Dungeon Master Forum

OK all, here's a new Christmas story for this year with different rules!!! It offers more flexibility to be creative yet still be funny and silly.

Overview:
Simply add ONE SHORT SENTENCE to the thread each time you post to continue the story. Try to continue the story reasonably coherently but don't be afraid to introduce quirks, oddness or new characters, situations or plot devices. Just make sure it's *reasonably* plausible. Try and be funny. If you're not funny, don't take part!

Rules:

(1)You do not talk about Christmas Story Thread IN the Christmas Story Thread...remember, only ONE SENTENCE per post, and you cannot post in reply to your own word. To discuss the thread or story, see the SUMMARY thread instead:
http://www.dungeon-master.com/forum/vie ... hp?p=74092

For added humour feel free to not finish your own sentence and leave it hanging. The next person should then finish the sentence, and has the option of starting (but not finishing) a second.

(2a). You cannot reply to your OWN post -- someone else must continue the story.

(2b). In the event of multiple replies posted at the same time, the FIRST person who posted must edit their post to match what comes next.

(3). Don't swear or use jargon for the sake of it as it will probably ruin a fun sentence. Follow your instincts.

(4). The story must mention ALL the Dungeon Master champions.

Beo's additional rule:
You get bonus points if you can mention board members, preferably as obscure comments and links rather than characters in the story - eg. Stamm was looking at his lollipops while Hissssa was sucin' um - or soemthing...

(5). Moderators rules, suggestions and explicit instructions are final... except when they aren't.

(6). The rules can be changed or added to at any time by moderators, but not by plebs.

OK, them there is the rules. Here is the setting for the story. Please continue it however you see fit!

======================================

"Blargh! Damn and blast yer googley eyes, ya sweaty lizard!"

Stamm drunkenly swiped a hairy palm at the wide-eyed Hisssa, as he tried to scramble up the sheer damp wall for the fourth time. Far above him, against the dark O of the well down which they fallen, Gothmog peered down at the disoriented party. His dimly glowing eyes could just be seen in the dark.

"You bloody muppets!" he screeched in rage. Leaning over the side of the well, he tried to throw a handy stone at Stamm and barely managed to stop himself falling in. "You've got my tankard! I want it back!"

Hissa blinked stupidly at the blank visage above him. "Whaaaa you on abaaaht you sneaky black cowled bugger?"

"My tankard!" yelled Gothmog in return, "It's in your backpack. Give it here or I'll come down and chop off your tail!"

"Doesn't matter" grunted the immense lizard, "It'll only grown back".

Stamm tried once again the climb the wall and failed. He collapsed onto his haunches and fell back against the wall. Hisssa watched him groggily, the drunken antics of the Christmas Party beginning to come back to him. Looking around, he tried to make out who else had fallen down the well. Zed was unconscious in a heap of arms and legs while a form slowly tried to shuffle itself off his head. Hisssa realised the form was Chani. Her moonstone glinted in the light from the torch he had managed to light after the fall. "Nice moonstone" thought Hisssa appreciatively.

From far above Gothmog shouted down again, "I don't care how many times it grows back, scaly face, I'll keep cutting it off and feeding it to Edward, my pet duck. Now, climb out you stupid sods and give me my tankard back! Don't forget, we promised we'd go to Old Grey Lord's Vicars and Tarts Themed Christmas Meal tomorrow. He's promised to cook those ocelot spleens and rabbit's noses!"

Hissssa looked around. Food was the last thing on his mind. He needed to pee. He couldn't even begin to think how to get back out again. Maybe it would be OK if he just had a little doze...

Nabi, the prophet of science and reason, stirred slowly as a giant thought came to him, "We could build this...badger..."

"Enough with your stupid badger Idea you badger loving hermaphrodite!" Snapped Gando as he began searching for hand holds in the wells sidewalls.

<CLICK> "...Ohhh!" exclaimed Gando.

"I think I found something!" he said starting to dance around excitedly, "yes, it is...its' a DDR game... we shan't go bored now!"

Stamm was not impressed, and attempted to put his foot on the top of Gando's head to lift him up.

But Gando was already dancing around frenetically, his eyes overloaded with joy over his discovery, so Stamm missed.

Daroou, who was awaiting his turn at DDR, caught Stamm's arm and prevented him from falling on Tiggy who was still pleasantly snoring.

Due to Daroou's low intelligent quotient he just still couldnt work out how it was that so many of them fell down the well in the first place.

Tiggy finally openend her eyes, looked around and exclaimed "Alright, whose fault was it THIS time?", eyeing Daroou suspiciously.

Daroou had drunk a lot of alchol it was true, but then he wasnt the one trying to pee into a bota.

"If you are going to piss about so am I!" said Gothmog belligerantly from above, "now gimme my bloody tankard!"

Suddenly, Zed sprung from his drunken stupor and ran around waving his arms crazily in the air, shrieking "It's the war of the cockroaches and they SMELL!"

Tiggy tried to pat Zed's arm reassuringly but he was moving so fast she had to move crazily to catch up with him, causing the DDR machine to declare her the winner and spit out the grand prize.

"Wow!" she exclaimed as Zed continued to run in impossibly large circles around the floor of the tiny well.

Zed stopped as he realised there was actually a large crack in the well wall they could explore, but Daroou threw a pee-soaked bota away in disgust and it knocked Zed unconscious before he could say anything.

Tiggy meanwhile examined her prize, marvelling at it's long slender form, perfectly chiselled ridges and small cap switch that made it buzz when twisted.

"So that's where it was!", yelled Nabi, "that devilish machine stole my toy!"

Nabi danced around happier than the winner of a DDR contest, "Why now I can finish my fiendish Vibrating Badger of Doom!"

Zed looked at him, completely puzzled, and, with tears coming to his eyes, slowly said "But... but... you promised me you'd build the Vibrating Badger of Smelly-Cockroach-Eating!"

From above Gothmog looked down at the morass of madness and wondered if the only way to get his Ven Ra tankard back was to jump in feet first.

Suddenly, as he peered into the moist gloom, the rotten old wall he was balanced on collapsed in a cloud of dust and mould, tumbling him down the slippery shaft into the chaos below.

Wuuf the Bika, who witnessed the event in slo-mo, jumped off his Yamaha 500 and instead of trying to save poor old Gothmog, licked his testicles instead.

Edit: Changed Biker to Bika

From far below, an embarrased and disgusted Gothmog (who's fall had been broken by Syra's soft bosom), shouted back at Wuuf "Keep your incredibly long tongue to yourself, you smelly mongrel!"

"And keep your hands to yourself!" Shouted Syra, removing Gothmogs from her chest.

Wuuf ran to the well and looked down, but missed his footing and slipped on a large screamer kebab.

Wuuf carried on a slippery path over the edge of the well, and Daroou now realised how everyone managed to get stuck here as he got a smelly biker in the face - "Eew, watch the B.O. Wuuf!"

A jumbled heap in the corner suddenly moved and a somewhat dishevelled Iaido staggered to his feet, mumbling something that sounded like "Has anyone seen my sword?"

"Crack!" screamed a newly conscious Zed, suddenly startling everyone and causing Stamm to look lewdly at Chani's moonstone.

"Ah, here's your sword Iaido" said Gothmog, pulling a rather mangled falchion from beneath Chani's inert body... "Hey - you never told me you had a Vorpal blade".