominously lands onto a pile of corpses at the back of the room. Scratch one well used being from your list of heroes...
"I should have seen that" uttered Stamm.
For each of the following front row fighters you possess who are conscious and unwounded (Halk, Stamm, Leif, Sonja, Hisssa, Iaido, Linflas, Daroou) add one point to a maximum of six. For each one that can be armed with a club, sword or axe add a further point to a maximum of six. If you possess any trolins in the party, then reduce the score by one for each as they laugh at the size of your champions' weapons.
Now roll two dice!
If you score is greater than the roll, go to 110
If you score is equal to the roll, go to 109. Go on, click on it!*
If you score is less than the roll, uh-oh! Go to 111
* This would perhaps be funnier in the HTML Version, Beo. Delete this comment.
Our front row steps up towards the fray with weapons held aloft. The gigantic golem then performs one of the more unusual maneuvers taken from the compendium of the art of melee. With his club between his legs, swings his arms up, picking up a hapless champion of your choice with it. The poor soul is hurled into the air and ignominously lands onto a pile of corpses at the back of the room. Scratch one well used being from your list of heroes...
"I should have seen that" uttered Stamm.
For each of the following front row fighters you possess who are conscious and unwounded (Halk, Stamm, Leif, Sonja, Hisssa, Iaido, Linflas, Daroou) add one point to a maximum of six. For each one that can be armed with a club, sword or axe add a further point to a maximum of six. If you possess any trolins in the party, then reduce the score by one for each as they laugh at the size of your champions' weapons.
Now roll two dice!
If you score is greater than the roll, go to 110
If you score is equal to the roll, go to 109. Go on, click on it!*
If you score is less than the roll, uh-oh! Go to 111
* This would perhaps be funnier in the HTML Version, Beo. Delete this comment.
110
In this section you find the champions sitting around in a circle looking at two small pieces of box shaped bone on the floor, and the gigantic stone golem peering down on top of the scene from afar.
"DID I WIN?" Boomed the enquiring the golem, who was up two gold coins and a souvenir bota from that shitty little village located at the bottom of Mount Anaias.
"Errr, yes!" shouted Chani back, and then hissed to Gando "how much more should we let him win?"
Yet it was Alex who was the expert at craps (Gando was in fact crap), but he was the one scaling the back of the huge golem with rope and a dagger in each hand. He once saw a sailer do this to climb into a house of somewhat disrepute, only to see the guy ejected through another (read, the wrong) orifice.
The golem stamped his feet in appreciation of the new game, causing one of the little people to comically fall over. Oh what fun! He'd never met adventurers like this before. One moment they were assaulting him with weapons and spit, then suddenly one of the small ones at the back had hoisted a white flag shouting "lets talk about your frustrations in life!" There was this knawing feeling however, that something was amiss. He sometimes got this itchy-scratchy sensation at the base of his spine when danger was neer. He couldn't work it out, yet here flew through the air yet another shiny coin in his direction. Ohhh, nice!
Alex held on for life until the golem stopped jumping about. He was no wizard but he honestly never knew that these things had such a gambling streak in them. It was at that point he inadvertantly shoved a dagger in the top of a small metal plate rivetted between the shoulders that read Made in China, 'Ahhh-ha!' he thought. He reached the back of the head, and deftly threw the rope made into a lassoo over the top and around the neck. He was ready. And indicated so to his brethren located somewhat more safely on the ground.
"Again?!" shouted Chani again, who was simultaneously trying to prise the last gold coin from between Stamm's tense white fingers.
"OHHHHH YHHEESSSS!"
Chani picked up the bone dice in one hand, blew into her fist, shouted "Good luck!", and threw.
"Ohhh dear!" she shouted back at the golem. Two large eyebrows in the shape of stone cucumbers raised a little. "Dead mans hand I'm afraid! Look!" The golem did so, bending over yet further to look at the outcome.
Alex waited for his moment, mentally calculating distances.... Then jumped.
"Bunjeeeee!" shouted Alex.
"Fuckmeeee!" shouted Chani.
Our champions scattered, with Alex performing a perfect swan dive off the top of the head. The golem's synapses were fast for a geological formation, yet still took too much time to fully comprehend all of the events that were occurring. First off, and incorrectly he thought most importantly, he definately had two fives on the dice - which were a winner. Next the scattering of the little people which was perhaps due to the falling, squealing human that had passed closely by his head. Now there was a reason why his brain incorrectly calculated that this was an unimportant issue, as he occasionally managed to mangle people so much with his club they had a habit to stick to the ceiling, only to fall off when they dessicated and dried up a bit.
