I challenge you II .... an insult swordfight

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 9:24 am

@MW: Meh! This was not a proper insult (we fight "one-against-one" and not "alle-gegen-alle"), and you didn't give any reaction to any previous insult! Insult fighting has its rules, more strict than e.g. cricket, and if you don't learn these rules, and if you don't pass THE THREE TRIALS(TM), you cannot become a pirate!

@Everyone-else: This thread is totally derailed, and, more interestingly, it is for the first time when it is not my fault! Yippee!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:14 am

Jan wrote:Your father was a shepherd, and you mother was one of his sheep!

Your mother was a shepherd, and your father was one of her sheep-hounds!

MasterWuuf wrote:All of you would mumble less, if you'd only remove your 'booger encrusted' fingers from your mouths.

I don't know about the booger-munching rest, I was mumbling because I was trying not to gag at the thought of the previous insult.

Jan wrote:@Everyone-else: This thread is totally derailed, and, more interestingly, it is for the first time when it is not my fault! Yippee! [/i]

Au contraire, everyone derailed this thread as a means to escape from thinking on your questionable parentage.

I fight for honour and justice, while you fight to remember which way the sword goes.

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:57 am

What a vivid imagination! It would be my honour to do justice and get rid of you!

You have dexterity of an elephant calf after a dinner!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:00 pm

(Well played sir)

You have the stench of that calf's wind after dinner!

People must line up for hours just to remark at such a wretch as you ever having made it to 'adulthood'

MasterWuuf · Post by **MasterWuuf** » Tue Oct 06, 2009 9:05 pm

Jan wrote:@MW: Meh! This was not a proper insult (we fight "one-against-one" and not "alle-gegen-alle"), and you didn't give any reaction to any previous insult! Insult fighting has its rules, more strict than e.g. cricket, and if you don't learn these rules, and if you don't pass THE THREE TRIALS(TM), you cannot become a pirate!

@Everyone-else: This thread is totally derailed, and, more interestingly, it is for the first time when it is not my fault! Yippee!

O.K. my lately

Spoiler

'deranged'

derailed Jan...

YOU would be better understood if you removed your 'booger infested' knuckles from your mouth.

I nearly gagged, voicing such an extreme injunction
against such a high ranking gutter-jumper as the one and only Jan.

We Masterwuuf types suffer so much from the consideration of moronic epitaphs.

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:42 am

Hehe, no problem, Masterwuufie, I'll reply later, once I catch my breath after reading your newest insults!

MasterWuuf · Post by **MasterWuuf** » Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:17 pm

Jan wrote:Hehe, no problem, Masterwuufie, I'll reply later, once I catch my breath after reading your newest insults!

Just in case you forget to reply later, a helpful music video for your listening pleasure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8KXsJZYLXw

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:37 pm

MasterWuuf wrote:YOU would be better understood if you removed your 'booger infested' knuckles from your mouth.

And YOU will be better understood if I remove your 'booger infested' head from your neck!

I would cut off your head with one swing, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground. But in your case, I will have to use two swings!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:19 pm

There's only one of me, you drunken fool!

Maybe you aren't drunk, maybe you stagger around because you can't fight and walk at the same time!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:42 pm

I stagger around because I am half-poisoned by your stinking breath!

Stop talking, please. This is a sword combat - the Spitting Tournament is held on the other island!

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Thu Oct 08, 2009 7:59 pm

No, the spitting combat is right here, when I use my sword as a spit to roast you on!

Did you know they named a new venereal disease after you?

Bit · Post by **Bit** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:20 am

Bit enters the visitors lounge of the arena, sits down and has some popcorn.
Then grabs his old dungeon master spell book and looks for a spell that summons those weapon-grabbing thieves. Will make things more amusing

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:13 pm

beowuuf wrote:Did you know they named a new venereal disease after you?

And did you know you were the first and only person to be infected with this disease by a dog? (from a dog???)

If I ever need a brain-transplant, I would like to get your brain - it's unused and intact.

(well, I'm not sure if these insults are gramaticaly correct, but I hope they're understandable)

Bit wrote:a spell that summons those weapon-grabbing thieves.

Hey, where's my dictionary?! Why, you little...!

MasterWuuf · Post by **MasterWuuf** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:09 pm

Jan wrote:
MasterWuuf wrote:YOU would be better understood if you removed your 'booger infested' knuckles from your mouth.
And YOU will be better understood if I remove your 'booger infested' head from your neck!

I would cut off your head with one swing, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground. But in your case, I will have to use two swings!

