Dungeon Master Forum

http://dmweb.free.fr/Stuff/images/siren2WIP.jpg


looking for honest feedback.. I'm trying to complete this painting and it's kicking my @$$.

I'm thinking of putting some more stones around and one larger one tothe right of her with runes on it.

thoughts? ideas?

moo

Beautiful scene, the characters have very detailed faces, I like the palette of colors.

Some comments (IMHO):
both characters look very dry, some drops of water would suggest the siren has just pulled the body out of the water.
The man have his lips very pink for a drowned.
The bakground, in particular at the limit between water and floor, looks too fuzzy to my taste.
I think the 2nd leg (!) of the siren should be more visible, so the position of her body is more obvious.
And yes, I think some elements near her knee would allow a triangle-shaped "reading" of the picture that would be comfortable to the eyes.
There is a shadow between the 2 parallel thin trees that doesn't look very natural to me.
I am also slightly disturbed by the way the trees connect to the ground, but I can't put my finger on what's wrong.
And last, there is a dark horizontal shape behind the 2 characters (which gives an excellent line for the composition by the way) that I interpret as a tree. But its color fades near the right zone of the picture, so it becomes hardly recognizable. Maybe a branch pointing from this zone to more or less over the head of the siren would help to identify the shape and to trinagle the coñposition.


Somehow, the guy reminds me of Aragorn, by the way.


Oh, I did mention that I'm picky, did I?

thanks for the feedback.. I do have some water drops on them but somehow it doesn't translate..

The background and trees are only blocked in.. there is nothing done to them at this point and so need to be cleaned up. As such they are VERY basic so they will look odd untill I get to them (the painting is over 3300x2500 res, so it's taking a looong time) floor as well.. just painted in one colour so far.. not texture to it yet

the second leg.. this is where it get's hard.. there was the other leg drawn.. but it vanishes under the water as I've painted it.. I fear she will be off balance if I raise it.. :/ I'll try it though

the shadow in the air will vanish.. it's a scrible that shouldn't be there.. I agree

anyway.. some good comments.. thanks again

and yes.. he's a bit between aragorn and Liam Neeson.. not sure why.. I used no refs for him.. just from my head.. so I guess I have actors on the brain

moo

I really like the siren...damn good from features to form

Personally i think runes on the stone would spoil it a little...and i would also be tempted to say don't do the trees at all - stick with large/small stones and scrub...

A large stone, drawn not from a real texture (i know that's probably evil to say on such a large res picture!) with subtle muted lines and crevices at her back (as if she was levering against that) with smaller stones and scrub to the right, with sand beneath coming past her knee...a sort of unneveness
Then have the trees very faded in tha background

I think the background should be faded and simple to complement rather than detract from the more simple tones and shapes on the siren
If the water isn't showing up, a few small traces of sand on the knee and clothing of the sailor might do the trick for a bit of contrasting grit?
And i don't miss the second leg : )

That's my 2 cents : )

updated ... refresh the image

Fuzzface, I could make the stones behind her bigger.. that might work..

I spent so much time ont he woods now I don't think I want to redo it again.. you must understand this is the 3rd background I've done so far..

Had a night sky with jagged rocks and a hit of a ship in the back.. then a large crashed ship and her pushing a head under.. and now this..


moo

Actually, it seems fine now you've added the rocks : )

There is still a shoreline marker visible on the right, but otherwise I think it looks good

Just a quick comment on my lightning visit today: don't know what that is on the guys arm, gut it's way too sharp... draws the eye to it for no good reason.

true, it needs to be less 'there' in terms of colours or texture to fit in with the rest of the picture

Maybe you could give his shirt a rip or so, for me it looks a bit too neat for the state he's in

Background and clour choice is very nice, the lady looks a little too "smooth" for me - like coming from a mold... but that may on the other hand be your intention.

Regards, PitD

Oh yes, it is much better now! The overall aspect is very convincing, colors are beautiful, composition is fair to the eye, the scene is good...
Thank you for bearing my critics!
Am I the only one to see a light-made man is the brightest part of the background?

I went and redid the whole bkg again.. sigh.. too many comments about it being out of place.. sigh.. went with the crashed boat theme again..

On a side note. I have no internet since tuesday.. Telus has also informed me I have no chance of getting someone to fix it before wednesday.. which as we all know does not ensure it will work by then.. and I am loath to change providers so close to my wanting to move.. Since there will be a fee to transfer services anyway once I get my new place.

anyway, I'll try to update this image from work here.. Also if anyone has tried emailing me you won't get me untill I get my internet back.


moo

well, I think this is as far as I'm taking her..

dmweb.free.fr/Stuff/images/siren640.jpg

moo

Beautiful fire and smouldering effects... good improvements!

Reards, PitD

Woot! or something... I much prefer this interpretation: more dynamic, better lighting, more moody and a better picture all round. As hard as it must have been to change, congrats on having the courage to re-work it into a better composition.

I fully agree with Gambit! Good work!

ditto : )

wow! You completely redone the background! I can only find positive thoughts and feelings about the result!
Everything has already been said, so I will just join the cheering team:
Thumbs up!

Another fine piece of work there matey. Ooh how I wish I could produce something like that.

well.. if you really want to cheer. You could go to www.gfxartist.com and vote for it. (members section/ mythical women T-shirt contest) give it a nice big healthy vote

and give votes to others you think deserve it too.

I know there are a lot of them that are having their friends vote for them.. something I never do, but I want my T-shirt damnit!

moo

lol, i think a t-shirt is the least you deserve dammit

except my drink-addled brain can't seem to find the actual voting part ,just the thread with the rules....

edit: nm, found it....

yeah, you have to register.. but don't worry you don't need to post artwork or anything. Tonnes of people on there who aren't artists they just like to comment and surf the forums and vote on artwork etc..

moo

it just kept pausing on the registration page rather than lettign me register..ah well....

I like the pricness one, siracco, the dryad, and the medusa fractal is kinda weird....

I would add the tip of a sword coming out of the water to the right side of the painting. Just for the effect of it. All in all a wonderful image.