Dungeon Master Forum

Come on, 'fess up folks. Have you ever had a really crap idea for custom dungeon?

I had one recently, this being "The Screamers Strike Back". The scenario is as follows:

The Screamers' union, fed up with having sand kicked in their faces by both adventurers and more powerful monsters alike have decided to exact revenge. To this end, their leader Arthur Squeakgill has created some genetically modified anthropomorphic screamers, four of which will be sent on a hit and *ahem* run mission. The player gets to choose from Simon the Screamer, Susan the Screamer, Sean the Screamer, Selena the Screamer, Eric the half-a-screamer (had an accident) etc.

Their mission is to visit various human strongholds and wreak havoc. These would be totally anachronistic so one level could be say, the British Houses of Parliament where they would have to do battle with dangereous beasts such as John Prescott and Anne Widdicombe. Another level could be Camelot where foes would include King Arthur, the Knights Who Say Ni, the Vorpal Bunny etc. The conduits to these human places would contain normal dungeon monsters who naturally would be hoping for a screamer slice or two for lunch.

The climax to the dungeon would be on about level 7 or so (under Union regulations screamers are not required to venture lower) when our heroes gatecrash the DM 20th anniversary party. Their goal being to exact the ultimate revenge on all dungeon designers, by killing them and eating their remains. When the last Doug Bell slice is eaten the game ends, as does the DM Universe. Then the Grey Lord appears and recreates it, and as a punishment sentences the screamers to be killed over and over by zero-level adventurers for all eternity.

Words fail me...mostly because I am singing Eric the half a bee song in my best cleese voice ; )

This is fabuloous! Make it so!

These are the kind of things I love. 10 points out of 10 from me!

Cyril Connelly?

Who is he?

I believe he is the chap mentioned in the lyrics to "Eric the Half a Bee" when Michael Palin mis-hears them singing "Semi carnally"...

ah thanks.I'm afraid it doesn't ring a bell.
I read sth. like that when googling for Cyril Connelly, but I don't know what is it all about , so nevermind. I should get to watch
Eric the Half a Bee .. don't know if Des has intentionally or accidentially put the Half a Screamer into his post?
I imagined the half-a-screamer an screamer with a screamer slice missing.. literally

Pretty sure Des was being deliberate -- which is why Beo commented on it and I followed up.... us Brits have to stick together, right?

Des wrote:Have you ever had a really crap idea for custom dungeon?

Me? Never?

No, seriously, my stupid idea was something called "Food Fight," where all of the weapons are edible and given attack methods. You can stab with corn, apples explode, and so on.

Perhaps the plot would be something like the screamers, worms, rats, hell hounds, and dragons decide to band together and attack the land...

A fun idea. Perhaps it could be used in a sort of Howgarts scenario, in which young would-be adventurers attend Dungeon School. There they use the magic food to practice with and it all gets out of hand one day with a mass fight in the dining hall. The ringleaders (the party) are then suspended from the school and have to do a mighty quest in order to get reinstated....

Or some kind of spell cocks up and turns the whole school into some kind of giant deathtrap, populated by such things as mutated teachers and gigantic death hamsters, from which you must then escape .

I have a lot of daft dungeon ideas. Maybe one day you'll get to see them all gathered in one single dungeon. That is, if I ever finish it...

I was thinking of doing some sort of Knight-Orc rip-off, where you'd replace the bitmaps for the baddies with bitmaps of adventurers, and you'd just be a trolin and his mates.

Or perhaps I'd finally write that quest where you are the actual dungeon builders who are fed-up, unpaid, double crossed and looking for revenge - obviously lots of push-block puzzles and the obligatory union-member dwarf foreman.

And cheers, I've got Monty Python in my head too as well now!

Monty Python is sweet, they got the Flying Circus on at around 10:30 now where I live.

I might treat myself to the film boxset... hmmm, perhaps we should have more killer bunny rabbits in dungeons... imagine that as a final boss!

approximately a year ago, i planned to make a little 'Munchkin" dungeon with the same naive pencil style as found in the SJ card game.
for people who didn't know this amazing card game, here are a few scans :

I must say, Mr.Bones is absolutely terrifying!

As for bad dungeon ideas, I was going to do an Arena of Death with super-charged heroes, your enemies....................Why floating David Brent heads of course!

I managed to import the bitmaps and everything, but I had a moment of realisation where I literally said "What the f+++ am I doing", and erased The Arena of Death, and all those David Brents, to the recycle bin.