The rope suddenly tightened taught and yanked Alex inches off the floor, and he was now heading back up again between the open legs of a tipping golem.
The golem had lost it's chance, and subsequently was too slow to act against the inevitable smashing of stone on stone, forehead on floor. Although unnoticed in the commotion it was perhaps ironic that a die had lodged itself up it's nostril causing quite a commotion amongst archeologists some aeons later, betting their money that it was some kind of ancient school of magic, based on chaos theory.
To 112, and you'll have to drag Stamm away looking for his precious coin amongst the debris.
In this section you find the champions sitting around in a circle looking at two small pieces of box shaped bone on the floor, and the gigantic stone golem peering down on top of the scene from afar.
"DID I WIN?" Boomed the enquiring the golem, who was up two gold coins and a souvenir bota from that shitty little village located at the bottom of Mount Anaias.
"Errr, yes!" shouted Chani back, and then hissed to Gando "how much more should we let him win?"
Yet it was Alex who was the expert at craps (Gando was in fact crap), but he was the one scaling the back of the huge golem with rope and a dagger in each hand. He once saw a sailer do this to climb into a house of somewhat disrepute, only to see the guy ejected through another (read, the wrong) orifice.
The golem stamped his feet in appreciation of the new game, causing one of the little people to comically fall over. Oh what fun! He'd never met adventurers like this before. One moment they were assaulting him with weapons and spit, then suddenly one of the small ones at the back had hoisted a white flag shouting "lets talk about your frustrations in life!" There was this knawing feeling however, that something was amiss. He sometimes got this itchy-scratchy sensation at the base of his spine when danger was neer. He couldn't work it out, yet here flew through the air yet another shiny coin in his direction. Ohhh, nice!
Alex held on for life until the golem stopped jumping about. He was no wizard but he honestly never knew that these things had such a gambling streak in them. It was at that point he inadvertantly shoved a dagger in the top of a small metal plate rivetted between the shoulders that read Made in China, 'Ahhh-ha!' he thought. He reached the back of the head, and deftly threw the rope made into a lassoo over the top and around the neck. He was ready. And indicated so to his brethren located somewhat more safely on the ground.
"Again?!" shouted Chani again, who was simultaneously trying to prise the last gold coin from between Stamm's tense white fingers.
"OHHHHH YHHEESSSS!"
Chani picked up the bone dice in one hand, blew into her fist, shouted "Good luck!", and threw.
"Ohhh dear!" she shouted back at the golem. Two large eyebrows in the shape of stone cucumbers raised a little. "Dead mans hand I'm afraid! Look!" The golem did so, bending over yet further to look at the outcome.
Alex waited for his moment, mentally calculating distances.... Then jumped.
"Bunjeeeee!" shouted Alex.
"Fuckmeeee!" shouted Chani.
Our champions scattered, with Alex performing a perfect swan dive off the top of the head. The golem's synapses were fast for a geological formation, yet still took too much time to fully comprehend all of the events that were occurring. First off, and incorrectly he thought most importantly, he definately had two fives on the dice - which were a winner. Next the scattering of the little people which was perhaps due to the falling, squealing human that had passed closely by his head. Now there was a reason why his brain incorrectly calculated that this was an unimportant issue, as he occasionally managed to mangle people so much with his club they had a habit to stick to the ceiling, only to fall off when they dessicated and dried up a bit.
The rope suddenly tightened taught and yanked Alex inches off the floor, and he was now heading back up again between the open legs of a tipping golem.
The golem had lost it's chance, and subsequently was too slow to act against the inevitable smashing of stone on stone, forehead on floor. Although unnoticed in the commotion it was perhaps ironic that a die had lodged itself up it's nostril causing quite a commotion amongst archeologists some aeons later, betting their money that it was some kind of ancient school of magic, based on chaos theory.
To 112, and you'll have to drag Stamm away looking for his precious coin amongst the debris.
Last edited by ian_scho on Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
108
The golems starts advancing menacingly, swinging its club. The party takes a step backwards, except Mophus with his lacivious grin.
"That's a nice club!" said Mophus smiling.