Are you suggesting I have a large head? Grrr. I'm totally crushed.
What was left of my self esteem is wallowing in pity.

The fact of the matter is that you don't have the strength to swing a sword,
so you are forced to 'drag' it around with you.

And when DID a snake have the ability to carry a sword?

P.S. I'm sending you a picture of Beo, which I found on the Post Office wall,
which is proof enough of how much more gentle and sophisticated
we MasterWuuf types are than our distant cousins.

(Beo, at his last photo session)

Sad fact: Beo's (is that pronounced Bee Ohh?) breath would clean out the insides of an old coffee pot.

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:34 pm

MasterWuuf wrote:And when DID a snake have the ability to carry a sword?

And when DID a pile of manure have the ability to speak?

I once had a SOCK that was smarter than you!

(Ad Beo's picture: Yuck! I wouldn't like to meet him in a forest... although I'm a bit surprised that you have these pictures in Post Offices... are you sure that there was no "Wanted!" sign attached? )

(Ad MW's avatar: Cool! Although I preferred your previous one - it was really funny. But I like this one too! You're changing your avatars faster than I do! Only... this animation... is it snow (then it would be really "cool"), or is the wolf kind of shining? )

MasterWuuf · Post by **MasterWuuf** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:08 am

Hmm. I fear it may be tiny, itsy, bitsy, little

Spoiler

Jans

mites. Har, har, har. Gotcha!

P.S. How do you know I have the ability to speak, since we only communicate through keyboards?
Did you READ MY MIND again??? I didn't know you spent so much time reading comics.

Post by **Gambit37** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:35 am

[This thread seems to have gone a bit mental!]

Bit · Post by **Bit** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:15 am

Hm... I thought they'll slap old style without weapons. You need blood?

We will have to repair them, no nurse here...
Then again - this old altar of vi still works?
*grins*
(Bit unsummons the thieves)

But Gambit - if you resurrect them - try two the same time. This hasn't been tested yet...

MasterWuuf · Post by **MasterWuuf** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:42 am

Gambit37 wrote:[This thread seems to have gone a bit mental!]

HA! And how, my good

Spoiler

FIEND

friend, would you know anything about THAT!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 1:17 pm

Gambit37 wrote:[This thread seems to have gone a bit mental!]

A bit mental? I wouldn't say it, if I were you - there is still Bit around, and his tiny weapon-grabbing thieves! Beware! They're coming! They still have my dictionary!

"Oh, come, you little fellows, come here, don't be afraid, I won't hurt you!" *prepares a high level fireball* "I won't hurt you - I promise!"

But I have to agree that this is mental - mental, and totally derailed too - I tried to fix it a few times, but I'm giving it up now. So the combat loses its rules now and we can open a brutal and unlimited "alle-gegen-alle" melee.

beowuuf · Post by **beowuuf** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 2:02 pm

Those weren't posters at your Post Office, those were mirrors! Fun house mirrors so the picture actually looked normal, like me!

The only thieves that have stolen items from you are the memory fairies who have stolen your badly guarded wits in your feeble mind!

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 3:42 pm

Those wit-stealing memory fairies would be jobless in your mind!

Your muscles are so tiny that you could carry a needle on your shoulder!

Duckman · Post by **Duckman** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:30 am

YE'R muscles be so tiny that a needle would be enough as a collar bone for ye.

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:28 am

OK. This was a good move, Sir! But... any new insults, Duckman?

Bit · Post by **Bit** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:10 pm

Stolen dictionary - oh dammit! Why must each spell that I cast have those bad sideeffects!
If he translates the spells wrong, it hits me, and me and always me, I'm soooo sure about!
Where's my helmet?

(Bit writes a memory scroll entitled: 'prime directive'. "Never engage on slapping folks". He's absolutely sure that will be useful one day!)

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:38 pm

You're the real Catweazle wizard!

Duckman · Post by **Duckman** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 8:15 pm

You'r helemet be ye'r skull Bit! It be thick enough to protect from anythin'! (As with me in real life)

MasterWuuf · Post by **MasterWuuf** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 8:33 pm

I can tell your father beat you with the sharp edge of his axe.

MasterWuuf · Post by **MasterWuuf** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:49 pm

Tongue-tied are ye? HA!
No wonder, since your momma fed you the entire bottle of Cod Liver Oil, for your condescending comments.
Now you're AFRAID to talk, or laugh, or ESPECIALLY to sneeze.

Jan · Post by **Jan** » Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:31 pm

Is this an "auto-insult"? I mean, are you talking to yourself, Wuufie?

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I challenge you II .... an insult swordfight

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