The big leap !

[Joramun]

Hi fellows,

I'm 27 and a half, I have just quitted my first job and place (just one month more there) on an impulse.

I had been thinking about moving and changing job for a long time, since I began my job, 3 years ago,
and now, I have just one month to find whatever I'll do next. A leap without a parachute.
Those three years were not useless though: I feel more confident about myself and my abilities, even though I still have no idea of what I want to be (or become).

It may sound irresponsible or weird, but I had to do that to - kick my own butt - moving.

It's a big leap into the unknown, I just hope it will fit my blurry goal:
I just want to be a better person, and happier.
This may sound weird, since I'm more or less a quiet and trouble-less person.
(though I don't think I'm boring )
But I feel that without a goal, I have to navigate life randomly.

I'd be happy to hear your thoughts, especially those who have made similar experiences.

Jor

[ian_scho]

Blimey, you sound just like me many, many moons ago.

I had a job for 3 years and knew that I needed to change... But I couldn't work myself up to it as I was so comfortable and yet unsure of the future elsewhere. The short of it was that after a 10 day intensive meditation holiday I suddenly realised that I was afraid of change. Embracing it I immediately accepted an offer from a friend to go to Australia for a year travelling and ended up discovering both 'me' and the continent. Well the friend didn't hang around for long which was fine but I can tell you that I only needed 6 months to work out what was important to me...

And here I am in Spain, with two children and the most beautiful woman on the planet... Female readers excluded.

(Oh and I think I'm boring )

[Joramun]

I don't think you're boring, for that matters. Australia is my "back-up" plan, but the more I think about it, the more there's nothing else than back-up.

Thanks for your tale !

[cowsmanaut]

I did dead end job after dead end job. I really had no direction in life.. it was not until 26 years old I started on my current path.. which is a path that has made me very happy for 11 years... and really it started as a series of accidental elements plus a determined idea to find a career I could enjoy instead of the crummy jobs I'd been doing.

So nothing wrong with making the change at your age. Many of us do it. In fact a lot of students I teach are in that general range having left a job that did not satisfy them. One of our best animators was a bio engineer of plants. We had a great designer who was previously a prison cop. Modelers who were Nurses.. and so on. Sometimes we fall into these bad jobs simply because we feel this expectation to follow the "reasonable" path rather than the one our heart tells us we need.

For me, I'm an artist and a teacher. I love those two things and do them without really thinking about it. I like to share ideas and dreams.. and to hear those of others. If it was not my job, I'd be doing it anyway.. so really.. it's good to find I can be paid to do that. The question you must ask is.. what is it that you love to do? and can you make money at that? or something related to what you love. ie. those who love to travel look for jobs that force that upon them. A sort of reward within the job.

Find that, and you should be ok...

[Joramun]

That's funny how I feel connected to both your experiences. I feel I like to teach, but I'm not sure I'm an artist or a scientist...
I'm interested in many different things, so much that sometimes I feel superficial about everything:
math, physics, biology, history, anthropology, philosophy, music, graphic art...
I read and practice all of these (at various levels) with pleasure but none intensively !

My current job was quite a secure environment, with a good salary and a nice place to live in.
The most bizarre fact is I decided to go at the very time I started to have very strong connection with the people around me.
And I'm not fleeing those people, I really love my friends here.
I've never been so confident, and I guess having all those people at my side gave me the courage to quit !

As a sidenote, my parents are not a help, because however nice and caring they are, they're very unsecure and afraid that I'm unstable or whatever,
while they project there own failings (they're more or less divorced and both didn't really do their dream job) and urge me to follow "the safe path"...

Anyway, the main pathes I'm hesitating among right now are:
- Travelling-holidays somewhere (South America, Nepal, Australia, New Zealand, Japan... are among the place I would like to visit)
- Working somewhere (engineering job)
- Going back to studies

The only common point is: I want to go abroad for a while and let my mind wander. The hope is that I will come upon my truth.

There's another thing I like to do but never take the time to do: writing stuff.