"Umm," said the golem stopping. He tried to wave the club around threateningly to scare the grinning priest.
"Ooh," said Mophus with an even wider appreciative grin, "you certainly are skillful to be able to weild that big, long, thick heavy club the way you do. It must take alot of stamina to constantly heft that thing during your activities!" Moiphus's grin was wider, and his eyebrow raised in a sparling eyed implied question.
"Umm..." said the golem, droppign the club and surreptitiously placing it behind his leg out of the way of the gaze and grin.
"Oh, you can't be finding it heavy already, surely? A strong looking strapping golem such as yourself..." said Mophus, eyes already asking an obvious leading question.
"Umm..." said the golem backing off.
"Do you work out at all? You certainly look strong, doens't he look strong Leyla...I was just saying to you the other day that someone strong was what we could certainly be doing with..."
Leyla came over and appriased the golem and his ability to heft a strong club, and seemed just as delighted. She also wore a grin.
"Umm..." said the golem.
"You know, if you would be up to it, if you are not too tired from hefting your big, long heavy club already, I am very sure Leyla, and indeed myself, would very much appreicate it if you came around tonight - we have rope and everything, so that you could...."
The golem was so intimidated (especialyl since golems don't actually have anything...you know...there....) that he ran off screaming, dropping his heavy club.
"Oh," said Leyla, very disappointed.
"Oh," said Mophus, somehow even more disappointed, so disappointed that his face actually fell. He turned to the rest of the group, who were alternatively looking on shocked. whistling and looking anywhere else but, or chocking to death tryign not to laugh.
"You see," explained Mophus, "Leyla's just at it so much, and has such an appetite, it gets hard for a poor priest like me, I mean I can try and get it up but really it's just too much sometimes." Mophus looked sadly at the continued gazes. "Her shelf. She collectes the heaviest rock ornaments imagineable, hundreds of them, she's an insatiable collector. It fell down recently, and it is really heavy. I haven't been able to get it back up for weeks, even when using some rope to rig up a pully system. I mean every night I've tried and tired myself out. We could really do with a strong golem to do it for us!"
"Ooooooooooooooooooooh" said the group understandingly and relieved, except for the sections which had been chocking, which now chocked even more and were in tears.
"Yeah, I mean I get so tired out that Leyla and I haven't had deviant sheep-restraining sex for weeks!"
At this point, it's probably bets to just not the fact Mophus doens't have a grin, pick up the discared club if you like, and move on very quickly passed this trial to the next.
Go to 112
The golems starts advancing menacingly, swinging its club. The party takes a step backwards, except Mophus with his lacivious grin.
"That's a nice club!" said Mophus smiling.
"Umm," said the golem stopping. He tried to wave the club around threateningly to scare the grinning priest.
"Ooh," said Mophus with an even wider appreciative grin, "you certainly are skillful to be able to weild that big, long, thick heavy club the way you do. It must take alot of stamina to constantly heft that thing during your activities!" Moiphus's grin was wider, and his eyebrow raised in a sparling eyed implied question.
"Umm..." said the golem, droppign the club and surreptitiously placing it behind his leg out of the way of the gaze and grin.
"Oh, you can't be finding it heavy already, surely? A strong looking strapping golem such as yourself..." said Mophus, eyes already asking an obvious leading question.
"Umm..." said the golem backing off.
"Do you work out at all? You certainly look strong, doens't he look strong Leyla...I was just saying to you the other day that someone strong was what we could certainly be doing with..."
Leyla came over and appriased the golem and his ability to heft a strong club, and seemed just as delighted. She also wore a grin.
"Umm..." said the golem.
"You know, if you would be up to it, if you are not too tired from hefting your big, long heavy club already, I am very sure Leyla, and indeed myself, would very much appreicate it if you came around tonight - we have rope and everything, so that you could...."
The golem was so intimidated (especialyl since golems don't actually have anything...you know...there....) that he ran off screaming, dropping his heavy club.
"Oh," said Leyla, very disappointed.
"Oh," said Mophus, somehow even more disappointed, so disappointed that his face actually fell. He turned to the rest of the group, who were alternatively looking on shocked. whistling and looking anywhere else but, or chocking to death tryign not to laugh.
