potty mouth

[cowsmanaut]

I would not say the subject of toilets is always on my mind, but I would say that a good one is important, and the way in which it opperates is a big enough deal to most people.

As a man, urinals also have an affect on us too. I mean let's face it, when society and the act of disposing of bodily waste is concerned there are a lot of hang ups.

Not just emotional, but health as well.

Let us start with the pot, the can, the porcelain god. There has been a lot of innovation lately to this item, where it is self flushing, self cleaning, if it shoots water up your arse or not.

I thought the idea of a self flushing pot was a good idea at first, but I've come the the conclusion that it's often poorly implemented. The flush is often too short and leaves behinds bits in the water which is horrible in itself, but even worse when the next little error occurs, and the sensor goes of suddenly and flushes while you are still seated. There is one of these in a place I work where they have placed the paper too far from the toilet itself so you need to lean far forward to get to it.. which of course causes a sudden splash of dirty water.. I've now made it a habit of setting off the sensor before hand a few times before seating to be sure that should it happen, at least it's just water.

I then noted in some videos that they have revolving seat covers to give you a clean seat, well when using public washrooms I generally use a little TP on the seat.. mens washrooms often have the general public thinking they have perfect aim and a lack of desire to use the urinals, just in case little jo jo get's seen by big Tom to the left of him.. but more on that later. My ex often had a bottle of hand sanitizer with her as she mentioned some women stand on the seat and then proceed to pee all over it as well. So, this revolving seat is meant to make it nice and clean for you.. but what happens when it goes off by itself? and you're still trying to sit there? a little bum burn perhaps? or this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5ul7prwoiM

having traveled a few places now I've had some concerns about additions such as a blast of intentional watter up my arse.. I didn't find that in London, as the only thing strange there was the handle had to be pumped several times to get the water through, where as ours you need only push the handle once and off it goes. I did have concern in france but again dodged that bullet only to discover that in mens public washrooms the mens toilet has no seats.. just a rim.. so I did a bit of hover and poop action there. good for the leg muscles.. So were then is this ever popular gout of water found? It appears to be added to this very fancy waste disposal unit..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cES3hO9E ... re=related

Then we have Turkish toilets. For those who like to stand on the seat. There are articles explaining how it's so much better and natural for men and women, and pregnant women.. etc etc.. to me it just seems akward, and requires you to take off your pants entirely

then there is the good old outhouse. Where you get to smell all the people who came before you and the wonders of nature try to fly up your arse for a fresh bite can not be more disgusting. There was a story about those who loved these things a little too much a few years back, where a man in a fishermans drawers decended into the outhoues and waited for people to sit down and he'd look at their goods... yes.. that's a real story.. disgusting but real :S

Let us move on to the Urinal, women, if you have not had a man complain to you about these yet, you're in for a treat

Urinals come in all sorts, there is the standard one which is like a small lowered sink.. shaped in some cases almost egg like. These have a small spattering of holes at the base usually or a cover, or some kind of urinal puck which causes the pee to have little chance to escape in a timely fashion and often will cause back splash.. this of course causes the more cautious men to standback and instead pee all over the floor, giving you a nice puddle to step around. Then there is the longer more square unit, these appear to come in half size or full length. and are much more like pissing against the wall. which again cause splash back, which brings us to the trough/fountain urinal which is a communal urinal.. no walls just a wall of water with a little trough of pee at the bottom draining out as water falls into it.. This was someone's brilliant idea for taking the water to prevent splashback as it should go with the flow downwards.. well in theory it works.. it's just that it sprays a bit more and now all over your shoes. Good attempt though. The other issue with it is the fact that everyone needs to stand beside eachother and yet no one has assigned places.. you don't want to get too close, and you don't want others looking at your goods. At least that's the issue in north america.. perhaps not in france...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6OZQYggiMg

Many north american men have issues over other men seeing their goods. One possibility is that that person may be homosexual and may take pleasure from it, or that it might make them homosexual... uh... PLEASE.. not likley. The other is a concern over their penis size. Which incidentally is not nearly as cut and dry as we are lead to believe. It's not as if we are all standing there with a hard on.. I mean really, a man with a 3 inch flacid penis may be 9 inches hard and the man with a 5 inch flacid penis could just end up 5.5.. it's all in the wrinkles.. which is not to say you should be investigating if their john thomas looks like an 80 year old shar pei with wrinkles on it's wrinkles.. and besides that fact.. you need nothing more than 3 inches to give a G-spot orgasm so.. unless you're worried about how close you can get to her cervix.. GIVE IT UP! it's not worth the emotional distress.... but I digress..

Either way, these urinals are not quite designed with mens equipment, or hang ups, in mind. Something that recedes into the wall at the natural angle of the stream would be far more efficient. I'm not about to open up the market for that myself though... perhaps some other entrepreneur.

So, perhaps you have some stories you would like to share? videos? jokes?

I'm officially opening this topic to all of your, for those who just want to read and not leave your mark, and for those of you who enjoy a little bathroom humor

oddly enough, the first thing my Dad does when he visits a new place is check out their bathoom

weee

[Christopher]

I tend to like the design of public toilet pots more than ones that are designed for the home. The house toilets seem to be designed with female anatomy in mind and not the male's. I absolutely hate touching the inside walls of a circlular shaped house toilet with you know what. Public ones, while certainly more dirty, are usually oval shaped and very long, helpful for that "first thing in the morning" time. I never understood why house toilets have to be circular shaped and have always wondered if other men have the same problem. They must, but nothing's been done here in the states to correct it.

Water level for house toilets is another concern. Toilets seem to have a fixed level that varies from toilet to toilet. Basically, the higher the water, the less splash when you're standing up. But that also means more splash when you're sitting down. There has to be some level thats perfect, but I have yet to find it. I'd rather have the water level higher because I can always add a layer of toilet paper to catch my BM and prevent splashback.

As far as the whole seat up or seat down battle between the sexes here in the states goes, I always leave the seat how I found it.

[Gambit37]

Slow day, Cows?

[cowsmanaut]

Agreed Christopher that the home based pots are poorly designed for mens appendage.. I've just always accepted that fact and do the pre-seat tuck and lean

As for the TP barrier, it only works for the first drop

Oh, and the seat? I always thought of it this way.. I need the seat up sometimes, and I need it down sometimes.. I need to lift it when I need to.. so why then must I lift and lower it? why not leave it up all the time and she can lower it and raise it back up when she is done? It's one of those very one sided arrangements which is totally unfair and yet as a society on whole have accepted as somehow fair? not me man.. now that said.. out of the goodness of my heart, I lower the seat when done.. but not because I'm told to.. It's more likley the female would get the reverse response if I got comments about the position of the seat

Gambit.. not so much a slow day, as a sudden desire to write about *something* I wasn't sure what... and it seemed as good as any I mean, who doesn't go to the bathroom?

[beowuuf]

Superman?

Travelling through india and seeing rows of people squat along a roadsided was certainly...interesting...ly weirdly scary.

I have nothing bad to say about our public toilets after that. And by extention, the squat toilet is also very weird, and thank god for tourist hotels everywhere we travelled!

[ian_scho]

It took me a full 5 seconds to find what I wanted to say on the matter. Just read the home page is enough, and I like the way it presents its information.

http://www.toilet-related-ailments.com/index.html

[Christopher]

The problem with tucking is the possibility of submersion, another nasty thing.

[cowsmanaut]

loop it 'round your wrist a few times first then

or decrease the amount of water in the bowl