It's good to know that at least some people who were or are thriving for a better life manage to settle and feel happy...

A friend of mine read this sentence written on a wall in Nepal:

Those who have high thoughts are ever striving; they are not happy to remain in the place.
Like swans that leave their lake and rise to the air, they leave their home and fly to higher home.

I don't know the author, and I'm not sure I have such high thoughts, but I'm certainly ever striving !

[Gambit37]

I might have some words on this, as I've been working for myself for three years after getting out of the "rat race". Can't clearly think about it right now though, will ponder and get back to you

[Bit]

I think I should have learned baker...

[Chaos-Shaman]

so you wanna be a rap star, a big house, five cars etc , hehehe, really, kindness is the rule, and a bottle of happiness...

[Zyx]

If you come to South America, be sure to have a stop or a stay at our home.

Personally I think our life must not be designed by others. So your first step should be to discover what you essentially really need - and how much! - and how easy you can obtain it. Those are the constraints. The rest is sheer freedom.
Traveling, meeting people, living outdoors, trying at least a dozen of different jobs and learning a bit of everything and of every culture is a good way to discover what you like and what the world can currently offer.
However, this is not a safe path. It fits me because I'm more interested by freedom and fairness of relationships than prestige or money. Creativity is also more attracting than routine to me.
Also, if you are to succeed in your adventure, you'll need some discipline, which is just allowing yourself a certain amount of time for a given task and complying.

[Joramun]

I guess discipline is the one thing I lack the most...

[beowuuf]

Hmm, five years ago now I quit my previous job. It wasn't paying great nor using my university skills, but it was pretty secure. I quit, spent a few months working on my skillset and also putting myself out in trms of where I would work (I'd still been based in my home town) and ended up shifting career and moving to the other end of the country.

It's amazing how much time can pass if you just settle on doing what you are doing, and amazing what you can get done if you have some inertia from a change.

The secret is probably managing to keep a detached distance from the scary/exhilerating side of being able to do anything you want within reason, to actually focusing yourself on a path. All paths are compromise and shut off other exciting possibilities, so the trick is to not get distracted or nervous abotu the possibilities you lose (certainly don't let them stop you) but also making sure you have a real fire for what you are getting in to.

[ian_scho]

if you are to succeed in your adventure, you'll need some discipline, which is just allowing yourself a certain amount of time for a given task and complying.

True that...

[Zyx]

The secret is probably managing to keep a detached distance from the scary/exhilerating side of being able to do anything you want within reason, to actually focusing yourself on a path. All paths are compromise and shut off other exciting possibilities, so the trick is to not get distracted or nervous abotu the possibilities you lose (certainly don't let them stop you) but also making sure you have a real fire for what you are getting in to.

That's the thing I still can't do... but I'm trying hard lately. I like your wisdom Beo.

[Parallax]

I came in expecting to read that you were getting married (the big leap) and ready to offer my congratulations, but I'll stay and offer them anyway, on having the courage to quit your comfort zone to follow your dreams! Good on you, you're doing what I never had the courage to do, and which I can no longer do (a wife in school and two kids to take care of, it's safe way all the way for me now, that ship has sailed). Remember, even in the worst of crises, I don't think anyone ever said: "Crud! I wish I hadn't followed my dreams..."

[Relig]

I believe in the 'set a path' as I've been living without one for some time now, and have been unhappy at work and personal for too long.

Do what you enjoy, and sometimes like the wind it can change, so change with it.

Good luck, no choices are wrong, it's how you react to them that can be unheathy...

[Joramun]

Thank you all ! The last few days have been rich in advice from this forum and outside, and got me some more courage to work this out.
The path will probably choose me more than the reverse, but that's what freedom seems to be made of.

Parallax: true, the topic title is probably badly chosen... I'll have to find something bigger when (if) I get married.
Congratulations to you, last time we talked you had only one child !

[Parallax]

Congratulations to you, last time we talked you had only one child !

o.O!
Really? Wow, time flies. Well thank you, and I hope a nice path chooses you.