"You see," explained Mophus, "Leyla's just at it so much, and has such an appetite, it gets hard for a poor priest like me, I mean I can try and get it up but really it's just too much sometimes." Mophus looked sadly at the continued gazes. "Her shelf. She collectes the heaviest rock ornaments imagineable, hundreds of them, she's an insatiable collector. It fell down recently, and it is really heavy. I haven't been able to get it back up for weeks, even when using some rope to rig up a pully system. I mean every night I've tried and tired myself out. We could really do with a strong golem to do it for us!"
"Ooooooooooooooooooooh" said the group understandingly and relieved, except for the sections which had been chocking, which now chocked even more and were in tears.
"Yeah, I mean I get so tired out that Leyla and I haven't had deviant sheep-restraining sex for weeks!"
At this point, it's probably bets to just not the fact Mophus doens't have a grin, pick up the discared club if you like, and move on very quickly passed this trial to the next.
Go to 112
112
Our champions, what's left of them at least, piled through a gap in the wall.
"Only four more left", suggested Azizi as she ducked through. "And I thought bad luck came in threes" said a voice from the back of the party. Before Azizi could retort to the sarcastic member a wave of cold air washed over her. Those of you who are familiar with her normal attire, will appreciate the 'halting'(*) effect on her.
We find ourselves inside an icy cavern. The torches cast their light across to the other side where they can see a million reflections of light off the ice encrusted to the floor, walls and ceiling with movement at the back. With mist expelling from his mouth, Elija points to the darkness "There's something or someone there." The thing reveals itself.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Between Linflas' infravision and Wuuf's nose they ascertained it was a Demon standing between two large drums. In each tentacled arm, was a hefty stick lifted into the air ready to begin banging on the large barrels with freeze-dried adventurer skin wrapped over them. Not a menacing sight exactly, but a concerning one.
"We should all rush him. Maybe a few of us falls on our asses on the way there but we only need a few of us to take him out." was Hawk The Fearlesss suggestion.
"We require a more 'considered' approach" suggested Linflas in a condescending manner.
"OK", replied Hawk, "you can shoot him.... See, the other's think it's the safest bet. The only way to be sure." Linflas's jaw dropped at the suggestion, a pang of guilt already started in the gut of his stomach. Not that! he thought.
"I could do a sneaky and sly approach from around the side, you all distract him with hilarious antics, then I knock him out with his own club." suggested Alex rubbing his hands together.
So what to do?
> Fancy charging the demon across the slippery floor, 113.
> Put the sarcastic Elf to good use and get him to let loose an arrow into the Demon's hide, 114.
> Try your luck with Alex's suggestion and sneak across the treacherous cavern in the shadows, 115.
* Yes it's a bad joke, she's wearing a Halter.
Our champions, what's left of them at least, piled through a gap in the wall.
"Only four more left", suggested Azizi as she ducked through. "And I thought bad luck came in threes" said a voice from the back of the party. Before Azizi could retort to the sarcastic member a wave of cold air washed over her. Those of you who are familiar with her normal attire, will appreciate the 'halting'(*) effect on her.
We find ourselves inside an icy cavern. The torches cast their light across to the other side where they can see a million reflections of light off the ice encrusted to the floor, walls and ceiling with movement at the back. With mist expelling from his mouth, Elija points to the darkness "There's something or someone there." The thing reveals itself.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Between Linflas' infravision and Wuuf's nose they ascertained it was a Demon standing between two large drums. In each tentacled arm, was a hefty stick lifted into the air ready to begin banging on the large barrels with freeze-dried adventurer skin wrapped over them. Not a menacing sight exactly, but a concerning one.
"We should all rush him. Maybe a few of us falls on our asses on the way there but we only need a few of us to take him out." was Hawk The Fearlesss suggestion.
"We require a more 'considered' approach" suggested Linflas in a condescending manner.
"OK", replied Hawk, "you can shoot him.... See, the other's think it's the safest bet. The only way to be sure." Linflas's jaw dropped at the suggestion, a pang of guilt already started in the gut of his stomach. Not that! he thought.
"I could do a sneaky and sly approach from around the side, you all distract him with hilarious antics, then I knock him out with his own club." suggested Alex rubbing his hands together.
So what to do?
> Fancy charging the demon across the slippery floor, 113.
> Put the sarcastic Elf to good use and get him to let loose an arrow into the Demon's hide, 114.
> Try your luck with Alex's suggestion and sneak across the treacherous cavern in the shadows, 115.
