Dungeon Master Forum

It's that time of year again, and let's go back to a traditional format to create a silly Christmas story. Here's the guidelines:

1) Each person adds one sentence to the story at a time, taking turns to expand on the story. Try to stay with the flow, but also feel free to be silly or random if you think it's fine.
2) Anyone is free to add a story sentence, just do not post multiple times in a row. You must wait for someone to reply to your sentence before you get another go.
3) Try not to be too cute with expanding the sentence to epic lengths. Brevity of the soul of wit. Sometimes
4) If two people post at the same time, then the first person is responsible for altering their sentence to fit. If all else fails, delete it and add a new sentence later!
5) There is a summary thread here to keep up to date.
6) The story will wrap up around the first week of the new year unless it has huge momentum. Maybe sooner.
7) Have fun!

Ready?

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MURDER MOST FOWL!!! A DM Christmas story

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house not a sound could be heard...except a blood curdling scream!

And when I say house, what I mean is the huge mansion of Theron. He had build it beside Mount Anaias to be close to the Grey Lord, though that meant the odd critters who lurked in its depth could come out.

However, an Archmaster should be able to take care of himself...what had happened? And to whom? And how? And where?

"I am afraid you are all suspects," said Theron's butler, Zyx.

"What is the crime?" asked Halk, worried his cunning placement of mistletoe would be in vain in this current crisis.

"I am afraid I cannot say," said Zyx, bowing out of the room then laughing evilly outside of the door.

Twenty-four champions of good looked across at each other, wondering who was perhaps less champion-y than they should be. And in what way. And when. And where.

"So, are we the only suspects?" asked Zed allowed, feeling put out.

"A more important question," said Gothmog, pointing to a corner of the room, "is this:"

...

"Why is that gigantic purple worm belly dancing in a tutu in the middle of the room?"

"See", Nabi whispered to Syra, "I told him not to sniff those mushrooms, but does he EVER listen, noo..."

"Well, maybe the mushrooms are the key to this whole murder-mystery!" giggled Syra to herself, hugging her pet screamer and inhaling deeply.

Zed scowled and added in an overly pednatic tone: "Must have affected his eyesight badly. Why's he pointing in the corner and talking about the middle of the room?"

"More importantly," said the Trolin holding the bloody knife who was standing by the open secret door, "why has he left his hood in the corner?"

"Wait, where did YOU come from?!", yelled Stamm, drawing his axe alarmedly.

Syra looked at the Trolin (who was dressed as a giant uncooked turkey) and eeked: "Eek! A nasty trolin with a bloody knife standing by a secret door!" while jumping neatly into Daroou's hairy arms.

Luckily, Daroou's hair provided camouflage for a new temporal body extension, caused by the warm, soft body in his gigantic hairy arms.

Meanwhile Mophus proceeded to show Stamm in graphic detail, using the help of Leyla, exactly where Trolins came from.

"You know", said Tiggy to Boris, looking disapprovingly at Mophus, "I think he kept me for all those years just because my height was perfect for... you know..."

"Holding the blackboard, I know," said Boris ruefully, "it was the with me and Leyla when she wanted to use her teacher's outfit."

Just then, Zyx evilly returned, looking evil and making evil noises with his evil tongue in his evil mouth.

"Well, my friends", he said, grinning evilly, "you all see the knife... but whose blood may it be?"

He eyed them all evilly while twirling some blueprints in his left hand; you could just make out the title: "Conflux: The Revenge."

Looking at the blueprints, Wuuf whispered to Gando: "I wonder if I still get to keep my Beobow!"

Gando raised a smile but before he could say something clever, Zyx boomed at everyone: "Stop your pointless gassing and listen to me!"

"One of you is dead, though he - or she, I might add - may not know that yet!"

"It's not me!" said Elija, being dragged about over Leif's shoulders, "I feel happy!"

Elija was not fooling anyone however, and the champions quickly huddled together trying to work out which one of them had commited the ghastly and horrific murder of the still alive and happy and unmarkd Elija.

Suddenly, Wu Tse leaned forwards and said in a hushed voice:

"Would anyone like to see my spicy sausage?"

"Listen, sister", said Iaido matter-of-factly, "I know you are called SON of Heaven for no apparent reason, but trust me, you don't HAVE a spicy sausage!"

Wu Tse looked crestfallen, took a long salami out of her backapck and munched on it quietly while the rest of the gang cooked up theories about their new predicament.

The Trolin obligingly used his knife to cut the salami into bite sized chunks, 'accidentally' cleaning the blood from it and 'accidentally' cackling that the evidence was being eaten.

Wu Tse tried to get the attention of the rest of the gang by waving her sausage about, but the small pieces simply flew everywhere raising nary a peep from the engrossed enclave.

"I think it might be Wu-Tse," said Gothmog waggling his fiery eye-brows, "he/she seems to be waving a bloody sausage around menacingly."

"Nah, I don't think so, he's such a girl he couldn't get himself killed if he tried" disagreed unspeciified Champion# 13.

"It might be me", sobbed Hissssa, "ever since Chani left me, I don't feel anything anymore..."

"I just went to the bloody toilet for two seconds while you were looking at DVDs* in HMV*" said Chani angrily, "will I ever hear the end of it!"