* Yes it's a bad joke, she's wearing a Halter.
Last edited by ian_scho on Sat Mar 29, 2008 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
114
Do you really have Linflas and his bow? I mean really? It's alright if you don't really, just go to 116 but don't worry about it.
Otherwise, if you really have linflas and his bow...and I mean, really, really, if you don't its ok, it's not going to be bad for you, really, if you don't have him or his bow, no one will be mad, you can go to 116 at any time and no one will be upset, as long as you told the truth, that's the important thing...
...umm, yes, anyway, if you do have inflas and his bow, and he is of sound mind, then go to 117
If, however, poor linflas has had a truamatic experience last time he used his bow, then turn to 118 instead!
Do you really have Linflas and his bow? I mean really? It's alright if you don't really, just go to 116 but don't worry about it.
Otherwise, if you really have linflas and his bow...and I mean, really, really, if you don't its ok, it's not going to be bad for you, really, if you don't have him or his bow, no one will be mad, you can go to 116 at any time and no one will be upset, as long as you told the truth, that's the important thing...
...umm, yes, anyway, if you do have inflas and his bow, and he is of sound mind, then go to 117
If, however, poor linflas has had a truamatic experience last time he used his bow, then turn to 118 instead!
118
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Linflas, found himself looking down the shaft of his arrow yet again but with a sinking heart, which would later affect his aim as you shall see. This time however it was pointed at the back of Mophus's head. A curious occurance, you may think. Yet take in the scenario from the Demon's perspective, who was getting steadily more excited.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
With arms in the air, ready for some solid banging, the demon could see that something was going down. The appearance in the front of the party of this manically smiling, balding yet furry guy was a sure sign that action by the part of the adventurers was imminent. The wierde guy then did something strange. He opened all of his robes revealing his pasty white skin, some tattoos and a rather large piercing on one of his organs.... Curious. They don't normally do that. It couldn't help but focus on what the piercing actually was, and wonder about the intentions of it's owner as to what it was supposed to do. It had to be a ruse of somekind, yet as the owner started swinging the thing in a circular giratory motion it had an amusing effect.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
"Whoo-hooo!" Mophus said from the distance, knowing that the Demon's attention was pressed with fascination on his new penile piercing. He then stepped to the side.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
The demon saw the shiny piercing move in one large arc, but missed the fact that an elf had come into view wielding a bow and arrow.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test-"
THWACK
"-ycles!"
Linflas's arrow had hit the demon in the groin, with immediate immobilising effect.
Our party of champions carefully made their way across the trecherous cavern, safe in the knowledge that what ever the demon had planned for them, it was incapable of doing. Linflas passed by the quietly-groaning-curled-up-demon, sobbing. The weight of carnage weighed heavy in his mind and he will now be rendered useless for the rest of the journey. Maybe you could use him on a pressure plate, but not in a fight.
Go to the next test at 119.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Linflas, found himself looking down the shaft of his arrow yet again but with a sinking heart, which would later affect his aim as you shall see. This time however it was pointed at the back of Mophus's head. A curious occurance, you may think. Yet take in the scenario from the Demon's perspective, who was getting steadily more excited.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
With arms in the air, ready for some solid banging, the demon could see that something was going down. The appearance in the front of the party of this manically smiling, balding yet furry guy was a sure sign that action by the part of the adventurers was imminent. The wierde guy then did something strange. He opened all of his robes revealing his pasty white skin, some tattoos and a rather large piercing on one of his organs.... Curious. They don't normally do that. It couldn't help but focus on what the piercing actually was, and wonder about the intentions of it's owner as to what it was supposed to do. It had to be a ruse of somekind, yet as the owner started swinging the thing in a circular giratory motion it had an amusing effect.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
"Whoo-hooo!" Mophus said from the distance, knowing that the Demon's attention was pressed with fascination on his new penile piercing. He then stepped to the side.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
The demon saw the shiny piercing move in one large arc, but missed the fact that an elf had come into view wielding a bow and arrow.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test-"
THWACK
"-ycles!"
Linflas's arrow had hit the demon in the groin, with immediate immobilising effect.
Our party of champions carefully made their way across the trecherous cavern, safe in the knowledge that what ever the demon had planned for them, it was incapable of doing. Linflas passed by the quietly-groaning-curled-up-demon, sobbing. The weight of carnage weighed heavy in his mind and he will now be rendered useless for the rest of the journey. Maybe you could use him on a pressure plate, but not in a fight.
Go to the next test at 119.
113
You will need two six sided dice for this section. Got them?
Our champions make haste across the cavern, with numerous members falling on their rear ends right at the start.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!" shouted the demon, and started banging the drums.
The noise boomed across the echoing cavern, and seemed to be getting louder as the demon produced a kind of standing wave by banging in time with the returning echos.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Louder and louder the sound grew, and it suddenly became clear why icycles were the 'point' of attention for the demon - they were falling about the cavern, with a risk of impaling one of our squishy party! The intense noise and vibration was dislodging their attachment to the ceiling creating deadly falling projectiles.
Many of the party narrowly missed huge chunks of falling ice, and many found themselves flailing uselessly on the icy floor, carried away from their intended target.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Now then, back to those dice. Shove each one up your nose.
> If one falls out of your nostril, or you refuse to do such a horrible thing, lose a member of your party due to a falling icycle, and go back to 113!
> If you successfully placed each one up there without falling out (where forcing your head backwards and arching your spine over your chair is considered cheating), the party reach the other side successfully dodging the falling icycles, whacking the demon with his own clubs. Slip and slide on over to the next test at 119.
You will need two six sided dice for this section. Got them?
Our champions make haste across the cavern, with numerous members falling on their rear ends right at the start.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!" shouted the demon, and started banging the drums.
The noise boomed across the echoing cavern, and seemed to be getting louder as the demon produced a kind of standing wave by banging in time with the returning echos.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Louder and louder the sound grew, and it suddenly became clear why icycles were the 'point' of attention for the demon - they were falling about the cavern, with a risk of impaling one of our squishy party! The intense noise and vibration was dislodging their attachment to the ceiling creating deadly falling projectiles.
Many of the party narrowly missed huge chunks of falling ice, and many found themselves flailing uselessly on the icy floor, carried away from their intended target.
"Test of icycles! Test of icycles! Test of icycles!"
Now then, back to those dice. Shove each one up your nose.
> If one falls out of your nostril, or you refuse to do such a horrible thing, lose a member of your party due to a falling icycle, and go back to 113!
> If you successfully placed each one up there without falling out (where forcing your head backwards and arching your spine over your chair is considered cheating), the party reach the other side successfully dodging the falling icycles, whacking the demon with his own clubs. Slip and slide on over to the next test at 119.
115
Alex quickly grabbed some face blackening paint, and wrapped his dark cloak around him, lightly walking form shadow to shadow. He looked back to see what his companions were doing, and sawe the most bewildering sight.
Tiggy has a magnifier out. The group are standing in a wide circle as Daroou shakes his body in the centre. The demon is gestured for, and reluctantly walks across, TIggy giving him the magnifier.
The whole party laugh out loud with cruel glee, and Alex almost forgets to go get the now discarded club.
*BANG*
"What on earth were you lot doing?" asked Alex annoyed, "I asked you to create a hilarious distraction and...well...you just gathered in a circle.
Tigg still held a megnifier and somehting else - she held up the palm of her hand and let Alex see wit hthe magnifier.
"It's an ant...with an amusing facial tick...oh..." said Alex
Tiggy and Daroou nodded at their cleverness, while Alex simply shook his head and muttered to himself and occasionally kicked the floor loudly.
The party have passed the ice cavern! Although Alex has lost his abilioty to be stealthy since he is muttering and kicking quite loudly now.
Go to 119
Alex quickly grabbed some face blackening paint, and wrapped his dark cloak around him, lightly walking form shadow to shadow. He looked back to see what his companions were doing, and sawe the most bewildering sight.
Tiggy has a magnifier out. The group are standing in a wide circle as Daroou shakes his body in the centre. The demon is gestured for, and reluctantly walks across, TIggy giving him the magnifier.
The whole party laugh out loud with cruel glee, and Alex almost forgets to go get the now discarded club.
*BANG*
"What on earth were you lot doing?" asked Alex annoyed, "I asked you to create a hilarious distraction and...well...you just gathered in a circle.
Tigg still held a megnifier and somehting else - she held up the palm of her hand and let Alex see wit hthe magnifier.
"It's an ant...with an amusing facial tick...oh..." said Alex
Tiggy and Daroou nodded at their cleverness, while Alex simply shook his head and muttered to himself and occasionally kicked the floor loudly.
The party have passed the ice cavern! Although Alex has lost his abilioty to be stealthy since he is muttering and kicking quite loudly now.
Go to 119
Last edited by beowuuf on Tue Apr 08, 2008 8:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
117
Democracy, when invented by the Elves a milennia ago before the other younger races were even conceived from the womb of mother Earth, was thought of as a gift from the gods. It brought together their race in a single mindset and helped guide them through some of their most difficult times. They bound themselves to it, intwining each eldar soul to one another as if they were one. Indeed, when they finally voted to pass on the knowledge to the dwarves and later to the other races, they thought of it as their ultimate gift.
Imagine their horror then, when the other races incorporated their idea, and simply corrupted it. The Elves just didn't realise that people are stupid, scared and ignorant. Some races applied 'democracy' to those who only had land, others to those of a certain birth or descent. It was amazing to find Mermen deciding whether to bestow the right to vote based on the colour of their caviar...
And now we find Linflas another victim of 'democracy', bow and arrow in hand pointed at a demon's chest. The others know that this is not the right thing to do, yet it's the path of least resistance, the one sure way to advance without too much recourse. It was sad and Linflas was angry, which will change to a deep depression.
He let go.
He felt the sinking in his soul.
He felt the bad karma rain upon his being.
Move somewhat melancholically to 119.
Democracy, when invented by the Elves a milennia ago before the other younger races were even conceived from the womb of mother Earth, was thought of as a gift from the gods. It brought together their race in a single mindset and helped guide them through some of their most difficult times. They bound themselves to it, intwining each eldar soul to one another as if they were one. Indeed, when they finally voted to pass on the knowledge to the dwarves and later to the other races, they thought of it as their ultimate gift.
Imagine their horror then, when the other races incorporated their idea, and simply corrupted it. The Elves just didn't realise that people are stupid, scared and ignorant. Some races applied 'democracy' to those who only had land, others to those of a certain birth or descent. It was amazing to find Mermen deciding whether to bestow the right to vote based on the colour of their caviar...
And now we find Linflas another victim of 'democracy', bow and arrow in hand pointed at a demon's chest. The others know that this is not the right thing to do, yet it's the path of least resistance, the one sure way to advance without too much recourse. It was sad and Linflas was angry, which will change to a deep depression.
He let go.
He felt the sinking in his soul.
He felt the bad karma rain upon his being.
Move somewhat melancholically to 119.
116
From the demon's point of view, they were cheating. Cheating in a most underhand and ungentlemanly manner. It was annoying and frustrating. After the first 30 minutes of shouting "Test of icycles!" he stopped, realising his defeat.
We can see our champions casting fireballs, and have been now for the past 3 hours. Some of them are throwing them everywhere. The frost encrusted fur of Daroou had melted to a wet mat, and the floor around his feet had become a cold, soggy, sludge of inconvenience. It was safer that way of course, as the raising temperature and the hurling of fireballs dislodged some of the icycles and sent them crashing down to the cavern floor one at a time. It had basically been 3 hours of casting mana potions or fireball spells along a 2 meter wide corridoor across the cavern.
"Can I hit him first?" inquired Daroou. The others told him to be patient, and wait his turn.
When they finally got to the other side the demon did nor said anything. They quietly passed him by, ignoring his agitation.
To 119 then, and leave the cold glare of the demon.
From the demon's point of view, they were cheating. Cheating in a most underhand and ungentlemanly manner. It was annoying and frustrating. After the first 30 minutes of shouting "Test of icycles!" he stopped, realising his defeat.
We can see our champions casting fireballs, and have been now for the past 3 hours. Some of them are throwing them everywhere. The frost encrusted fur of Daroou had melted to a wet mat, and the floor around his feet had become a cold, soggy, sludge of inconvenience. It was safer that way of course, as the raising temperature and the hurling of fireballs dislodged some of the icycles and sent them crashing down to the cavern floor one at a time. It had basically been 3 hours of casting mana potions or fireball spells along a 2 meter wide corridoor across the cavern.
"Can I hit him first?" inquired Daroou. The others told him to be patient, and wait his turn.
When they finally got to the other side the demon did nor said anything. They quietly passed him by, ignoring his agitation.
To 119 then, and leave the cold glare of the demon.